Not Just An Ordinary Weekend.

It's only a little after 8 on Saturday morning - I was wide awake at 6am (sigh) and we are waiting for a wind storm to move in for the weekend - or at least for most of today.  As we watch the lush green leaves on the trees in our back yard moving a little more with each passing hour, I know that Laurie is upstairs on her computer waiting for a Skype call from Stephen.  Kasey is still sound asleep, but we'll hear his feet hit the floor pretty soon and the weekend will officially begin.
Graduation party today, church and a pot luck afterwards tomorrow, and just a laid back kind of weekend.
But not just an ordinary weekend.
Prayers for the families of all who have loved and lost sons and daughters, husbands and wives, moms and dads, brothers and sisters during their service to our nation ~ during war, in peace, and without regret.  And prayers for those who still serve and those who love them.
It's not an easy thing they do, but when I thanked a soldier the other day in Safeway - he was just back from Afghanistan - they are proud to do it. "Thank you, ma'am, but it's what we do."
To which I replied, 'Oh, yes, and you do it SO well.'

God bless America - and those who keep her free.    

Journey's End.

So here we are.  A year has passed - no wait,  it took11 months, 16 days, 12 hours - but finally, Laurie's deployment is over.  When the 200 soldiers came marching into the welcome facility last week one night at 9 o'clock,  we had already seen the video of the plane's approach, landing, and being directed in by the ground crew.  Then we saw the steps being rolled up, and the welcome committee and band gathered at the bottom of the steps.  The soldiers each descended the stairs and went down the line shaking hands with the welcome committee.  And only a few soldiers into the welcome, we saw our dear soldier daughter going through the line.  Her smile was unmistakable and unwavering as she greeted each person.  It would be another hour before the welcome home ceremony at the post, but she was home.  Her boots were on the ground. And just moments later, my cell phone rang and there was so much noise in the welcome home center that I didn't recognize Laurie's voice.  Until she finally said, "It's your daughter."  LOL But for the first time in a long long time, there was no delay between our questions and answers. She was calling from the place they'd gone to after the plane landed and wanted to know where we were sitting so she could find us when the welcome ceremony was ended.  She could see us from where she was, and watched us as we got ready to greet them all. She told me, "Mom, just stay where you are seated and I will come to you because it will be a madhouse," 
Now you may have heard about or experienced welcome home ceremonies for our troops.  If you haven't, let me just say there are no words to tell of the joy....of the tears that fill your eyes when Lee Greenwood's Proud To Be An American comes over the speakers - the room full of family and friends knowing that a set of double doors and a few soldiers who stand there waiting to open them are all that keep a battalion of soldiers from marching in.  And then the machine that makes the dust come out in a cloud begins doing just that as the doors open and xxx number of soldiers come marching through the doors.  I cannot tell you how earnestly the loved ones standing and cheering look for the face they love so much in that line up of soldiers.  Nor can I tell you of the pride - not just in being the loved one of an American soldier, but in being an American who loves ALL of our troops. When we turn toward the huge American flag for the National Anthem with our hands over our hearts....THIS is America.  The troops, the signs, the wives and moms and dads, and the kids dressed in their red, white, and blue waiting for their chance to see mommy or daddy or Uncle Joe or Aunt Jane.  And to see your husband cry unashamedly because his (our) little girl is home and the fear has been lifted from  his heart.
The journey - it would be 11 months, 16 days, and 12 hours from the moment we kissed and hugged her goodbye that early morning last year when she reported for deployment. Who's counting?   I am...... grateful for every moment because the journey that began from here also ended with hugs and tears and the knowledge that our prayers last year when she left for God's Grace and Mercy have once again been answered, and given to our family in rich supply. 
Ron, tenderhearted Dad that he is, well, let's just say that the pictures of him included below tell the story of how he felt.  One of the many reasons I love that man.  His tender heart.
And Kasey - well, sometimes a picture really DOES say a thousand words...and in much better ways than this grandma ever could.  
It's been over a week since Laurie arrived and while she is thankful to be home, there is one person who is missing - Stephen.  Laurie is taking it all in stride, at least on the outside.....but on the inside?  One can only guess. I pray for strength for Laurie's little family - and for Ron and I as well.  We have lots of time remaining before his boots hit the ground here at home, but we can only pray and trust and leave him in the Lord's hands. 
But then, for all the journeys our soldiers have taken, God's Grace and Mercy have been with them - and with us.

