Sunday, April 10, 2011

DARN IT. Guess I Can Use the Yarn After All.



About a week ago, Stephen came home from work and announced that Laurie wouldn't be deployed after all.
I RAN across the kitchen to the living room, where Stephen was standing by the couch.  I screamed, and cried, and hugged Stephen as he laughed, and hugged me back. It seems that someone in Stephen's new brigade, a COL, hadn't given up on it once he heard about it when Stephen was transferred there.  He had gone all the way to the top to have Laurie's deployment reversed, and told Stephen's platoon Captain that it was successful and to let Stephen know - which he did.  Because Stephen said that it was "as 100 percent certain as the Army gets, we told Scott and Vi, we told my younger sister, and our closest friends.  When Laurie returned home from officer training last weekend, we hugged her and told her how thankful we were that she was going to stay at home.  Don't get me wrong - Laurie has never shirked her duty, and we wouldn't want her to....it's just not in her.  But a legitimate change in orders and transfer to a different company was not shirking her duty - it was about several officers from Stephen's brigade trying to keep a family together for a year who hadn't had a full year together in over 4 years.  As Laurie hugged us back, she said not to count on it since her company didn't know about it yet and she didn't know if it would go through.   I didn't blog about it here or at Living A Dream because after 13 years of riding this roller coaster, I'm never quite sure of the guy in the station who controls the car we're riding in.  Know what I mean?  Is he going to listen to his own instincts or to the quiet voice telling  him to stop the ride for a little while because it's been going up and down too often?

So I had all this yarn I had purchased to make Laurie an afghan for her deployment - to wrap around her when she gets cold, or tired....or lonely for home.  And now, with Laurie not deploying, I had this wonderful dilemma about who to make an afghan for....several suggestions to me were a home for abused women, or for a nursing home - someone disadvantaged.

Laurie came home on Thursday after running errands, and checking on some things over on post.  She wasn't in the door 30 seconds when her cell rang.  She looked at the caller ID, and ran upstairs to take the call.  This was my first inkling that we were about to find out some news...and something told me it wasn't going to be happy news.  A few minutes later I heard her talking to Ron, and then she came downstairs to the kitchen where I was getting dinner ready to put in the oven.  
It seems that the 100% as sure as the Army gets turned out to be 50/50.  There is another Army officer also trying to get his orders reversed for the same reasons, and since he out ranks Laurie, it will probably swing in his favor.
Therefore, we are in preparation mode, this time for Laurie.  We were so disappointed for the kids, and for Kasey. And, okay, for us too.  Sending our little girl to such a strange place will not be easy - especially for Ron.  Alright, for me as well.  But I will use the time ahead to make sure every moment we have before she deploys is as easy as it can be. I don't know when she leaves, but it will be too soon. And every day she is over there I will keep as busy as I can trying to make it pass quickly for us all.  Every thought of her will be a prayer - for all of us.
So the dilemma about the afghan isn't as wonderful as it was, but that I CAN do this for my little girl is a blessing to me.  Now I will decide on the pattern, and knit every moment I can when she is at work during the day.  And at night after she has gone to bed.  It will be one of those gifts that I can't watch her open because it won't be done before she leaves. And even though she probably will have to leave it behind when her deployment is over because of baggage space, leaving it for someone else will be her way of  letting someone else know that they are in good hands. The hands of our Father.
I am so hoping that when this afghan is around her shoulders, she will feel not just the love between a mom and a daughter, but the prayers of a mom as well.  That she will know each knit or purl is a prayer.

Dear Lord, let her not only feel my love for her, but YOUR love which is stronger and mightier than any love.