BOO!

Trick or treat!
Hi - it's been awhile - I think I have writer's block or something. Just can't get into the swing of things these days. There's so much going on - at home, at work...on my mind and in my heart. Today being Halloween, I didn't dress up as in years past...had some ideas last night but no Halloween makeup and our corner store was closed - so I didn't wear a costume. It felt weird. Last year I was some sort of clown - my "clown hair" sticking from underneath my hat was put together with brightly colored curling ribbon and Ron's coveralls did just fine for my pants - his favorite flannel shirt with the holes in the sleeves - well, let's just say I understand now why it's his favorite....just really comfortable. I love driving to work in my costume - it's interesting because everyone is so busy driving and cutting in and changing lanes that they don't even notice that the person sitting behind the wheel in the car next to them has a bright red rubber nose and a plastic cigar tucked behind their ear. People are in such a hurry these days.
So anyway, this year, I don't know. Call it weariness or something - I just wasn't into it. Scott and Tina's separation is wearing on my heart these days - and on my mind too. I'm angry, sad, confused, and just plain tired of trying to figure how two people who seemed so in love could let it get away. Please understand that I am grateful to have Scott here after what we went through in August when he went so far away - it just takes some getting used to.
I was talking to a friend yesterday(you know who you are :) and she was telling me that her life has changed drastically also, having separated from her husband. But she has a new Friend now - she is seeking our Father and the more she talks with Him, the more comfortable it is for her. That's kind of the way things happen - we can be in the deepest valleys, but somehow God lifts us up and although we may not feel like we are on a mountain top, we know that we are safe and being taken care of. And we know that this too - whatever it may be - shall pass.
I guess my writer's block is chipping away - it feels good to be back.
Tonight, as we sit in the "sticks" with only two trick or treaters - Princess Veronica and King Something Luke (a character from one of Luke's video games) - having rung our doorbell, I am feeling kind of nostalgic. Years ago, when Scott and Laurie were Luke and Veronica's age, it was always hectic around here on halloween. Now, they are the parents and it's funny - what goes around comes around: "You can't eat all that candy now - you won't have any left when you get home." Or "don't be ridiculous, you HAVE to wear your jacket - it matches your princess costume just fine." I chuckle thinking of it all.
Protestants also observe Reformation Day today....the day that we observe Martin Luther's posting of his 95 Thesis proclaiming the "gospel in a nutshell" - that by grace we are saved through faith.
One year, when I was teaching Tuesday night Confirmation classes, Pastor and the rest of the teachers had decided to have a Reformation Day party. If we or the kids were going to wear a costume, it had to be biblical in nature. So, having worn my very best Pillsbury Dough Boy get up during working hours, I came home, put on a fuzzy white sweater with my white food service uniform pants and a fluffy white winter hat with flaps, and a pair of white mittens and went to the party dressed as - a sheep! I was rather creative back then. Of course some of the kids thought I looked like a bunny.
Just got home from our friend's house next door. Put a mask on and went trick or treating to see if they had any good candy. Nestle's Crunch Bars - worth the trip, especially since we talked for about half an hour about everything under the sun. I love those impromptu visits.
Better go now - Lilly is getting restless and has her rope toy in her mouth so I guess that means, "let's play mom!"
Laurie will send us lots of pictures tomorrow of Kasey's Halloween adventures. Can't wait to see them. I wonder how many candy bars he had tonight? Ahhh, Laurie, PAYBACK TIME!!
God bless our troops and those who wait.

"You WILL be back tomorrow, right?"