Thank you for all of your prayers for my children - and for all of us.  We are so grateful to know that we are not alone.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Saturday, when I got home from a workshop at church, there was a large box sitting on the kitchen table.  I knew what it was - a box from Afghanistan - some of Laurie's things that she was sending home because, well, she is getting ready to re-deploy back to the states.  In the box, some of Laurie's favorite things she had over there.  Things she had taken with her, some were items she had Stephen send a month or two before she left while she was in officer training in TX, and others we had sent in the many care packages mailed in the last xx number of months.  Movies she watched on her computer when she wasn't working, or doing homework, or during the long nights when she WAS working but not busy.  There were a few things in the bottom of the box that ~ as soon as I spotted them ~ brought tears to my eyes.  I saw the little square  Valentine with the simple message on the back from Kasey...."Dear Mom, I love you, Love, Kasey'....in the legible printing of a first grade boy.  Then I saw the silver bracelet with the Lord's prayer on it - which even though Laurie couldn't wear, she kept close....this a gift from my sister Chelle, who had sent one to Laurie, and to myself, and kept one for herself.  I have worn this bracelet nearly every single day....have removed it countless times to make a meatloaf, or to do the dishes, or help Kasey with his bath.  But when I crawl into bed at night, it's always on the bathroom vanity next to my hearing aids so in the morning, I read it in prayer, and slip it over my left hand. Chelle, you don't know how much love you gave me in that bracelet.  And I thank you - and God - every time I put it on my wrist. And then I picked up the third item that was so special.  It was a small pewter stone that I purchased at the Renaissance Festival during the summer.  On the stone was written one word - Princess.  Now THAT made me cry.  And I mean CRY. 
When it began, this deployment was so difficult to think about, and instead of thinking of it as a year, I took it one day at a time - often one hour, one minute at a time.  When I go to bed at night I ask the Lord for a safe day for my children - all of them. Here,and  in Buffalo, and over there, where Laurie is. And now where Stephen is also. When I get up in the morning, I ask for a safe night's sleep for Laurie and Stephen, and a good day for Scott and Vi too.  Not to mention Luke, and Veronica, and Kasey.  And so, at first, we kind of trudged through the days here at home.  Stephen like a fish out of water because Laurie was deployed instead of himself.   But we soon got into our routines and the days began to pass quickly. Laurie came home for R and R during the Christmas holidays and things seemed normal again....for a little while.
Once Stephen received his deployment orders, things moved quickly, and now we count the days on two calendars (mentally, that is), both for the safe return of our soldiers.
So in looking at all of these things in a big box, I realized that this year has been one which I never could have imagined.  When Laurie left, I was lost.  A mom can't explain what goes through her heart and mind when her daughter goes to war, and then her daughter's husband too.
But in receiving that package, and in thinking about the past year, I realize that God had His plans for me too.  Not just cooking and cleaning and taking care of two men and a boy and the dogs.  But rather receiving a gift far greater than I could have imagined.....the open door to our new church.  To a strengthened faith, new friends,  and the reality that when your child leaves for over there, faith IS what will get a person through.  And of course all of you and your prayers.  We still need them, please. 

Faith, family, friends.
These are a few of my favorite things.....and I would have to bet that even though as a mom and daughter Laurie and I haven't always agreed about everything....those three of our favorite things are the same.
Thanks for stopping by - God's blessings to you all.

The Weeks of Easter.




When Lent began on Ash Wednesday, our Pastor (who is awesome) asked us to give up a few things.
Oh, we could give up the usual things like chocolate, or sweets, etc., but especially, he asked us to give up our anxieties, sadness, guilt, and sin.  Maybe because of this, and with God's help, this Lent and Easter season has been more meaningful than I can ever remember.  I've shared this with Ron and with some of my church family, but since you also know me, it was important to share it with you as well.

Admittedly, there were moments during those 40 days that I truly struggled with this.  Stephen would be leaving before Easter.  With Laurie still over there, my prayers were for her as she thought,  in a war zone, about her husband's deployment. As her mom I struggled with what she must be feeling. But on that day, when Stephen hugged us goodbye, (and as I wanted to keep holding on to him) the prayer I had been praying for weeks, (Please, Lord, let this happen without tears), was answered.  There were no tears until after he left, and they were not in front of Kasey. A few days  later, Laurie Skyped to say that the powers that be (thank you LORD) had managed for them to be able to spend some time together.  On Easter morning, they were still together.

The joy of Easter goes past that one Sunday after Good Friday.  The joy continues, and I am realizing more and more that the sadness, guilt, anxieties, and sin for which Jesus died are still ours- still mine -  to give up every single day. Not just during 40 days of the church year.  They ALL died on the cross with God's Son.
Moms worry - even Mary probably worried about Jesus....but they are calmed in the peace He brings to us. No matter what hurts or joys lie upon our hearts, God sees them....and hears them in our prayers, and brings us dear and wonderful Christian friends who pray with us, and who hug us in Christian love. He helps us past our own thoughts to hear and pray for what is on their hearts as well.  Not just the anxieties, but the joys too!  

Praying that His peace will also be in the hearts of our military men and women who are in the midst of war.  Or who are about to be in the midst of war - and in the hearts of those who love them. 
Every single day He helps me to realize more and more that Easter joy is not just a feeling..it is a blessed reality.
May you know this too.

Does Time REALLY Heal All Wounds?




