Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmauel.

It's two days before Christmas. All across the country, last minute shoppers are crowding the malls, the Wal-Marts and countless other big name stores. Some haven't shopped at all - others are looking for gifts that they inadvertantly left off their list. Busy. Busy. Busy.

Also, all across America, (because we can worship God without fear of persecution), Sunday Schools are presenting their Christmas pageants to proclaim the story of Mary and Joseph and a stable in Bethlehem where the Prince of Peace is born. Our church is no exception - even as I type, our parish children are presenting their play, singing their songs, being prompted on their forgotten lines.
Not being there is difficult for me - but being home is necessary. The doctor has me on medication for severe bronchitis or pneumonia...my xray results will be available on Wednesday. Meanwhile, I can do some things here at home as strength permits. The kids will be here soon and although I wanted the house to be spotless and picture perfect, God has also given me the wisdom to know that what matters is the state of my heart. Nothing wrong with my heart physically - it beats as steadily as ever. But I want it to be ready - oh, so welcoming - for Jesus. That the peace He brings to the world will be within me as well - with out question.
Funny, isn't it? How we prepare, the work we do, the gifts we buy, and wrap, and give, when the most important and precious gift we have to give is a child named Jesus. If we give Him - above all else - as God gave Him to us - we have realized that Christmas is truly a season of peace. The region where He was born is now full of fighting and soldiers and killing each day...but the Prince of Peace reigns over all. He is there in the courage of the soldiers, the strength of the people, the hope of the oppressed.

Come, Emmanuel, the hearts of the world are ready for your peace. Again.

God bless our troops and those who wait for them.

Blessings...

Sue

Getting closer - uh oh.

Does anyone have a few extra days they can lend me before Christmas? Yesterday I was going to finish my shopping and get the gifts all wrapped. 3/4 of them are sitting down in the basement all wrapped and ready for their bows. Scott moved them there on Friday before Veronica got here. I won't put the bows on them until they go under the tree because the glue on the bows dry out and fall off. This is the first year I have done this so we'll see if it helps or if the bows will still be scattered under the tree on Christmas morning.

So did I go shopping? Nope - the Binker (that's our nickname for Veronica) was extremely busy yesterday and Ron had a project going so I needed to be here to take care of her. At 3 1/2 she is pretty good, but she is VERY busy so Ron couldn't steam wallpaper off the wall and watch her too. Today I am not in church because this bronchial thing has returned with a vengeance. I coughed all day and night yesterday and don't really want to cough in church all morning too. Lovely.

Today, I will DEFINITELY wrap presents and get my recipes together for some cookie baking during the week. Somehow, it all gets done - doesn't it? When I was a little girl, I used to watch my mom getting ready for Christmas and she used to move from one project to the next with such, I don't know, finesse? You would think that SOME of that would have rubbed off on my sisters and I. No such luck. But as I've said before - I love a challenge.

We feel so blessed that Laurie, Stephen, and Kasey will be home for Christmas this year. Who knows what God's plans are for us all from one year to the next? But we trust that we are safely in His care and that is a wonderful assurance every single day. His will for us is perfect.

Tomorrow is the last day of the Fall semester - LOTS of things to do at work to make sure that all students who are requesting financial aid for just the fall semester will have their financial aid on the system and in place. While this can be a stressful time, it can also be very stimulating for the brain ( I tell myself that's a good thing at my age :).

For those who are traveling this week, Godspeed you safely to your destination.

For my friends who have loved ones in the sand, your loved ones are in the constant prayers of so many - mine included. I know the urgency of those prayers - and the trust with which we pray. Waiting for the answers is where our faith can be revealed - and His grace.

My friends - forgive me if I don't stop in too frequently this week. I'm getting ready for Kasey, and Christmas...and Jesus.

Hopeless cases?

SO, there I was in the church balcony on Sunday morning, singing the opening hymn with the rest of the choir - my dear friend Jan next to me. Jan is a military mom also - her son and daughter in law are serving in the Navy. So as we sang, we looked below to the congregation as latecomers took their place in the pews. One of my friends - a proud grandma to a Marine (Nick) who just returned from the sand - came into church and walked to the front, where most of her family - daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren - sit on Sunday mornings with regularity. She looked to the back of the church and the next person Jan and I saw walk in was Nick - looking so handsome in his dress blues. I stopped singing and started crying, giving in to the lump in my throat and the immense pride and thanksgiving for this 19 year old man/child we have so often prayed for on Sunday mornings (and many other times as well). Jan shifted her hymnal to one hand, and wiped the tears from her eyes as well.

So I guess you could say we are hopeless cases. As we laughed and cried at the same time - kindred spirits in this life as military moms - we knew it was ok; knew that if the other choir members noticed, they knew why the tears were flowing and why we couldn't sing that first hymn of praise.

It's ok - God didn't mind. After all, He is the one who put these hearts in us, gave us this path to walk, and brought Nick home safely. No hymn of praise, but hearts full of praise.

Hopeless? Well, maybe Jan and I could be considered hopeless by those who don't know what this roller coaster ride is all about. But always - always - it's our hope in Christ that gets us through. If that's what being a hopeless case is all about, I'm a lifer.

God bless our troops - and those who love them.

UH OH - Overdrive Time.

THE weekend has arrived. It's the weekend that you get to say thank goodness there are still two weeks until Christmas. Which translates to: OH man...I think I better get going. Tonight is list night. Tomorrow is shopping. Sunday is wrapping while watching football. Veronica is here - actually behind me, sitting on Papa's lap and watching Frosty the Snowman while eating an oreo cookie. Ahhh - life sure is simple for 3 year olds.

The weather is definitely Christmas weather - it's been cold all week...some snow - lots of it in ski country. This gives people the incentive to buy skis, or ski jackets, and gloves and hats and warm jackets. Tomorrow we are taking Veronica shopping for some good warm boots. Her mommy requested that when she dropped her off tonight. Tomorrow night we are taking her to the Christmas light show - there are several in our area. Or maybe we will just drive around a few of the local neighborhoods and enjoy a free show and save our money for some hot chocolate or a soda at the local ice cream parlor after we've looked at the lights. We're trying to do something special at least one day of each weekend so that Veronica and Scott can do something other than hang around the house. We want Veronica to have an adventure to tell her mommy and brother about when she goes home each Sunday. It's important that Tina knows that we are trying to make sure Veronica is not just spending time here, but is having fun too.

It's my hope that tomorrow morning will find me still in bed at 6:30 - maybe 7 if I'm lucky. And then I will have 2 cups of coffee before I start the shopping trip. THE shopping trip. I think I feel tired already.

Hoping that your weekend will bring you blessings.

God bless our troops and those who wait.

Blogs are the Cat's Meow!

Hi everyone. Have I told you lately how much I appreciate your company? It's really wonderful how my world has opened up since I visited my first blog about 3 years ago...oh my gosh - it's been that long. First blog I visited was Cathy's...she is a friend from our military moms website...and she led me to Erik who led me to others and so on and so on. Problem is, I am noticing all of your WONDERFUL sidebars with lists of links to other blogs and I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THAT! There are so many sites I would like to post links to...blogs that have made me laugh, and cry; they have sent me to the Lord in prayer, to give thanks, and rejoice. So many good and gracious bloggers I have "met." Ok, so this weekend, I am going to read all the help topics I can find about posting links and other cool things. When I think of the things that I do on my computer at work - the programs I use, and the processes I run...and yet I can't figure out how to dress up Two Star Mom.