I had a new staff member start this week...a very nice lady and it seemed she was going to work out just fine. But on Monday, as the day ended, she looked pretty tired. I said - you WILL be back tomorrow, right? She laughed and said that she would be.
Of course, when new staff members start, we like them to think we are organized...like a well oiled machine that hums along like an expensive diesel engine on the most expensive pick up truck you can buy (Ron's dream). Are there any offices that work like that? Well, not in my world. We truly are a well oiled machine...but there's a little water mixed in there so it doesn't hum too quietly sometimes. But it all gets done somehow.
Anyway, our new girl did return on Tuesday and she came back yesterday as well. And I thought: well, I guess we must be doing something right. I took her to a different part of campus at noontime to show her around a little bit and we had lunch together too. She said our office is a lot busier than she thought it would be but she is learning things already. Great to know she is such a quick learner, I thought.
This morning when I arrived at work at 7:30 and there was a voice mail waiting for me. It was the new girl - she had called at 6:35 this morning. "I will not be returning," she said, "I don't think the job is a good fit for me." I called her back immediately but she didn't answer and so I left her a voicemail and said that I felt bad that she wasn't returning and did I do something to offend her...did any of us do anything to offend her? She called me back at 3 o'clock and said it was nothing we did...she's just not ready to return to an office environment. I had looked in her desk drawer earlier in the day and found her parking tag, her id card, and her keys. This means that she would have had to walk to her car, remove the parking tag and return to the office and put everything in her desk drawer and then leave, knowing that this job wasn't going to work out. How difficult that must have been for her...as well as the call she made this morning. I felt pretty dejected all day, more for her than for me. I was disappointed for our office, but also for her.
It will be December before we find another person to fill her position. We have two other positions open so will probably hire all three staff members at the same time.
So, tomorrow will be another day. Lots to do -there always is. Seems like the weeks fly by - the days sometimes crawl a little bit though. Know the feeling?
With Wendy's son soon to be back in his home town - he returned to his home base recently and Wendy was there when he stepped off the plane - it's so good to know that my friend now knows the comfort of not waking in the middle of the night wondering where Jay is and whether he is on a mission. God does bring us comfort during times like that - He makes us realize that He is the only one we can trust our loved ones to because as awesome of a task as that might seem to us, it's an everyday gift of love He gives to us all. He has the answers to all the questions we ask over and over again -we don't always "get it" the first time we ask Him...but He is patient. I wonder if He ever says, "You WILL be back tomorrow, won't you?"
My answer? Dear Lord, yes. (Do you think it's ok if I go back to Him BEFORE tomorrow?).
Blessings to you all and may God bless our troops and those who wait.

Coming home...and leaving.

As I sit here tonight giving thanks for the soldiers returning home this week from the sand, I also give thanks for the soldiers who are leaving this week for their time in the sandbox. What they do is not an ordinary thing - and is not a journey anyone should take lightly. Now I fully realize that unless you've walked in the shoes, a person can't realize the gravity of what this means to a soldier (sailor, marine or airman), and to his or her family. When your child calls and says, "we got our orders, mom" it puts a very real face on the war. I've been down that road 3 times and it will probably be a journey we will take again in the next year or two with one or both of our soldiers. The tears are very real, the sleepless nights are not a dream; the prayers that are constantly on our lips and in our hearts bombard our Father without ceasing. And anyone reading this who has experienced it will be the first one to nod their head in agreement.
And so I thank all of you whose child or husband or wife or dad or mom or brother or sister...or friend..has been to the sand. I may not ever meet you, but you are my dearest friends because we understand each other. We are the ones who will pray and support the soldiers now deployed and offer understanding and comfort to their loved ones who wait at home. Oh, don't get me wrong - I know that many, many people are praying for our troops and every word spoken from their sincere and faithful hearts are so appreciated and welcomed. It's just that those of us who walk the same path need to keep one another company on the journey.
As I mentioned last week, Ron and I watched a series written and produced by Ken Burns called "The War." It was about WWII. The hundreds of thousands of men and women who left home and never returned. Their courage, their friendships, the lives they lived moment by moment in the trenches or in the forests or on beaches far away as bombs and mortar rained down on them. It was a series that was VERY difficult to watch because it was so gruesome and sad at times. That's what war is, right? Still, if these men and women and the families who loved them could endure it - make the sacrifices they made - how can I turn it off when it gets too difficult to watch? Don't I at least owe them the time it takes for them to tell us their stories? Sometimes war is too much to think about, isn't it?
Well, it's all in how you look at it. War DOES change us... it can make our faith grow - not only in God, but in human nature and the goodness people are capable of sharing. I've seen that goodness, and experienced the faith. It made me stronger as a mom and wife and friend. It makes us better - lets us love people better.
Troops - whether coming, or going, or serving on our home soil - will never be forgotten for their efforts, for their courage and for their sacrifice. They may be one in a million who serve our nation and I know that figure is a low estimate - but they each truly are an army of one.
And I love them all.

Football...and therefore, traffic.


Are you ready for some football? Monday night football hasn't visited our area in 13 years but tonight, the Bills take on the Cowboys right here in WNY.
And the traffic I ran into from the moment I left work was, well, interesting. SUVs with 4 or 5 people in all of them - and faces painted red and white and blue (not necessarily because they are patriotic...just die hard Buffalo Bills fans). Cars with Bills flags flying from the windows on both sides of their cars; passengers telling the driver it's safe to change lanes (and the drivers believed them). All the way home - all 85 minutes of the trip - these were my traveling companions along the interstate. It's ok - I finally got home and now I am not budging...well, just from the computer to the TV. (teehee...I AM ready for some football).
I requested the day off tomorrow - I have to go for a mammogram (fun times) and I also have lots to do around the house that didn't get done over the weekend (because little Miss Veronica was here and we went on a field trip Saturday. Yesterday I was going to go into the office to clear a few things off my desk but making a fried chicken dinner with all the trimmings - including a homemade apple pie - kind of got in the way.
This morning when I went into the office and saw my desk I thought: the apple pie was worth it.
Yup, definitely worth watching Scott and Ron feed their faces.
Tonight, as my friend Wendy and her family wait for Jay to return to his home base, I can only imagine how excited they must be as they wait there for him. Lord please bless his journey home. I hope there aren't any football games to hold him up - the last thing he needs is traffic. :)
God's blessings my friends.