So we've nearly come to the time for favorite meals and last minute lists -  of making sure questions are asked, and answered, and for a Dad to reassure his son that he will be careful when he is getting the bad guys.  
And for two soldiers and their son to SKYPE once or twice more as a threesome.
In less than a year, our other soldier will be back home. 
This is OUR plan, and we pray it is God's plan as well.
Now I know that God does not give us a spirit of fear...but rather courage.  And we know that His angels are all around us - resting on our shoulders, and helping us to feel His peace in our hearts.   So, we can know that when we call on His name, He hears us. And we hear Him as well - in the quiet of the night, or  when we are in battle.  You know, the everyday battles that most of us deal with.  Or in the battles that our nation's bravest and finest are asked to wage in a place far away from their home soil.
Laurie will be home soon - thank you, Lord.  And in time, our Stephen will be home as well.  I thank God for the trust we can have in Him. And that it's okay to be worried too.  He understands our hearts and our fears.

Hebrews 11:1:
"Now Faith is the substance of all things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen."

So maybe time doesn't heal all wounds, but the Faith He gives us DOES give us the hope that at the end of a certain period of time, our hearts are healed of the worry, and joy and thanksgiving are left in it's place.

He's got this one too.
Thank you, Lord.

Passing the Baton.

                                               Stephen, Skyping with Laurie, and the smiles that always pass between them.




How does a mom rejoice in the upcoming return of her child, her daughter, (okay, she's our baby), when you know that before she comes home, a dearly loved son in law will deploy to the same hell that his wife is in right now?  How do we do this?

The phone rang the other day,  and when I picked it up, I heard Laurie's name, and then something about contact number.  I asked the person to repeat what she was saying, and my heart was in my throat.  All I heard was contact number, Laurie's name, and "is that correct?"   I said that yes, they had the correct number and that I was Laurie's mom.  She told me that she had a date for an information meeting about Laurie's unit returning.  I don't think my heart started beating again until I was off the phone, staring at the information I had written down.  And then I realized what the meeting is for - and I said a quiet 'thank you, Lord.'  Quiet because I think our voice is sometimes heard better when we speak quietly.  The fear that had gripped me only a moment before gave way to my quiet prayer of thanks.
Stephen and Laurie will miss each other by a matter of weeks.  When I think of embracing her in that welcome home ceremony, my heart just bursts with  happiness.  But I would give all of that up if only Stephen could be there.  Instead, we will be embracing him goodbye just days before we welcome Laurie,.
Can I tell you how my heart aches for them?  For Kasey?  For all of us?
And can I tell you of my pride, without sounding like I am boasting? 
I will never understand all of this war thing, but I have never been an objector and never will be. I am, simply, a mom who loves her children.  And my pride does not feel  boastful.  It's simply what they are willing to do  to see that the baton is passed....and they will (prayerfully) safely run the race and pass the baton to someone else when their time in that place is done and on and on until they all come home. I have crawled onto the lap of our Father many times, and it's a good place to be - especially when stuff seems like it's closing in. I could say that I haven't ever prayed this hard, but there were times when, as a young man, Scott was very ill; and when Violet was near death a year ago from her Crohn's disease, or when....well, you get the picture. 
And all of my prayers were answered at those times with God's grace and mercy. I have no doubt they will be answered in that way again. They are feeble prayers compared to the power of the name I call on.
But I know He hears each and every one.
Awesome, isn't it?

Rough Around The Edges







Stephen will be home soon from his pre-deployment training.  It's been 3 weeks and all has gone well here - Kasey has been very good - getting up well on these dark winter mornings, bringing pillow and favorite blanket down to the couch to watch some Animal Planet for a few minutes until his breakfast is ready.  He is a creature of habit - a tiny little man who knows exactly what he wants.  And always please and thank yous. Church and Sunday School are now a regular part of his week - he loves it.   And I love that he can be sitting between Ron and I every Sunday and receiving a blessing when Ron and I are taking communion.  We've settled into a nice routine here and he seems glad to have grandma and grandpa around.
Well, MOST of the time.

Yesterday, though, was a bit difficult.  He had had a long weekend from school due to (grand) parent/teacher conferences.  Mine was to be on Thursday, but Thursday morning we woke up to a winter wonderland and the school canceled all conferences and kept the staff at home.  So we used the day to have breakfast at IHOP,  to do our errands, get Kasey a much needed haircut, and also grocery shopping at the commissary.  Shopping at the Commissary is an adventure.  We always try (but aren't usually successful) to shop on any day but military paydays.  (unfortunately, those are usually the days we get my pension or social security direct deposits).  Fridays and Saturdays are also bad.  And lunch time too - get the picture? 
Anyway, we were really busy but I think Kasey missed the structure of school (but I'm sure that he doesn't realize this..:-).   So yesterday, Kasey and I had a little chat and the rest of our day was awesome.  After all, we all have bad days once in awhile - even kids do.  Especially soon to be 7 year old boys with two parents in the military.
Rough patches are okay once in awhile.  It makes you think, and sit, and talk to one another. And what can help a grandma and her little boy realize respect for one another more than quiet talks with an I love you or two thrown in for extra measure?  He, ummm we, are going to need a lot of those I love yous in the weeks and months ahead.  Not to mention the prayers.  Lots of those too.

I think we've got this one - it's not in our hands anyway, right?
Thank you for that, Lord.