Meanwhile, please say a prayer tonight for a little cat named Butterball. She was recently adopted by a friend of mine, but she has kennel cough and she needs a few prayers. You might remember that when we adopted our doggie Lily, she had kennel cough and she was a very, very sick puppy. She probably wouldn't have made it because humane societies can't afford to make all the sick puppies and kitties well. So God lets them get adopted and then He takes it from there. Butterball...get better please. Your new mom needs you - and you need her very much (there will be lots of treats and a nice soft bed and maybe even a can of tuna once in awhile). As I said, blogs are the cat's meow. Meow and purr and have a happy life, Butterball.

I first began this blog when Laurie re-joined the military. The roller coaster ride of being a military mom - a love/hate thing that stirs up so much pride regardless of whether it's uphill, downhill, or hairpin curves - life wouldn't be the same with out this ride. But we need company along the way. It was my hope that I would be able to encourage military loved ones - cause we understand each other. Funny thing happened - you have blessed me. With your friendship, your own blogs, your encouragement when things have been difficult in my life, the blessings have been abundant. I have seen faith that can move mountains, strength and courage that give me strength and courage. And always understanding - we really do understand that life is ours to experience just once...with the adventures and the blessings being constant. I've learned a lot in the last few years - but it always comes down to one thing dear to the hearts of so many of us - our military.

May God bless them all - ALL of them - but especially those who serve in the sands of the Middle East. Lord please keep them safe and send them home soon to their loved ones. We're all waiting for them - and we love each and every one of them.

Blessings my friends...thanks for stopping by.

Sometimes the blessings are beyond our comprehension.

This morning I overslept a bit. Not too too late, but about half an hour. So I had to move pretty quick to get out of the house on time. I got to work early as always, and I checked my email - my work email and then my home email. I opened an email from my little sister - her name is Michelle, but we call her Chelle. She lives in FL so we don't see each other very often but we talk on the phone at least once or twice a week. She had called here on Sunday needing Laurie's phone number so Ron gave it to her and she said she would call back later. By the time we talked to Laurie a couple of hours later, she had already talked to Aunt Chelle. Just chit chat she said.

Now Michelle has a way of doing these wonderful acts of kindness, and so this morning when I opened her email - the subject of which was: "WE LOVE YOU" I wondered what it's contents would be.

There, in living color and with lots of letters and numbers, was an itinerary for Laurie, Stephen and Kasey. They are coming home for Christmas after all, compliments of Aunt Chelle and Uncle Bob. I got my cell phone out and called Michelle right away - she has caller ID so she knew it was me. I said - tears in my eyes and huge lump in my throat..."MICHELLE!!"

And she said, "Isn't it fun?" And I said, "but I can't pay you back..." and she said, huge lump in her throat, "You already do....every single day." Now we were both crying. I couldn't talk and she couldn't talk and so we just said I love you and hung up. I sat there and cried my eyes out - to think that she loves us this much. One of our staff members was in the other side of the office and she came around the corner really quickly and asking me if I was ok. I said, "Diane, these are happy tears..." and I told her what was happening and she hugged me. God always puts people in my path when I need a hug or when I need to share wonderful news and give someone a hug out of sheer thanksgiving. Poor Diane - first I scare the heck out of her...then I hug her. All before the coffee had finished brewing at my desk. :)

So now, instead of the kids being alone way out where they are, and our family being incomplete at Christmas....Kasey and Veronica will be getting a visit from Santa at the same home. And from now til Christmas, when I hear that "I'll be home for Christmas" song...I can turn up the radio and sing along...instead of just listening and wishing. Cause the kids will be home.

To think GOD loves me this much to have given me this beautiful and generous sister and her husband. I just tried to leave her a voice mail - I wasn't able to say very much - that lump again.

Now I realize that being apart for a holiday isn't the end of the world considering the distance between deployed soldiers and their families...and that's why I didn't say much about not being together - but when I think of how God blesses us when we least suspect it... well, it just boggles my mind.

Michelle and Bob - we love you. Oh Lord, bless them abundantly, please.

God bless our troops. And those who wait for them.

God blesses us in so many ways.

Happy Thanksgiving! I suspect not too many people will be checking out blogs today so I thought that when I got a break in the chopping and dicing and all that good stuff I could pop in and say hi.
God has blessed us so abundantly as a nation - and as individual Americans. I was saying to some of my friends this morning He has so many wonderful things in store for us all - I have seen that at work every single day.
This may seem short for a holiday message....but there is sincerity when I say that you all are so important to me. Most of you I have never met and yet we have this connection - many of us because someone (or more than one someone) we love is serving in the military. May each and every soldier be blessed today - no matter where they serve, they are the true spirit of what the Pilgrims wanted for this nation. We are a baby compared to so many other countries and yet, God has chosen to bless us with His love...and the freedom to worship Him.
God bless you all - I am truly grateful for all of you. But especially, may He bless our troops - and those who love them.
Blessings,
Sue

Saturday at Nana's house.

Sitting here listening to Ron and Veronica in the kitchen having their breakfast - the rule of thumb is that Papa makes eggs and toast for her on Saturday and Sunday mornings while I sit here and enjoy my Saturday morning coffee and wait til Ron is out of the kitchen so that I can clean it up and start messing it up again with some sort of baking project. Today I will make chocolate chip cookies with one slight change in the routine. Veronica will be helping Nana make them. :)
Last night, Scott took us out for dinner to Ruby Tuesday's. It was a great dinner just because the four of us were together. Veronica had a great time - sampling everyone's flavored lemonade and then drinking her chocolate milk - served in one of those little one serving bottles they sell in the grocery stores. She just thought that was so cool. Then we went to Toys r Us and that didn't last long because Veronica's eyes were like saucers. Scott bought her a pound puppy and I bought her some barnyard animals. She LOVES her barnyard animals and has enough to start her own zoo.
Scott is working today so we will make it a Papa, Nana and Veronica day. Tacos for dinner and then her Saturday night bath. Tomorrow she will go home when Scott goes to work.
It's taking some time getting used to all the changes in our family. Tina is a little different now and while I still love her so much, I don't understand her sometimes. I have decided that it's time to take the pictures of Scott and Tina together with the kids off my sofa table. Another chapter is beginning in our lives - it actually began last July with their separation. I think it might be painful for Scott to see them everyday and it's time for me to face the music. It's not a happy tune, but sometimes we need to sing it anyway.
It's life and as I've said before, it is what it is.
But praise God for little girls who still think it's fun to spend a Saturday with Nana. It's been awhile since I've baked cookies with a 3 year old, but I think it'll all come back to me.
God bless our troops and those who wait.

38 Years

Today is our 38th wedding anniversary. Yikes. I always thought that people married this long had to be old, or infirm - heck, maybe both. But we aren't - at least we don't think so. It was a great day - I had requested the day off and this morning when I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, it said 5am. I smiled, pulled the comforter up and fell back to sleep until 7:30. That's like noon to me. Went and had some blood work done and came home and had a good breakfast with 2 cups of coffee...this morning I used the Folgers.
We started watching a movie - Amazing Grace - but then it was time to take Scott to work and so we paused it. We dropped Scott off and then I said I wanted to do a little Christmas shopping. Ron was thrilled (not). But I did get a few cute things for Laurie - there is a new store at the mall that I'd heard was nice. She is always the one I start with because she is so easy to buy for - and this store is to die for. Well, Ron was with me so I behaved.
We went to Red Lobster for dinner - MAJOR food consumed - it was delicious. Key Lime pie and coffee too. We don't do that very often - very special occasions only. I think celebrating 38 years makes it a special occasion - don't you?
So it's been a really great day - time spent together always is a wonderful thing. We've been blessed with many things in our marriage. There have, of course, been some lean years, some times of growing, and times when if we hadn't had our love we wouldn't have made it.
But that's the thing - God has always blessed us with love and no matter what we went through, we came out stronger on the other side. Unfortunately, couples don't always have that nowadays.
I love you Ron.
And I will just close by saying Thank you Lord for Ron, for our marriage, and for all that You have given us in our 38 years together. Blessing upon blessing.