Five Words to live by (and for)...

I AM OUT OF IRAQ!!!! These words my friend Wendy forwarded to me in an email this morning...her son is finally not "in country" as they say. As I read the words, the days and thoughts of my own emails proclaiming that about my own children came flooding back to me. Anyone will tell you that you have to walk in the shoes to understand the gravity and thanksgiving in reading or hearing those five words. There are no words to describe the joy...or the relief...or the flood of tears that come when a soldier's family finally realize that it's over and he/she is coming home. When you get the news, you don't care where you are...where the flood of relief will hit...who will be the first one that you hug when the news finally sinks in. So tonight Wendy, I am wishing that I could have been there when you got the news. But since there are many miles between us, I hope you know that at least I was able to shed some tears with you - because I love your soldier too. And I am thrilled that you are finally getting this news. I hope that the person who received that first hug realizes the joy behind it and the relief and thanksgiving. Chances are they did not...but I hope you can feel the one I am sending to you. THANK YOU JESUS!

Now I have another friend who visits from time to time...her name is Kim. Her older son Chuck served in the Army and got out...then her youngest son Ben joined and is about to graduate from Basic...and Chuck re-enlisted. I can't believe that Ben is old enough. Kimmy...I am so proud of them both - and I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Pride is mixed in there somewhere I'm sure....just remember that there are a lot of us here who will be with you in this...no matter where the Army sends them. God bless them Kimmy - and may He bring you His peace at all times.

Nothing personal to report today...it's all about other moms and their soldiers. About old friends and renewed friendships and the blessings that are in all of these. It's about those five words that a family lives for.

God, please bless our troops...and those of us who wait. You know our hearts...and You know our trust in you dear Lord. And you know the courage and strength they hold in THEIR hearts.

For you do not give us a spirit of fear, Lord...only hope and trust. And faith.

Some things never change.

Fall weather is starting to move into Western NY. Rainy, getting a little cooler...you know, the tell tale signs that summer is over. We've had Lily for just a little over a year. When we first brought her home, she didn't want to go outside when it was raining...so we used to take her out in the rain and stand there with an umbrella while she watered the grass. Funny doggie. During the winter, she absolutely LOVED romping in the snow but didn't want to go out if it was actually in the process of snowing (huh?). All spring and summer long, she has found her perfect spot, and would lie down in her sun beam and be content for as long as we'd let her...or she would come into the garage and lie down on the cool cement floor.
So why should we be surprised when this afternoon when it was lightly misting, Scott put her leash on her and she stood there in the doorway watching the rain...and not budging until Ron came out and stood in the rain with her. Looks like nothing has changed since that once frail little doggie grew to be healthy as can be with a lot more meat on her bones. She is a wonderful companion...since Tina got rid of the two dogs living at their house, when Veronica comes over here she gets right down on the floor next to Lily and tackles her. Lily loves it...and it's so cool to watch. Last night, during a thunderstorm, Lily got up on the bed and slept between Ron and I - she took turns sharing our pillows. She hasn't slept with us all night in a long time...usually a thunder storm finds her under the bed. But she always has to know we are close by.

Tonight on my way home from work, I noticed that the leaves are starting to change...the air is getting crisper and that wonderfully colorful time of the year is upon us. One of my favorite times of the year...except for the leaves on the ground. Ron works so hard raking and the very next day the yard is full again. I think you can identify. Some things never change.

And then again, some things do change. Some things that we have no control over. I have a friend who is facing a divorce after 28 years of marriage...after that length of time it would seem that all the major kinks should be worked out. Kids are pretty much grown, the "lean" years are pretty much over because you've been working for a long time and saving toward the same goals. And then all of a sudden, the words are spoken, the split happens, and where are you?

So prayers are going up for my friend tonight...and will be in the days and weeks and months ahead as life changes for her and her family. She knows she has a strong support group, but still, the hurt is there. Remember who loves you my friend... there are lots of us. God bless your family with His love and guidance and care.

Tomorrow is Friday - another week over. They go so quickly. Jay, a soldier I have come to love, will be home from the sand box soon. As his mom makes preparations to meet his plane when he returns, there are many of us waiting, waiting, waiting. I know the 15 months he's been gone have not gone quickly for them at all, but God has been gracious.

Ron and I have been watching a PBS series by Ken Burns called The War...about WWII and it's impact on 4 American cities and the people who lived there; nearly everyone in those cities had someone serving. I know that war changes things...makes you keenly aware of the important things in life. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for families of soldiers in WWII - communication was terrible, letters took forever to get. I, like many of you, have experienced this sandbox war and may experience that yet again. It's far from being at a picnic.

This post covers doggies, and friends, autumn leaves, and soldiers. The common thread is change - good and bad. We live with change every single day - some changes of our own making; others God has preordained. Friendships, marriages, autumn leaves. As for war, God has been telling us since the very first days of creation to love each other...to be our brother's keeper..to be gentle and not hate. But then there is human nature and that really really seems to win out a lot more than it should. And so there are wars.

And our troops...there are our troops. They serve because they love their country...they believe in that word, "change." They can make a difference - make things better - with their courage and their loyalty and their sacrifice.

God, please bless them.

Busy days...special times.

This was a busy weekend. Veronica spent Friday night and Saturday night here so she could be with her da-dee. What a little charmer she can be..she bats those beautiful long eyelashes of hers and I melt...well, not always, but usually. And her Papa? Man oh man he is like silly putty when his little Veronica wants something and procedes to ask for it in that sweet as sugar 3 year old voice. She loves spending time with Scott - and it's a mutual thing. Since Scott has been here, we have encouraged him in his abilities to be a dad...he feels badly that he left for awhile and then came back. I keep telling him that the most important thing to remember is what brought him back home...his family. So, each weekend, Veronica will spend at least one night at Nana and Papa's (and now Da-dee's house too). Usually, she prefers to fall asleep on the couch and then Scott carries her upstairs to Laurie's old bedroom. As I watched Scott leave the family room last night with her asleep on his shoulder, for a moment it seemed like only yesterday Scott was the sleepy toddler and Ron the daddy with an arm full of snips and snails. Funny how a mom's mind and heart never forget images like that.
Our two soldiers are settling in nicely at their new home. Kasey enjoys the warmer weather and his new day care seems to agree with him. K-bug posted a really, really nice story the other day on her website - about spending time on Army bases and listening for Reveille and Taps in the morning and at night. The military life is not an easy one - but it is a simple one. Even their entertainment and times of family fun are simple...kind of a forgotten art in the busy busy times we've all become so accustomed to. And so, Kasey (and any little sisters or brothers he might have in the future :) will learn to live life not taking things for granted. He will understand that happiness is as simple and wonderful as having both his mommy and daddy at home with him and that nothing is more exciting than seeing mommy or daddy after they've been gone for awhile because they are a soldier.
So, whether it's helping our son cope with a broken marriage, adjusting to weekends with a busy little 3 year old around, or the constant reminder that my two star banner brings - of my children so far away, (but living a good life together)...well, no matter how you look at it, just the sheer joy of being a family...this is a wonderful thing.
May God bless you in the week ahead and may He bless our troops with His loving care.

Time flies when you're having fun....?


Ok, eight days since I've posted - I think that's a record for me. I've been sick...some sort of upper respiratory/sinus infection thing...you know, the kind of thing that makes a woman sound like a man and makes the ribs ache from coughing. I even missed a couple of days of work - if you knew me, you'd know that is just about unheard of.
Scott is still staying with us and it's really a great thing - I think it's been good for him too. He seems content. We sleep much better at night, that's for sure. In the morning when I come out to the kitchen, there are telltale signs that an elf has visited - you know, the cookie sheet and an empty frozen pizza box, or a knife with peanut butter on it, a plate with crumbs on it. And I just smile, take a shower and start my day.
Some of us are counting the days until Wendy's son Jay returns from the sand. It's been a long 15 months...he lost a good good friend while they were there so he is coming home feeling incomplete, I'm sure. Sad.
This year will be the first time in 27 years that we will not see Laurie...and Stephen and Kasey too, at Christmas time. The fares are outrageous...when I think of this it makes me sad, but they are at least stateside. I will be grateful for that all during the holidays.
Cathy is experiencing the joy of having her grand daughter living with her...she is one lucky little girl. Cathy, hoping that Dan and Kat get good jobs soon...haven't visited your site the last couple of days...will do that tomorrow...hoping to see that they are working. How are Gabby and Hans the wonder dog? Blessings my friend. Enjoy every single moment.
That's about it for tonight...0530 comes early so I will say good night. God bless you all and dear Lord...please bless our troops with your love and protection.

Day of remembrance.

We all know that today was an unhappy and tragic anniversary for our nation, but more importantly for those who lost loved ones on 9/11.

It has changed our lives forever...may we never forget those who were lost and the innocence that was lost for our entire nation.

God bless America, our leaders and those who protect her....

Happiness - Inside and Outside.

As Luke sleeps on the couch in the family room, Veronica is sleeping in Laurie's old room and Scott is asleep in his room, Ron and Lilly are also asleep in our room. Saturday morning and this is Scott's first weekend home after being a way for a year of Saturdays....well, only 3 but it seems like 52. Tina has to work today so the kids spent the night and will be here for the day too and I am smiling inside and out. The picture above is of Veronica hugging her daddy when they were reunited. It's been so good to be able to hug him again....I am a hugger, and so when I say to Scott or Ron that I need to hug them, one says to the other, "do you want to catch this one?" Geesh.