For the brave - who have always kept us free.

Today being Veteran's Day, it was important to me that I post. This morning in church as part of the prelude, the organist played the Navy hymn. I love that hymn and of course it always brings tears to my eyes. I cry when the Star Spangled Banner is sung, or when we are visiting the kids and we happen to see a platoon of soldiers marching by. They represent the very best our nation has to offer - seasoned SGTs yelling out orders, or PVTs calling cadence as they march along - men with their basic training haircuts and women with their hair gathered in a little knot at the nape of their neck. The best of the best. Sons, daughters, husbands, wives and grandchildren - maybe they are the boy or girl next door. Whoever they are, we love them and the pride that fills our hearts does bring a lump to our throat and tears to our eyes.

For those who have served in years past - you are the role models for those who have followed in your footsteps. In the muck of Vietnam, Pork Chop Hill in Korea, WW II's Battle of the Bulge and Iwo Jima; the battles of the German forests in WW I...and so on and so on. Since our nation was born.

Thank you for your sacrifices - your time away from your homes. Your willingness to go into harm's way. And for the ultimate sacrifice you have often had to make.

Let us not forget those who are serving in harm's way today - let us remember them in prayer as they take on the missions they are asked to. Not everyone believes in those missions - but we all believe in YOU.

God bless you all - for you have blessed America.

BOO!

Trick or treat!
Hi - it's been awhile - I think I have writer's block or something. Just can't get into the swing of things these days. There's so much going on - at home, at work...on my mind and in my heart. Today being Halloween, I didn't dress up as in years past...had some ideas last night but no Halloween makeup and our corner store was closed - so I didn't wear a costume. It felt weird. Last year I was some sort of clown - my "clown hair" sticking from underneath my hat was put together with brightly colored curling ribbon and Ron's coveralls did just fine for my pants - his favorite flannel shirt with the holes in the sleeves - well, let's just say I understand now why it's his favorite....just really comfortable. I love driving to work in my costume - it's interesting because everyone is so busy driving and cutting in and changing lanes that they don't even notice that the person sitting behind the wheel in the car next to them has a bright red rubber nose and a plastic cigar tucked behind their ear. People are in such a hurry these days.
So anyway, this year, I don't know. Call it weariness or something - I just wasn't into it. Scott and Tina's separation is wearing on my heart these days - and on my mind too. I'm angry, sad, confused, and just plain tired of trying to figure how two people who seemed so in love could let it get away. Please understand that I am grateful to have Scott here after what we went through in August when he went so far away - it just takes some getting used to.
I was talking to a friend yesterday(you know who you are :) and she was telling me that her life has changed drastically also, having separated from her husband. But she has a new Friend now - she is seeking our Father and the more she talks with Him, the more comfortable it is for her. That's kind of the way things happen - we can be in the deepest valleys, but somehow God lifts us up and although we may not feel like we are on a mountain top, we know that we are safe and being taken care of. And we know that this too - whatever it may be - shall pass.
I guess my writer's block is chipping away - it feels good to be back.
Tonight, as we sit in the "sticks" with only two trick or treaters - Princess Veronica and King Something Luke (a character from one of Luke's video games) - having rung our doorbell, I am feeling kind of nostalgic. Years ago, when Scott and Laurie were Luke and Veronica's age, it was always hectic around here on halloween. Now, they are the parents and it's funny - what goes around comes around: "You can't eat all that candy now - you won't have any left when you get home." Or "don't be ridiculous, you HAVE to wear your jacket - it matches your princess costume just fine." I chuckle thinking of it all.
Protestants also observe Reformation Day today....the day that we observe Martin Luther's posting of his 95 Thesis proclaiming the "gospel in a nutshell" - that by grace we are saved through faith.
One year, when I was teaching Tuesday night Confirmation classes, Pastor and the rest of the teachers had decided to have a Reformation Day party. If we or the kids were going to wear a costume, it had to be biblical in nature. So, having worn my very best Pillsbury Dough Boy get up during working hours, I came home, put on a fuzzy white sweater with my white food service uniform pants and a fluffy white winter hat with flaps, and a pair of white mittens and went to the party dressed as - a sheep! I was rather creative back then. Of course some of the kids thought I looked like a bunny.
Just got home from our friend's house next door. Put a mask on and went trick or treating to see if they had any good candy. Nestle's Crunch Bars - worth the trip, especially since we talked for about half an hour about everything under the sun. I love those impromptu visits.
Better go now - Lilly is getting restless and has her rope toy in her mouth so I guess that means, "let's play mom!"
Laurie will send us lots of pictures tomorrow of Kasey's Halloween adventures. Can't wait to see them. I wonder how many candy bars he had tonight? Ahhh, Laurie, PAYBACK TIME!!
God bless our troops and those who wait.

"You WILL be back tomorrow, right?"

I had a new staff member start this week...a very nice lady and it seemed she was going to work out just fine. But on Monday, as the day ended, she looked pretty tired. I said - you WILL be back tomorrow, right? She laughed and said that she would be.
Of course, when new staff members start, we like them to think we are organized...like a well oiled machine that hums along like an expensive diesel engine on the most expensive pick up truck you can buy (Ron's dream). Are there any offices that work like that? Well, not in my world. We truly are a well oiled machine...but there's a little water mixed in there so it doesn't hum too quietly sometimes. But it all gets done somehow.
Anyway, our new girl did return on Tuesday and she came back yesterday as well. And I thought: well, I guess we must be doing something right. I took her to a different part of campus at noontime to show her around a little bit and we had lunch together too. She said our office is a lot busier than she thought it would be but she is learning things already. Great to know she is such a quick learner, I thought.
This morning when I arrived at work at 7:30 and there was a voice mail waiting for me. It was the new girl - she had called at 6:35 this morning. "I will not be returning," she said, "I don't think the job is a good fit for me." I called her back immediately but she didn't answer and so I left her a voicemail and said that I felt bad that she wasn't returning and did I do something to offend her...did any of us do anything to offend her? She called me back at 3 o'clock and said it was nothing we did...she's just not ready to return to an office environment. I had looked in her desk drawer earlier in the day and found her parking tag, her id card, and her keys. This means that she would have had to walk to her car, remove the parking tag and return to the office and put everything in her desk drawer and then leave, knowing that this job wasn't going to work out. How difficult that must have been for her...as well as the call she made this morning. I felt pretty dejected all day, more for her than for me. I was disappointed for our office, but also for her.
It will be December before we find another person to fill her position. We have two other positions open so will probably hire all three staff members at the same time.
So, tomorrow will be another day. Lots to do -there always is. Seems like the weeks fly by - the days sometimes crawl a little bit though. Know the feeling?
With Wendy's son soon to be back in his home town - he returned to his home base recently and Wendy was there when he stepped off the plane - it's so good to know that my friend now knows the comfort of not waking in the middle of the night wondering where Jay is and whether he is on a mission. God does bring us comfort during times like that - He makes us realize that He is the only one we can trust our loved ones to because as awesome of a task as that might seem to us, it's an everyday gift of love He gives to us all. He has the answers to all the questions we ask over and over again -we don't always "get it" the first time we ask Him...but He is patient. I wonder if He ever says, "You WILL be back tomorrow, won't you?"
My answer? Dear Lord, yes. (Do you think it's ok if I go back to Him BEFORE tomorrow?).
Blessings to you all and may God bless our troops and those who wait.

Coming home...and leaving.