Busy weekend I have...cooking and cutting potatoes for the chicken bbq at church, making 3 pies (2 for church, one for the boys), and getting my posters made and hung for my Sunday School classroom. Tomorrow is Rally Day - 1st day of Sunday School. This year I have thirteen 7th and 8th graders....hmmmm, this should be interesting. Our fall topic will be Identity...Spring will be Jesus. I'll also be spending a bit of time at the BBQ tomorrow, but not all day.

Grandparents day tomorrow too. Another day that Hallmark expects young families to buy things while being on shoestring budgets. (But for all you grandparents, Happy Grandparents Day - job well done.) Tee hee.
May your weekend be blessed. Mine already is - with inside and outside happiness.

God bless our troops and those who love them.

If you could know...

Three weeks ago Scott left to go as far as possible from here and the problems that were plagueing his marriage. Ron and I had tried for nearly a month to talk him out of it but he was determined. And so, I decided to accept it and not be angry with him when he left. It just wasn't in me - when would I see him again? If you could know the pieces of my heart that felt like they would never heal.

As he sat on the bus that night, I watched him through the window of the bus station and oh my arms ached wishing I could get on the bus and hug him again. But I did not cry until after the bus pulled out and I had waved one last time before it disappeared taking my only son with it.

For three weeks, I've been missing him, but getting on with life...I think I described it a couple of posts ago - trying to make life count.

Then, Monday, Scott's plans fell apart and he called Tina and said 'I want to come home - NOW.'

And so, this morning, the arms that have been aching for 3 weeks were wrapped around my son. He is back home - he'll live here with us for awhile until he gets his life back. But to see Luke and Veronica hugging him when they got off their school buses today, well, if you could know the joy in seeing this.

Things are not perfect - there are many issues to be worked out between Scott and Tina - we don't know if they will get back together - but we can hope and we can help them with emotional support and love.

There's always love, isn't there? That love teaches us many lessons - some very painful. But then we start to listen to the Teacher...and we follow His path back home.

Welcome home, Scottie. If only you could know my dear son, how much you are loved.

By your family and by our Lord.

Thank you all for your heartfelt prayers for our family - they have been heard - and are being answered.

I feel like I could sleep for a week - that totally restful sleep that you know comes from peace.

God is so good.

Summer over???

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

Day after day, we all have jobs to do. We come from many walks in life - we work each day doing the things God has asked us to do. Outside the home, or as stay at home parents or retirees. Whatever our niche in life is, a rest from the daily routine is welcomed when those rare 3 day weekends come along.
But just as Memorial Day weekend ushers in the summer, so too does Labor Day weekend escort us out. How was your summer? Was it what you hoped for? Did the warm days of sunshine hold true to the plans you had made back in the spring? Back in early March, as I sat here in the family room with my leg elevated and the ice bag ever near my sore and swollen knee, I thought of all the things that we could do this summer. Laurie, Stephen and Kasey would be here, there would be family get togethers with Scott and Tina and Luke and Veronica. It would be a good summer. But of course I could not foresee the things that summer brought. The struggles for Scott and Tina, and their breakup. Scott leaving to go to the other side of the country; and Laurie and Stephen having to sell their new home and move because the Army said so. One of my dearest friends son who is in the sand lost his room mate and co pilot and very good friend. .
No...we do not know what each season will bring. We hope it will bring what we've planned for, but then God knows better and choses something else. It gives us strength and helps us to rely on prayer much more often...and to lean on Him.
And so we will rest on Monday from the work that we do each day. Well, most of us will. For our soldiers, there is never really a day of rest...24/7 they are called upon to do their jobs - a job which at times must seem thankless. But a service with out which we wouldn't know freedom and all it's blessings. This Labor day, thank a soldier even if - no, especially if - it's just a prayer for his or her safety. Maybe not thinking of our own rest as much as thinking of when they will be able to kick their boots off and drink a soft drink...or a beer...and enjoy a hot dog and a scoop of macaroni salad and a slab of watermelon. Now THAT sounds like a fine day for any soldier. God knows they all deserve it.
Summer as we know it may be almost over, but God has many more seasons planned for us. I look forward to spending them with you.
God bless you all with a safe and happy holiday weekend.

Coming to life.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1

On Friday morning, my cousin Lynn stood before a crowded church sanctuary and read these words with a sad but believing heart. Her Dad - my Uncle Ken - knew the meaning of them, and the verse that follows..."a time to be born, a time to die." As you know, my dad's brother passed into Jesus' embrace last week after a six year long illness. His illness, though, did not prevent him from continuing to do the good and gracious things for which we will all remember him. And he didn't do these acts of servanthood - as husband, dad, grandfather, son, brother, uncle and friend - to be verbally remembered as a wonderful man. He did them all to make all of our lives better. His genuine and infectious laugh, the kindnesses he gave to others, the honest enjoyment he got from life. He made his life count. All the while having the assurance of his eternal resting place in heaven when God called him there. Not because of this goodness to others, but because of his faith in the Savior whose death on the cross promises eternal life to all of us who believe.

Making life count - isn't that what we really seek? Not to be heralded as a success, but as faithful. To our families, our friends, and first (not last) to our God.

Yesterday was Scott's birthday - it was kind of a blah day, but I was determined to make it count. When we finally reached him, he sounded a little bit down, first birthday away from home and all, but he was going to spend the day with new friends - that in itself is a blessing. I'd sent him a small box and a card - more will go out this week. I think a corner was turned yesterday - and as Cathy mentioned in one of her comments to me recently: 'things will get easier, but you know that.'

Yes, Cathy, I do know that. And while I am waiting for it to actually get easier, I find that it provides an opportunity to come to life. To make life count. Every day.

In less than two years, I will be retired so I don't have too much time left at work to make things count. I try to do that every day, but some days it's easier than others, and on those "other" days, at least it's not for lack of trying.

This week will be a busy one - our office staff is shrinking rapidly. A promotional exam was offered a few months ago and now all who took the exam are being interviewed for new jobs. Great for them, not so great for our office because the replacement and training process is a long one. What will be will be - and it will all be fine. I love a challenge. (within reason :).

Laurie and Stephen and Kasey are moving this week - courtesy of the Army. Further away, but they have a plan and will do as they always do - go with the flow. I bought them a wall hanging at the county fair a few years ago. "Home is Where the Army Sends Us." It goes from one home to another, and hangs proudly in each new kitchen. This will be the fifth kitchen it's been displayed in.

To our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, home seems far away. And in the homes where their loved ones wait, home is incomplete. But overseas, and here in our nation, God is with us. All at the same time. Giving courage and faith and hope to all of the hearts calling out to Him.

And during all His seasons of time, we are embraced by the goodness of His love.

Embraced by Jesus.

My uncle Ken passed away last night - he was 76, my dad's second youngest brother, and an awesome man. But God in His grace and mercy called him to be there with Him and out of the pain and suffering Uncle Ken was experiencing here. The older I get, the more I realize that this is what we are all looking forward to - the Hope we have in eternity. Of course, we all would like to live long lives, see our kids and grandkids grow up and be happy. Uncle Ken realized all of this, and is resting now with Jesus.
And on another note...14 soldiers died today in Iraq. My friend Wendy, well her son is a pilot over there and the sinking feeling our military mom sisters felt with this news was felt by many. But then, as quickly as the fear came, so too did our faith. And the meaning of Paul's "prayers without ceasing" was ever clear. I pray that these soldiers also knew the embrace of our Lord much stronger than their fear.
Wendy - God be with you today as you wait to hear from your soldier. He is OUR soldier too.
And may He comfort all those families today receiving the visits and hearing the news a military family fears most. You are not alone - I promise you. And your soldier will never be forgotten.
Peace, my friends.

Old habits die hard.

It's been five days since Scott left and old habits seem to die hard. He still calls us every night. I'm not sure if he needs the connection or if he thinks WE need the connection but he's learned that talking to mom and dad isn't a bad thing at all. He doesn't seem to think of it as obligatory. And that means a lot. He calls because he wants to talk to us. That's a cool thing, don't ya think?
Ron's not in a good place with all of this right now - men see things differently. Oh, don't get me wrong - Scott wasn't right in what he did. But a mom's heart never gives up - never stops believing in her child. And a Christian mom never stops trusting that her child is in God's hands.
The weekend was difficult - Veronica was here a lot and to look at her, well it's like looking at her daddy when he was 3 - their expressions, mannerisms, and everything about their faces are mirror images of one another. Scott was always off on Saturday and we'd spend time together. We really missed him this past weekend and since his birthday is this weekend....hmmm, that won't be too much fun either. But he is happy and healthy, so I am thankful for that. It will be a different kind of birthday (or "birth" day) for us all.
The work week is going to be a busy one for sure - classes begin next Monday - another fall semester underway. They go fast - I have the semesters til my retirement counted. Five - count them, five, well actually five and a half. I don't have the number of days counted out yet. Teehee.
And then we can travel to see the kids whenever we feel like it. I like the thought of that.
In the meantime, the phone calls will continue - To Laurie and Stephen and now to Scott too. Need to share the calls because the long distance bills won't be easy if we don't.
Thanks for listening - praying that your Tuesday (or whatever day you are reading this) will be blessed.
God bless our troops and those who wait.