As I sit here tonight giving thanks for the soldiers returning home this week from the sand, I also give thanks for the soldiers who are leaving this week for their time in the sandbox. What they do is not an ordinary thing - and is not a journey anyone should take lightly. Now I fully realize that unless you've walked in the shoes, a person can't realize the gravity of what this means to a soldier (sailor, marine or airman), and to his or her family. When your child calls and says, "we got our orders, mom" it puts a very real face on the war. I've been down that road 3 times and it will probably be a journey we will take again in the next year or two with one or both of our soldiers. The tears are very real, the sleepless nights are not a dream; the prayers that are constantly on our lips and in our hearts bombard our Father without ceasing. And anyone reading this who has experienced it will be the first one to nod their head in agreement.
And so I thank all of you whose child or husband or wife or dad or mom or brother or sister...or friend..has been to the sand. I may not ever meet you, but you are my dearest friends because we understand each other. We are the ones who will pray and support the soldiers now deployed and offer understanding and comfort to their loved ones who wait at home. Oh, don't get me wrong - I know that many, many people are praying for our troops and every word spoken from their sincere and faithful hearts are so appreciated and welcomed. It's just that those of us who walk the same path need to keep one another company on the journey.
As I mentioned last week, Ron and I watched a series written and produced by Ken Burns called "The War." It was about WWII. The hundreds of thousands of men and women who left home and never returned. Their courage, their friendships, the lives they lived moment by moment in the trenches or in the forests or on beaches far away as bombs and mortar rained down on them. It was a series that was VERY difficult to watch because it was so gruesome and sad at times. That's what war is, right? Still, if these men and women and the families who loved them could endure it - make the sacrifices they made - how can I turn it off when it gets too difficult to watch? Don't I at least owe them the time it takes for them to tell us their stories? Sometimes war is too much to think about, isn't it?
Well, it's all in how you look at it. War DOES change us... it can make our faith grow - not only in God, but in human nature and the goodness people are capable of sharing. I've seen that goodness, and experienced the faith. It made me stronger as a mom and wife and friend. It makes us better - lets us love people better.
Troops - whether coming, or going, or serving on our home soil - will never be forgotten for their efforts, for their courage and for their sacrifice. They may be one in a million who serve our nation and I know that figure is a low estimate - but they each truly are an army of one.
And I love them all.

Football...and therefore, traffic.


Are you ready for some football? Monday night football hasn't visited our area in 13 years but tonight, the Bills take on the Cowboys right here in WNY.
And the traffic I ran into from the moment I left work was, well, interesting. SUVs with 4 or 5 people in all of them - and faces painted red and white and blue (not necessarily because they are patriotic...just die hard Buffalo Bills fans). Cars with Bills flags flying from the windows on both sides of their cars; passengers telling the driver it's safe to change lanes (and the drivers believed them). All the way home - all 85 minutes of the trip - these were my traveling companions along the interstate. It's ok - I finally got home and now I am not budging...well, just from the computer to the TV. (teehee...I AM ready for some football).
I requested the day off tomorrow - I have to go for a mammogram (fun times) and I also have lots to do around the house that didn't get done over the weekend (because little Miss Veronica was here and we went on a field trip Saturday. Yesterday I was going to go into the office to clear a few things off my desk but making a fried chicken dinner with all the trimmings - including a homemade apple pie - kind of got in the way.
This morning when I went into the office and saw my desk I thought: the apple pie was worth it.
Yup, definitely worth watching Scott and Ron feed their faces.
Tonight, as my friend Wendy and her family wait for Jay to return to his home base, I can only imagine how excited they must be as they wait there for him. Lord please bless his journey home. I hope there aren't any football games to hold him up - the last thing he needs is traffic. :)
God's blessings my friends.

Five Words to live by (and for)...

I AM OUT OF IRAQ!!!! These words my friend Wendy forwarded to me in an email this morning...her son is finally not "in country" as they say. As I read the words, the days and thoughts of my own emails proclaiming that about my own children came flooding back to me. Anyone will tell you that you have to walk in the shoes to understand the gravity and thanksgiving in reading or hearing those five words. There are no words to describe the joy...or the relief...or the flood of tears that come when a soldier's family finally realize that it's over and he/she is coming home. When you get the news, you don't care where you are...where the flood of relief will hit...who will be the first one that you hug when the news finally sinks in. So tonight Wendy, I am wishing that I could have been there when you got the news. But since there are many miles between us, I hope you know that at least I was able to shed some tears with you - because I love your soldier too. And I am thrilled that you are finally getting this news. I hope that the person who received that first hug realizes the joy behind it and the relief and thanksgiving. Chances are they did not...but I hope you can feel the one I am sending to you. THANK YOU JESUS!

Now I have another friend who visits from time to time...her name is Kim. Her older son Chuck served in the Army and got out...then her youngest son Ben joined and is about to graduate from Basic...and Chuck re-enlisted. I can't believe that Ben is old enough. Kimmy...I am so proud of them both - and I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Pride is mixed in there somewhere I'm sure....just remember that there are a lot of us here who will be with you in this...no matter where the Army sends them. God bless them Kimmy - and may He bring you His peace at all times.

Nothing personal to report today...it's all about other moms and their soldiers. About old friends and renewed friendships and the blessings that are in all of these. It's about those five words that a family lives for.

God, please bless our troops...and those of us who wait. You know our hearts...and You know our trust in you dear Lord. And you know the courage and strength they hold in THEIR hearts.

For you do not give us a spirit of fear, Lord...only hope and trust. And faith.

Some things never change.

Fall weather is starting to move into Western NY. Rainy, getting a little cooler...you know, the tell tale signs that summer is over. We've had Lily for just a little over a year. When we first brought her home, she didn't want to go outside when it was raining...so we used to take her out in the rain and stand there with an umbrella while she watered the grass. Funny doggie. During the winter, she absolutely LOVED romping in the snow but didn't want to go out if it was actually in the process of snowing (huh?). All spring and summer long, she has found her perfect spot, and would lie down in her sun beam and be content for as long as we'd let her...or she would come into the garage and lie down on the cool cement floor.
So why should we be surprised when this afternoon when it was lightly misting, Scott put her leash on her and she stood there in the doorway watching the rain...and not budging until Ron came out and stood in the rain with her. Looks like nothing has changed since that once frail little doggie grew to be healthy as can be with a lot more meat on her bones. She is a wonderful companion...since Tina got rid of the two dogs living at their house, when Veronica comes over here she gets right down on the floor next to Lily and tackles her. Lily loves it...and it's so cool to watch. Last night, during a thunderstorm, Lily got up on the bed and slept between Ron and I - she took turns sharing our pillows. She hasn't slept with us all night in a long time...usually a thunder storm finds her under the bed. But she always has to know we are close by.

Tonight on my way home from work, I noticed that the leaves are starting to change...the air is getting crisper and that wonderfully colorful time of the year is upon us. One of my favorite times of the year...except for the leaves on the ground. Ron works so hard raking and the very next day the yard is full again. I think you can identify. Some things never change.

And then again, some things do change. Some things that we have no control over. I have a friend who is facing a divorce after 28 years of marriage...after that length of time it would seem that all the major kinks should be worked out. Kids are pretty much grown, the "lean" years are pretty much over because you've been working for a long time and saving toward the same goals. And then all of a sudden, the words are spoken, the split happens, and where are you?

So prayers are going up for my friend tonight...and will be in the days and weeks and months ahead as life changes for her and her family. She knows she has a strong support group, but still, the hurt is there. Remember who loves you my friend... there are lots of us. God bless your family with His love and guidance and care.

Tomorrow is Friday - another week over. They go so quickly. Jay, a soldier I have come to love, will be home from the sand box soon. As his mom makes preparations to meet his plane when he returns, there are many of us waiting, waiting, waiting. I know the 15 months he's been gone have not gone quickly for them at all, but God has been gracious.

Ron and I have been watching a PBS series by Ken Burns called The War...about WWII and it's impact on 4 American cities and the people who lived there; nearly everyone in those cities had someone serving. I know that war changes things...makes you keenly aware of the important things in life. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for families of soldiers in WWII - communication was terrible, letters took forever to get. I, like many of you, have experienced this sandbox war and may experience that yet again. It's far from being at a picnic.

This post covers doggies, and friends, autumn leaves, and soldiers. The common thread is change - good and bad. We live with change every single day - some changes of our own making; others God has preordained. Friendships, marriages, autumn leaves. As for war, God has been telling us since the very first days of creation to love each other...to be our brother's keeper..to be gentle and not hate. But then there is human nature and that really really seems to win out a lot more than it should. And so there are wars.

And our troops...there are our troops. They serve because they love their country...they believe in that word, "change." They can make a difference - make things better - with their courage and their loyalty and their sacrifice.

God, please bless them.

Busy days...special times.

This was a busy weekend. Veronica spent Friday night and Saturday night here so she could be with her da-dee. What a little charmer she can be..she bats those beautiful long eyelashes of hers and I melt...well, not always, but usually. And her Papa? Man oh man he is like silly putty when his little Veronica wants something and procedes to ask for it in that sweet as sugar 3 year old voice. She loves spending time with Scott - and it's a mutual thing. Since Scott has been here, we have encouraged him in his abilities to be a dad...he feels badly that he left for awhile and then came back. I keep telling him that the most important thing to remember is what brought him back home...his family. So, each weekend, Veronica will spend at least one night at Nana and Papa's (and now Da-dee's house too). Usually, she prefers to fall asleep on the couch and then Scott carries her upstairs to Laurie's old bedroom. As I watched Scott leave the family room last night with her asleep on his shoulder, for a moment it seemed like only yesterday Scott was the sleepy toddler and Ron the daddy with an arm full of snips and snails. Funny how a mom's mind and heart never forget images like that.
Our two soldiers are settling in nicely at their new home. Kasey enjoys the warmer weather and his new day care seems to agree with him. K-bug posted a really, really nice story the other day on her website - about spending time on Army bases and listening for Reveille and Taps in the morning and at night. The military life is not an easy one - but it is a simple one. Even their entertainment and times of family fun are simple...kind of a forgotten art in the busy busy times we've all become so accustomed to. And so, Kasey (and any little sisters or brothers he might have in the future :) will learn to live life not taking things for granted. He will understand that happiness is as simple and wonderful as having both his mommy and daddy at home with him and that nothing is more exciting than seeing mommy or daddy after they've been gone for awhile because they are a soldier.
So, whether it's helping our son cope with a broken marriage, adjusting to weekends with a busy little 3 year old around, or the constant reminder that my two star banner brings - of my children so far away, (but living a good life together)...well, no matter how you look at it, just the sheer joy of being a family...this is a wonderful thing.
May God bless you in the week ahead and may He bless our troops with His loving care.

Time flies when you're having fun....?


Ok, eight days since I've posted - I think that's a record for me. I've been sick...some sort of upper respiratory/sinus infection thing...you know, the kind of thing that makes a woman sound like a man and makes the ribs ache from coughing. I even missed a couple of days of work - if you knew me, you'd know that is just about unheard of.
Scott is still staying with us and it's really a great thing - I think it's been good for him too. He seems content. We sleep much better at night, that's for sure. In the morning when I come out to the kitchen, there are telltale signs that an elf has visited - you know, the cookie sheet and an empty frozen pizza box, or a knife with peanut butter on it, a plate with crumbs on it. And I just smile, take a shower and start my day.
Some of us are counting the days until Wendy's son Jay returns from the sand. It's been a long 15 months...he lost a good good friend while they were there so he is coming home feeling incomplete, I'm sure. Sad.
This year will be the first time in 27 years that we will not see Laurie...and Stephen and Kasey too, at Christmas time. The fares are outrageous...when I think of this it makes me sad, but they are at least stateside. I will be grateful for that all during the holidays.
Cathy is experiencing the joy of having her grand daughter living with her...she is one lucky little girl. Cathy, hoping that Dan and Kat get good jobs soon...haven't visited your site the last couple of days...will do that tomorrow...hoping to see that they are working. How are Gabby and Hans the wonder dog? Blessings my friend. Enjoy every single moment.
That's about it for tonight...0530 comes early so I will say good night. God bless you all and dear Lord...please bless our troops with your love and protection.

Day of remembrance.

We all know that today was an unhappy and tragic anniversary for our nation, but more importantly for those who lost loved ones on 9/11.

It has changed our lives forever...may we never forget those who were lost and the innocence that was lost for our entire nation.

God bless America, our leaders and those who protect her....

Happiness - Inside and Outside.

As Luke sleeps on the couch in the family room, Veronica is sleeping in Laurie's old room and Scott is asleep in his room, Ron and Lilly are also asleep in our room. Saturday morning and this is Scott's first weekend home after being a way for a year of Saturdays....well, only 3 but it seems like 52. Tina has to work today so the kids spent the night and will be here for the day too and I am smiling inside and out. The picture above is of Veronica hugging her daddy when they were reunited. It's been so good to be able to hug him again....I am a hugger, and so when I say to Scott or Ron that I need to hug them, one says to the other, "do you want to catch this one?" Geesh.

Busy weekend I have...cooking and cutting potatoes for the chicken bbq at church, making 3 pies (2 for church, one for the boys), and getting my posters made and hung for my Sunday School classroom. Tomorrow is Rally Day - 1st day of Sunday School. This year I have thirteen 7th and 8th graders....hmmmm, this should be interesting. Our fall topic will be Identity...Spring will be Jesus. I'll also be spending a bit of time at the BBQ tomorrow, but not all day.

Grandparents day tomorrow too. Another day that Hallmark expects young families to buy things while being on shoestring budgets. (But for all you grandparents, Happy Grandparents Day - job well done.) Tee hee.
May your weekend be blessed. Mine already is - with inside and outside happiness.

God bless our troops and those who love them.

If you could know...

Three weeks ago Scott left to go as far as possible from here and the problems that were plagueing his marriage. Ron and I had tried for nearly a month to talk him out of it but he was determined. And so, I decided to accept it and not be angry with him when he left. It just wasn't in me - when would I see him again? If you could know the pieces of my heart that felt like they would never heal.

As he sat on the bus that night, I watched him through the window of the bus station and oh my arms ached wishing I could get on the bus and hug him again. But I did not cry until after the bus pulled out and I had waved one last time before it disappeared taking my only son with it.

For three weeks, I've been missing him, but getting on with life...I think I described it a couple of posts ago - trying to make life count.

Then, Monday, Scott's plans fell apart and he called Tina and said 'I want to come home - NOW.'

And so, this morning, the arms that have been aching for 3 weeks were wrapped around my son. He is back home - he'll live here with us for awhile until he gets his life back. But to see Luke and Veronica hugging him when they got off their school buses today, well, if you could know the joy in seeing this.

Things are not perfect - there are many issues to be worked out between Scott and Tina - we don't know if they will get back together - but we can hope and we can help them with emotional support and love.

There's always love, isn't there? That love teaches us many lessons - some very painful. But then we start to listen to the Teacher...and we follow His path back home.

Welcome home, Scottie. If only you could know my dear son, how much you are loved.

By your family and by our Lord.

Thank you all for your heartfelt prayers for our family - they have been heard - and are being answered.

I feel like I could sleep for a week - that totally restful sleep that you know comes from peace.

God is so good.

Summer over???