Leaving the light on.

Sometimes, when I think of all the things my mom and dad did for us as kids, one of the nicest and comforting things was that they left the porch light on for us when we were out at night. It made it so much easier for our friends dads and moms to find the house late at night - we could always say, 'There! It's the one with the light on.'
Scott left last night with a one way ticket headed west. It wasn't an easy time but I didn't cry at the bus station. God knows there have been tears enough to fill an ocean - no, make that TWO oceans - the past several weeks. But in the end, although he is leaving home and family, this trip will be something that will make a profound difference in his life. I can't explain it - wish so bad that I could, just know that he will be back after he figures things out. A mom knows these things - not because she is fooling herself into thinking this, she just knows.
And so, that light will be burning - not in the literal sense but figuratively. The light of hope doesn't go out when your kids are out of sight - it's just that you miss them so much that it feels like it will never shine again.
He just called - the usual nightly phone call, but oh tonight it was anything but ritual. He had adventures to share about the trip...said that I packed so many chocolate chip cookies that he shared them with other travelers. :) Dear Lord, I miss him so. But the light is brighter than it was an hour ago. And it was a good way to end the day.
In a little while, when I finally get some sleep, I will be thanking God for the night light He gave me with Scott's phone call. If I wake in the darkness, it'll be ok. Really it will.
Thank you Jesus.
God bless our troops.

I wonder if God is trying to tell me something?

It's been over a week since I've been here...and trust me when I say that the week hasn't been an easy one for any of our family members. In a few days, Scott will be gone - across the country and about as far away as he could get.
This morning's epistle lesson was from Hebrews 11 - the faith chapter. Verse one:
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I guess God is trying to tell me something because He brought that verse to mind a few weeks ago when Scott's plan first came to light. There have been tears enough to fill an ocean, angry words spoken, loving words spoken as well.
And now, the week looms ahead...well, it looks waaay too rough but it's a path we have to travel because as someone once said, time marches on.
And so, both of our children will be farther away than I'd ever imagined. Ron and I will do our utmost to keep Scott in the picture for Veronica - and we will be praying that somehow it will all work out.
Then of course there is another scripture verse from Romans 8:28 -
'And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God.'
I think it's been a long time since Scott has had a conversation with God - but his mom has been in daily touch from the moment I knew we were going to have a child all those years ago. Now "daily" touch isn't enough and so I will work on that every moment of every day for the rest of my life - however long God ordeigns that will be.
Thank you for your faithful prayers and for being with me in this journey. Any military mom knows that the road we travel needs to be taken one day at a time. When I wrote my very first post more than 13 months ago, I said that it's not just about the soldiers - but about their siblings as well. It's never an easy path - no matter what. But it's also never a journey we take alone.
Thanks for the company.
God bless you - and God bless our troops.

Face it.

My last post told you about Scott and Tina - their struggle, and of course the ripple effect on this mother's heart. It's not getting any better, and they've made the decision to separate. Scott has, in fact, accepted a job out of state and will be leaving in a week or two. It's so hard to imagine Scott not being here...impossible to imagine that no one will answer when Veronica calls out for "dadee." But he isn't leaving to abandon her, this is something he has agonized over and yet feels that he must do.
And I am facing it - (she says with conviction). Well, at least I am coming to terms with it. As I have told Ron...and my dearest friends...when Laurie left for the military 9 years ago, I thought I was going to die. For a whole year, as she was on delayed entry, all I could think about was that Laurie was leaving home. But I didn't die - actually, we have been blessed. She is a very happy young woman - a wife, and a mom, and oh yes, a soldier too. And so I need to remember that as Scott prepares to move across the country. I will not die. My heart might crumble in a few spots, but I will be ok. Eventually. Because Scott will be ok, and he won't be gone forever. I have a friend Cathy who lost her son last year. She blogs and I know that some days she gets through by putting one foot in front of the other and trusts the Lord to keep them on the path. She has a mountain top faith and she is very honest about missing her son. We don't know if the hurt will ever go away, but we know that He is working on our hearts every moment of every day to make it better.
A good friend of mine passed away this weekend. She was 80, the mom of one of my dearest friends, and a sister in Christ. She has suffered a long time and so deserves the Victory feast that she's enjoying now. I'll miss her, but knowing where she is now, it would be selfish to want her back. I cannot imagine anything in this world greater than seeing face to face what, as Paul wrote, we only see dimly now.
Times like these happen to us all - sometimes it seems like everything happens at one time...or one thing after another. They often seem like a bitter pill to swallow. I know the feeling.
Each and every day though, God helps me to remember what He asked His Son to do. His Son who had never sinned, never did an unkind thing, only worked and lived, taught and ministered to throngs of people who would eventually be the ones to help nail Him to the cross. Jesus. He asked to be spared that cup - and yet prayed that His Father's will be done. In church this morning I ate the body and drank the blood of Jesus...not a bitter pill, but rather redemption because by God's grace, I have faith in this man Jesus. A saving faith - however tiny on those really really bad days, He has ordained that it is big enough.
And, also by God's grace, we are given the blessing to bear all things through Christ. To face it and be reconciled to these things He asks us to bear. For we do not bear these burdens alone.
This faith that He has given us - well, it keeps the light on in our hearts and helps us to wait for the answers to our prayers. We know that, in His time, each one will be answered.
God bless our troops and those of us who wait.
Sue

Substance.