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

Day after day, we all have jobs to do. We come from many walks in life - we work each day doing the things God has asked us to do. Outside the home, or as stay at home parents or retirees. Whatever our niche in life is, a rest from the daily routine is welcomed when those rare 3 day weekends come along.
But just as Memorial Day weekend ushers in the summer, so too does Labor Day weekend escort us out. How was your summer? Was it what you hoped for? Did the warm days of sunshine hold true to the plans you had made back in the spring? Back in early March, as I sat here in the family room with my leg elevated and the ice bag ever near my sore and swollen knee, I thought of all the things that we could do this summer. Laurie, Stephen and Kasey would be here, there would be family get togethers with Scott and Tina and Luke and Veronica. It would be a good summer. But of course I could not foresee the things that summer brought. The struggles for Scott and Tina, and their breakup. Scott leaving to go to the other side of the country; and Laurie and Stephen having to sell their new home and move because the Army said so. One of my dearest friends son who is in the sand lost his room mate and co pilot and very good friend. .
No...we do not know what each season will bring. We hope it will bring what we've planned for, but then God knows better and choses something else. It gives us strength and helps us to rely on prayer much more often...and to lean on Him.
And so we will rest on Monday from the work that we do each day. Well, most of us will. For our soldiers, there is never really a day of rest...24/7 they are called upon to do their jobs - a job which at times must seem thankless. But a service with out which we wouldn't know freedom and all it's blessings. This Labor day, thank a soldier even if - no, especially if - it's just a prayer for his or her safety. Maybe not thinking of our own rest as much as thinking of when they will be able to kick their boots off and drink a soft drink...or a beer...and enjoy a hot dog and a scoop of macaroni salad and a slab of watermelon. Now THAT sounds like a fine day for any soldier. God knows they all deserve it.
Summer as we know it may be almost over, but God has many more seasons planned for us. I look forward to spending them with you.
God bless you all with a safe and happy holiday weekend.

Coming to life.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1

On Friday morning, my cousin Lynn stood before a crowded church sanctuary and read these words with a sad but believing heart. Her Dad - my Uncle Ken - knew the meaning of them, and the verse that follows..."a time to be born, a time to die." As you know, my dad's brother passed into Jesus' embrace last week after a six year long illness. His illness, though, did not prevent him from continuing to do the good and gracious things for which we will all remember him. And he didn't do these acts of servanthood - as husband, dad, grandfather, son, brother, uncle and friend - to be verbally remembered as a wonderful man. He did them all to make all of our lives better. His genuine and infectious laugh, the kindnesses he gave to others, the honest enjoyment he got from life. He made his life count. All the while having the assurance of his eternal resting place in heaven when God called him there. Not because of this goodness to others, but because of his faith in the Savior whose death on the cross promises eternal life to all of us who believe.

Making life count - isn't that what we really seek? Not to be heralded as a success, but as faithful. To our families, our friends, and first (not last) to our God.

Yesterday was Scott's birthday - it was kind of a blah day, but I was determined to make it count. When we finally reached him, he sounded a little bit down, first birthday away from home and all, but he was going to spend the day with new friends - that in itself is a blessing. I'd sent him a small box and a card - more will go out this week. I think a corner was turned yesterday - and as Cathy mentioned in one of her comments to me recently: 'things will get easier, but you know that.'

Yes, Cathy, I do know that. And while I am waiting for it to actually get easier, I find that it provides an opportunity to come to life. To make life count. Every day.

In less than two years, I will be retired so I don't have too much time left at work to make things count. I try to do that every day, but some days it's easier than others, and on those "other" days, at least it's not for lack of trying.

This week will be a busy one - our office staff is shrinking rapidly. A promotional exam was offered a few months ago and now all who took the exam are being interviewed for new jobs. Great for them, not so great for our office because the replacement and training process is a long one. What will be will be - and it will all be fine. I love a challenge. (within reason :).

Laurie and Stephen and Kasey are moving this week - courtesy of the Army. Further away, but they have a plan and will do as they always do - go with the flow. I bought them a wall hanging at the county fair a few years ago. "Home is Where the Army Sends Us." It goes from one home to another, and hangs proudly in each new kitchen. This will be the fifth kitchen it's been displayed in.

To our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, home seems far away. And in the homes where their loved ones wait, home is incomplete. But overseas, and here in our nation, God is with us. All at the same time. Giving courage and faith and hope to all of the hearts calling out to Him.

And during all His seasons of time, we are embraced by the goodness of His love.

Embraced by Jesus.

My uncle Ken passed away last night - he was 76, my dad's second youngest brother, and an awesome man. But God in His grace and mercy called him to be there with Him and out of the pain and suffering Uncle Ken was experiencing here. The older I get, the more I realize that this is what we are all looking forward to - the Hope we have in eternity. Of course, we all would like to live long lives, see our kids and grandkids grow up and be happy. Uncle Ken realized all of this, and is resting now with Jesus.
And on another note...14 soldiers died today in Iraq. My friend Wendy, well her son is a pilot over there and the sinking feeling our military mom sisters felt with this news was felt by many. But then, as quickly as the fear came, so too did our faith. And the meaning of Paul's "prayers without ceasing" was ever clear. I pray that these soldiers also knew the embrace of our Lord much stronger than their fear.
Wendy - God be with you today as you wait to hear from your soldier. He is OUR soldier too.
And may He comfort all those families today receiving the visits and hearing the news a military family fears most. You are not alone - I promise you. And your soldier will never be forgotten.
Peace, my friends.

Old habits die hard.

It's been five days since Scott left and old habits seem to die hard. He still calls us every night. I'm not sure if he needs the connection or if he thinks WE need the connection but he's learned that talking to mom and dad isn't a bad thing at all. He doesn't seem to think of it as obligatory. And that means a lot. He calls because he wants to talk to us. That's a cool thing, don't ya think?
Ron's not in a good place with all of this right now - men see things differently. Oh, don't get me wrong - Scott wasn't right in what he did. But a mom's heart never gives up - never stops believing in her child. And a Christian mom never stops trusting that her child is in God's hands.
The weekend was difficult - Veronica was here a lot and to look at her, well it's like looking at her daddy when he was 3 - their expressions, mannerisms, and everything about their faces are mirror images of one another. Scott was always off on Saturday and we'd spend time together. We really missed him this past weekend and since his birthday is this weekend....hmmm, that won't be too much fun either. But he is happy and healthy, so I am thankful for that. It will be a different kind of birthday (or "birth" day) for us all.
The work week is going to be a busy one for sure - classes begin next Monday - another fall semester underway. They go fast - I have the semesters til my retirement counted. Five - count them, five, well actually five and a half. I don't have the number of days counted out yet. Teehee.
And then we can travel to see the kids whenever we feel like it. I like the thought of that.
In the meantime, the phone calls will continue - To Laurie and Stephen and now to Scott too. Need to share the calls because the long distance bills won't be easy if we don't.
Thanks for listening - praying that your Tuesday (or whatever day you are reading this) will be blessed.
God bless our troops and those who wait.

Leaving the light on.

Sometimes, when I think of all the things my mom and dad did for us as kids, one of the nicest and comforting things was that they left the porch light on for us when we were out at night. It made it so much easier for our friends dads and moms to find the house late at night - we could always say, 'There! It's the one with the light on.'
Scott left last night with a one way ticket headed west. It wasn't an easy time but I didn't cry at the bus station. God knows there have been tears enough to fill an ocean - no, make that TWO oceans - the past several weeks. But in the end, although he is leaving home and family, this trip will be something that will make a profound difference in his life. I can't explain it - wish so bad that I could, just know that he will be back after he figures things out. A mom knows these things - not because she is fooling herself into thinking this, she just knows.
And so, that light will be burning - not in the literal sense but figuratively. The light of hope doesn't go out when your kids are out of sight - it's just that you miss them so much that it feels like it will never shine again.
He just called - the usual nightly phone call, but oh tonight it was anything but ritual. He had adventures to share about the trip...said that I packed so many chocolate chip cookies that he shared them with other travelers. :) Dear Lord, I miss him so. But the light is brighter than it was an hour ago. And it was a good way to end the day.
In a little while, when I finally get some sleep, I will be thanking God for the night light He gave me with Scott's phone call. If I wake in the darkness, it'll be ok. Really it will.
Thank you Jesus.
God bless our troops.

I wonder if God is trying to tell me something?

It's been over a week since I've been here...and trust me when I say that the week hasn't been an easy one for any of our family members. In a few days, Scott will be gone - across the country and about as far away as he could get.
This morning's epistle lesson was from Hebrews 11 - the faith chapter. Verse one:
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I guess God is trying to tell me something because He brought that verse to mind a few weeks ago when Scott's plan first came to light. There have been tears enough to fill an ocean, angry words spoken, loving words spoken as well.
And now, the week looms ahead...well, it looks waaay too rough but it's a path we have to travel because as someone once said, time marches on.
And so, both of our children will be farther away than I'd ever imagined. Ron and I will do our utmost to keep Scott in the picture for Veronica - and we will be praying that somehow it will all work out.
Then of course there is another scripture verse from Romans 8:28 -
'And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God.'
I think it's been a long time since Scott has had a conversation with God - but his mom has been in daily touch from the moment I knew we were going to have a child all those years ago. Now "daily" touch isn't enough and so I will work on that every moment of every day for the rest of my life - however long God ordeigns that will be.
Thank you for your faithful prayers and for being with me in this journey. Any military mom knows that the road we travel needs to be taken one day at a time. When I wrote my very first post more than 13 months ago, I said that it's not just about the soldiers - but about their siblings as well. It's never an easy path - no matter what. But it's also never a journey we take alone.
Thanks for the company.
God bless you - and God bless our troops.

Face it.

My last post told you about Scott and Tina - their struggle, and of course the ripple effect on this mother's heart. It's not getting any better, and they've made the decision to separate. Scott has, in fact, accepted a job out of state and will be leaving in a week or two. It's so hard to imagine Scott not being here...impossible to imagine that no one will answer when Veronica calls out for "dadee." But he isn't leaving to abandon her, this is something he has agonized over and yet feels that he must do.
And I am facing it - (she says with conviction). Well, at least I am coming to terms with it. As I have told Ron...and my dearest friends...when Laurie left for the military 9 years ago, I thought I was going to die. For a whole year, as she was on delayed entry, all I could think about was that Laurie was leaving home. But I didn't die - actually, we have been blessed. She is a very happy young woman - a wife, and a mom, and oh yes, a soldier too. And so I need to remember that as Scott prepares to move across the country. I will not die. My heart might crumble in a few spots, but I will be ok. Eventually. Because Scott will be ok, and he won't be gone forever. I have a friend Cathy who lost her son last year. She blogs and I know that some days she gets through by putting one foot in front of the other and trusts the Lord to keep them on the path. She has a mountain top faith and she is very honest about missing her son. We don't know if the hurt will ever go away, but we know that He is working on our hearts every moment of every day to make it better.
A good friend of mine passed away this weekend. She was 80, the mom of one of my dearest friends, and a sister in Christ. She has suffered a long time and so deserves the Victory feast that she's enjoying now. I'll miss her, but knowing where she is now, it would be selfish to want her back. I cannot imagine anything in this world greater than seeing face to face what, as Paul wrote, we only see dimly now.
Times like these happen to us all - sometimes it seems like everything happens at one time...or one thing after another. They often seem like a bitter pill to swallow. I know the feeling.
Each and every day though, God helps me to remember what He asked His Son to do. His Son who had never sinned, never did an unkind thing, only worked and lived, taught and ministered to throngs of people who would eventually be the ones to help nail Him to the cross. Jesus. He asked to be spared that cup - and yet prayed that His Father's will be done. In church this morning I ate the body and drank the blood of Jesus...not a bitter pill, but rather redemption because by God's grace, I have faith in this man Jesus. A saving faith - however tiny on those really really bad days, He has ordained that it is big enough.
And, also by God's grace, we are given the blessing to bear all things through Christ. To face it and be reconciled to these things He asks us to bear. For we do not bear these burdens alone.
This faith that He has given us - well, it keeps the light on in our hearts and helps us to wait for the answers to our prayers. We know that, in His time, each one will be answered.
God bless our troops and those of us who wait.
Sue

Substance.

"Now Faith is the substance of all things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen."
Hebrews 11:1

It's been five days since I've been here - oh I've been here and tried to post, (there are three drafts that I have to get rid of) but for the situation our family is in, every time I started to type, the words felt terribly inadequate. Last night, I was emotionally drained and knew that nothing would sound right so I did an online jigsaw puzzle and went to bed. And prayed myself to sleep.
You see, two of our children, Scott and Tina, are having a very rough time of it and I feel so helpless. My prayers feel so feeble. I literally sobbed all the way home yesterday, and "talked it out" with our Father. Some days I can do the work thing, travel to and from work and not cry a single tear. Then there are days like yesterday when I crossed out many of the things on my to do list (accomplished), but barely managed to get to the car after work before I just let it out. In the end, when I got home, there was just sadness and helplessness.
And still, when I think of the above Scripture verse - one which I memorized years and years ago, I am assured of one thing. God, in His divine wisdom, has given us the knowledge that try as we may, it's not up to us. Not at all. BUT, He doesn't prevent us from insisting that it is in our hands. It's the human nature thing. That's what gives our faith the truest test. Back and forth, back and forth - You can take it from me, God...no wait, not yet. We say we are strong in our faith and yet, we don't trust it all to Jesus. I love Jesus, but it's so darned hard to trust Him with these things. Oh I do trust my eternity to Him, and wouldn't you think that I could trust to Him the most precious blessings God has given to me - my children - as well? When Laurie and Stephen were deployed, I think most people at work were surprised that I wasn't a basket case. Well. at least not on the outside. It was because, once I got through the initial terror and anxiety, I realized that THEY were trusting that I was trusting them to the Lord...and rarely did I take them back from Him. I did occasionally, but mostly I knew that wouldn't do any good at all - especially for the kids.
And now, when the tears have been shed (and there will be many more I am sure) , and the disbelief becomes reality, and every moment throughout, there will still be the comfort of Hebrews 11:1 - God's Word and my faith through God's grace. He's gotten me 60 years into this life, so who am I to let things change now?
His grace - more and more He is teaching me that it is sufficient for us all. I just need to remember that from moment to moment on each and every day.
May our troops - and those who wait - feel His love and strength and may it give them courage.
Blessings my friends.

Little things mean a lot.