"Now Faith is the substance of all things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen."
Hebrews 11:1

It's been five days since I've been here - oh I've been here and tried to post, (there are three drafts that I have to get rid of) but for the situation our family is in, every time I started to type, the words felt terribly inadequate. Last night, I was emotionally drained and knew that nothing would sound right so I did an online jigsaw puzzle and went to bed. And prayed myself to sleep.
You see, two of our children, Scott and Tina, are having a very rough time of it and I feel so helpless. My prayers feel so feeble. I literally sobbed all the way home yesterday, and "talked it out" with our Father. Some days I can do the work thing, travel to and from work and not cry a single tear. Then there are days like yesterday when I crossed out many of the things on my to do list (accomplished), but barely managed to get to the car after work before I just let it out. In the end, when I got home, there was just sadness and helplessness.
And still, when I think of the above Scripture verse - one which I memorized years and years ago, I am assured of one thing. God, in His divine wisdom, has given us the knowledge that try as we may, it's not up to us. Not at all. BUT, He doesn't prevent us from insisting that it is in our hands. It's the human nature thing. That's what gives our faith the truest test. Back and forth, back and forth - You can take it from me, God...no wait, not yet. We say we are strong in our faith and yet, we don't trust it all to Jesus. I love Jesus, but it's so darned hard to trust Him with these things. Oh I do trust my eternity to Him, and wouldn't you think that I could trust to Him the most precious blessings God has given to me - my children - as well? When Laurie and Stephen were deployed, I think most people at work were surprised that I wasn't a basket case. Well. at least not on the outside. It was because, once I got through the initial terror and anxiety, I realized that THEY were trusting that I was trusting them to the Lord...and rarely did I take them back from Him. I did occasionally, but mostly I knew that wouldn't do any good at all - especially for the kids.
And now, when the tears have been shed (and there will be many more I am sure) , and the disbelief becomes reality, and every moment throughout, there will still be the comfort of Hebrews 11:1 - God's Word and my faith through God's grace. He's gotten me 60 years into this life, so who am I to let things change now?
His grace - more and more He is teaching me that it is sufficient for us all. I just need to remember that from moment to moment on each and every day.
May our troops - and those who wait - feel His love and strength and may it give them courage.
Blessings my friends.

Little things mean a lot.

Well, we are slowly getting used to the fact that Kasey took his mommy and daddy home yesterday. But oh, getting up this morning was tough. No little feet running in the house shouting the things that 2 year olds like to shout first thing in the morning when mommies and daddies are still trying to catch those last 40 winks. No good morning hug from Laurie. Most of you know what I mean. When we got home from the airport yesterday, I walked around the house looking for the little things they usually leave behind. A sock or bib or toy. No deal - Laurie packed EVERYTHING. Kasey packed all his toys - he was so cute running around the house the other night - gathering all of his cars and trucks. The books and magazines that he arranged on the coffee table in the family room to serve as the race course for his cars are still exactly where he left them. When I dust the table next week - I will have to move them, but next week is soon enough. The room that Laurie and Stephen slept in is neat as a pin - and Kasey's room...well...it looks like a little boy slept there. This is good. I will leave it that way for awhile yet...and then put it back the way it was before they got here. :(
Today, there is the family reunion at my cousin's cottage. We all decided we should have a cousin's reunion while at my cousin Tina's funeral luncheon. Most of our parents - my mom and dad, and my aunts and uncles, are gone now. But I am really looking forward to seeing my cousins and catching up - got the pasta cooking right now for a casserole of good old fashioned mac and cheese. We are supposed to take a dish to pass, meat for grilling if we want to (not me - with all those yummy pot luck dishes, I can forego the hot dogs), and any alcoholic beverages we would like to take. They will provide the soft drinks - sounds good to me. It's less to carry and to remember one dish and my purse when I leave the picnic is a very easy thing. Ron won't be going with me, but I know where the lake is, so I won't get lost getting out there (she says with confidence).
As I get back into my routine next week, I'll be missing the kids. Little things mean a lot - and even though there weren't any little things left behind, when I go from room to room, oh the memories of yet another wonderful time with my soldiers and their little man.
God bless your weekend everyone, and may He bless our troops.
Sue