Well, we are slowly getting used to the fact that Kasey took his mommy and daddy home yesterday. But oh, getting up this morning was tough. No little feet running in the house shouting the things that 2 year olds like to shout first thing in the morning when mommies and daddies are still trying to catch those last 40 winks. No good morning hug from Laurie. Most of you know what I mean. When we got home from the airport yesterday, I walked around the house looking for the little things they usually leave behind. A sock or bib or toy. No deal - Laurie packed EVERYTHING. Kasey packed all his toys - he was so cute running around the house the other night - gathering all of his cars and trucks. The books and magazines that he arranged on the coffee table in the family room to serve as the race course for his cars are still exactly where he left them. When I dust the table next week - I will have to move them, but next week is soon enough. The room that Laurie and Stephen slept in is neat as a pin - and Kasey's room...well...it looks like a little boy slept there. This is good. I will leave it that way for awhile yet...and then put it back the way it was before they got here. :(
Today, there is the family reunion at my cousin's cottage. We all decided we should have a cousin's reunion while at my cousin Tina's funeral luncheon. Most of our parents - my mom and dad, and my aunts and uncles, are gone now. But I am really looking forward to seeing my cousins and catching up - got the pasta cooking right now for a casserole of good old fashioned mac and cheese. We are supposed to take a dish to pass, meat for grilling if we want to (not me - with all those yummy pot luck dishes, I can forego the hot dogs), and any alcoholic beverages we would like to take. They will provide the soft drinks - sounds good to me. It's less to carry and to remember one dish and my purse when I leave the picnic is a very easy thing. Ron won't be going with me, but I know where the lake is, so I won't get lost getting out there (she says with confidence).
As I get back into my routine next week, I'll be missing the kids. Little things mean a lot - and even though there weren't any little things left behind, when I go from room to room, oh the memories of yet another wonderful time with my soldiers and their little man.
God bless your weekend everyone, and may He bless our troops.
Sue

Starting to get those "see you again soon" blues.

In just a few days, my little Kasey and his mommy and daddy will be heading out again. Not good for THIS grandma and grandpa - in fact my eyes are tearing up already at the thought of it. SO, what's a grandma to do? Well, this morning we went out for pancakes and eggs, we went to an RV dealer where Kasey went through every RV with an open door (so did all the adults with him). Then we took a slow drive home and stopped for ice cream. The kids - including a very tired Kasey - are up taking a nap right now. I have a turkey in the oven with homemade stuffing and we will have all the trimmings to go with it. Scott and Tina and Luke and Veronica will be coming over as well so this will be holiday meal that we never get to eat together. Veronica will stay the night so she can have some extra time with her cousin. I don't think anybody will get much sleep tonight - and it's perfectly alright with this grandma if I don't sleep two winks. (One wink would be good, though).
As time winds down on this wonderful visit with the kids, I am thinking more and more about the days when my job won't keep us here...a time when we can get in our RV and go wherever God takes us - where Laurie and Stephen happen to be stationed or, God willing, where Scott and Tina and the kids are living. A day when we can say, "see you soon" and know that those words are true - not just an easier way of saying "goodbye."
I'll probably be pretty busy the next few days and may not check in. Just know that I am thinking of you and praying for those you love who serve and for all of the troops - my own two precious soldiers included.
Blessings,
Sue

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Yesterday we went to a State Park about an hour away from us. Took the canoe, the fishing poles, some homemade macaroni salad and some hot dogs. And of course the family went along to boot, including Lilly (she slept like a baby last night and is still sleeping. It will take her days to get over the outing. Funny doggie.
So the kids - little and big - went canoeing and swimming and fishing and had a wonderful time. And grandma just sat and watched and smiled. And played referee with Veronica and Kasey sometimes. They really are cute together.

Got a little sunburn on my face but mostly freckles. :)

This will be a more difficult week than last because the kids are going home. We probably won't see them again until Christmastime - you know the drill if you are in a military family. Hope it doesn't rain today - want to play some more kickball with Kasey in the back yard.

There are other things on my heart this week besides Laurie, Stephen and Kasey returning home. Scott and Tina need to iron things out about a lot of issues - I've tried to stay happy and not let it affect my mood with having Kasey and his mommy and daddy here, but let's face it - I gave birth to two children and one of them is hurting right now. It's something our whole family is feeling. Stephen was the first person I told - we can talk about a lot of things and I am grateful to have that with a son in law. I didn't want the bad news to interfere with their stay, but didn't want to break it to Laurie over the phone. We give her too much bad news on the phone.

If it's not one thing, it's another.
Ron is grocery shopping - yet again. Funny. We were supposed to go to a theme park today but we are having thunderstorms so we are putting it off til tomorrow or Thursday. Yesterday was worth a thousand memories - we have more yet to make.

Thank you, Lord.

Blessings to you my friends.

Complete.

Woke up this morning to a wonderful thing - a full house. Kasey (oh, and his mommy and daddy) arrived this past weekend. We were so anxious for that day to get here...and then it seemed like forever before they got here. But they finally arrived and when we saw Laurie and Stephen, we saw Kasey as well - not being carried, but walking along with his little back pack on wheels. He knew us right away - big grin from ear to ear as soon as he saw Ron and I. And he knew us...oh I said that already didn't I? Well, it's just so great because it's been 6 months since we last saw him and that's a long time in the life of a two year old (almost forever for a grandma and grandpa).

So they are here - and this morning's menu is French Toast. Kasey is sleeping in a big boy's bed now so Laurie's bed is pushed up against the wall and has a quilt stuffed there just in case he moves around a lot. We don't want him to get caught between the bed and the wall. We also bought a bedrail for the other side of the bed so he won't fall out. There is a little potty seat in the bathroom (Sponge Bob Square Pants) (it's been awhile since we had one of those). I must say that Kasey is the perfect example of "snips and snails and puppy dog tails." He is inquisitive and happy and LOVES to play outside and swing on the swing in our back yard (high gamma).

Laurie and Stephen look great. I loved watching them in the back yard last night - with Kasey.

The glow is still there - Laurie just lights up when she is with Stephen. Good for a mom's eyes to see since we live so far apart.

So today is get out the wading pool day - whewwww, sure is hot here. Then we will go to the playground and do whatever else they want to do. Tomorrow Laurie and I will go shopping for food and party stuff for the luau party we are having in the back yard this weekend. It's been awhile since we've had a party - I'd say that it's just about time.

Ask me if I am happy....and thankful too. God has truly blessed us. And absence truly DOES make the heart grow fonder.

May God bless all of our troops - and those who love them.

It may be a few days before I get back here...but all of you soldier moms and grandmas understand.

Blessings my friends.

Sue

On Saturday afternoon, as I was sitting in the garage during the garage sale, I happened to glance at the bookshelves full of books Ron was trying to sell. He belongs to a military book club so there are always plenty of military books lying around. One of them - American Soldier, by General Tommy Franks, I had been meaning to read for about two years - just never got around to it. So, I picked it out of the many books and began reading. It's going to be a page turner.In the prologue, General Franks talks about the beginning of the Afghanistan war against the Taliban which began in October of 2001, and of course, the order he received to move into Iraq in March, 2003. After reading only two or three pages in this book, so many memories came flooding back. Where we’ve been. And where we are today.
My favorite subject in school was American History. Mr. McClure, my teacher, was an awesome guy. He was pretty young, but not a brand new teacher. During that year, I would learn that he was fair, dedicated, and was proud to be teaching the history of our nation. I think maybe that’s where I truly realized the goodness of living in America and stopped taking it for granted as young kids do. We had been through a lot for a young nation. And would go through much more as the years went on.
As the days of that American History class went on, the troops began to build in a country called South Vietnam. A young man in my class would die in battle just a few years later in Vietnam. And a young sailor, whose ship was hit off the coast of Vietnam, would someday be my husband - and would instill the pride he has for our country in our daughter Laurie, and she would become the first of two stars in the blue star banner hanging in my window. She would bring us to know what pride is all about - not just our pride in her and Stephen as their parents, but pride in all who serve. And thanks for those who serve beside them.
Fast forward to July 4th, 2007. Our nation has come through 9/11, and we still battle those who think terrorism is far better than freedom. But our young people - men and women alike - continue to fight for this nation born from 13 colonies and a group of men and women just as willing to stand up for Independence.
They are the ones - past and present - who we celebrate this day - and the ones we mourn for in their sacrifices made.
America, America, God shed His grace on thee.
God bless our troops.