Love Hurts



I said to Ron tonight on our way home from dinner, "Do you think I'm ever going to get over the fact that Scott and Tina split up?" It's almost a year now, and last night when Tina brought Veronica over, Scott and Tina were talking like old friends. About what you may ask? About Scott trying to find an apartment and Tina telling him where the good ones are-and the bad ones too. If it didn't hurt so much it would be almost funny. Almost.
The fact is, they are both getting on with their lives. Scott is dating a very nice girl, and I think Tina is dating someone as well. I thought I was over the mourning stage, but I guess I'm not.
Will I ever be? I am thankful that they are on good terms - as Ron reminded me tonight, they have a long time to go together as Veronica's parents.
And then there are Stephen and Laurie. Separated not by choice but by the Army's plan for them. They love each other so much - and they are such good parents to Kasey. Tonight, Laurie is back home with Kasey they spent the week with Stephen. In a few weeks, Laurie and Kasey will go back and stay with Stephen until he deploys. This is when we will visit them.
Love hurts. It hurts when you see your children separate, whether it's a marriage that doesn't work out; or when they are separated by war. Either way, it's rough on hearts. Probably no rougher on mine than on theirs, but when a mom's heart hurts, it feels like the hurt is multiplied by three - her kids hearts and her own. Know what I mean?
So this gives me a lot to pray about - and reconcile with. Eventually that will happen.
Until then, well, love hurts.
Big time.
Thank you Lord for helping me t0 remember that your love is far greater than the hurt.

Shouldn't I be in bed by now?


It's midnight and I will be groping for a noisy alarm clock at 0520...I think I should have been in bed awhile ago. Brought some work home tonight and got it all done...this will make my day a lot better tomorrow at work.
Today was not what you would call a good day - one of those Murphy's law kind of days...and yes, what can actually did (go wrong). Good thing it's the end of the week, eh?
This weekend is going to be one of those busy, non stop kind of weekends but I should get a lot done. Scott is taking Veronica out for the day on Saturday so Ron and I hope to get a LOT of stuff out of the basement...we are showing no mercy. If it doesn't look garage sale worthy, then it gets pitched. Huge garage sale at the end of the month - our whole block is doing it. This makes it a bit more worthwhile - more people should drop in.
Ron has to pack up my Noritake china that he got in Japan when he was in the Navy. It was his mom's but I inherited it and I sure can't carry that in an RV all around the country now, can I? So when we take our road trip to see the kids, we will also take the china...it's Laurie's now.
That would make her grandma happy.
This retirement/selling the house is starting to sink in now. Hope we are able to sell it quickly so I can actually retire when we plan it. Of course I am not betting my life on it 'cause we all know that the best laid plans of mice and men...are just that. Plans. Not necessarily the will of our Father. Can't argue with the perfection of His plan, you know?
Well, tomorrow is Friday - TG. The week was one day shorter but it didn't feel shorter - know what I mean?
Thanks for stopping by...
God bless your Friday...and may He be with all of our troops.
Sue

I almost lost me tonight. :)

Hi. Tonight has been a disaster. WAAAAY too much time on my hands - decided I should REALLY get down to the nitty gritty and post some of your links. Ah, not easy. First of all, since I have been using the old format, I needed to update the Template. Bad idea. And as I looked at the new template - which I hadn't noticed that it didn't allow my profile to show or a link list or anything (HA!! That's if I ever get that mastered). And so I sat here and said, there's a hole in my bucket dear Liza, dear Liza...remember that song? So I quickly got this one back and so I am back to square one - a little bit wiser but in familiar territory. Phew! Scary!
It will all fall in place one of these days.
Won't lose any sleep tonight, that's for sure. Last night was one of those nights when I was up late and still couldn't sleep. Plenty to think about these days (and nights).
And during that time, when I am staring at the ceiling in the pitch dark, your loved ones who serve - and mine - are in my thoughts and prayers.
Be blessed - and may you feel His peace.
Sue

Back to work...with memories.

Tomorrow takes me back to my desk - looking for adventure, you might say. There's always fun at work this time of year - we're so busy that we find a lot of laughter in the little things that lighten the day. Are we punchy? Nope, not at all. Do we enjoy our time there? It depends on who you ask - I for one say YES!
It's been quite a weekend. Friday I ended my work day by attending a wake for the stepdad of one of a friend and co-worker. Veronica was all wound up on Friday night but a good night's sleep for all of us helped immensely. Saturday, instead of the park, we went to the playground and she loved every minute. We came home and grilled some steaks and then went to the dairy just down the road for ice cream. I learned that when you want just a small chocolate/vanilla twist cone, you ORDER a small chocolate/vanilla twist. NOT a medium. Veronica fell asleep before I could get her in the bathtub and so yesterday - much to her surprise and delight - she had a "morning bath." (a morning bath, Nana???). When I came home after church, it was definitely a park kind of day - so we took Veronica to the park. There would be something for everyone...
At the gates of the park, and throughout the park itself, there were small flags lining the roads. Veronica enjoyed the swings and the slides, but her Papa and Nana were thankful to see the flags and to appreciate just how much time it must have taken to line the many miles of road with these flags. As we were on our way through, we stopped at a Veteran's memorial walk...and took the journey that led from a small parking lot to the shores of a placid man made lake. Along the way were benches honoring all the branches of the Armed Services. Near water's edge, at the end of the walk, the sidewalk ended with a circle of copper colored tiles surrounding a monument. And on the tiles, were the names of many WNY natives who died for the cause of freedom - some of the tiles had the names of father and son who had died in two different wars, or a grandfather and grandson. And on another tile, was the name of a young man I knew in high school who died in VietNam. I will never forget the moment in 1967 when I read of his death in the Buffalo News. And so, when I saw Charlie's name, the tears that had been brimming in my eyes, finally flowed. And I prayed.
Adding to the weekend is that God brought me a new friend. Somehow, in this huge place that we call cyber space, I found her blog. She is Anna, and can be found by clicking on her name in the comments from Saturday's post. When I get to be intelligent enough on this blogging thing, you'll see her in my link list - which will basically be a copy and paste list from my favorites. I call them Connections because that's what they do...they connect me to the awesome people who are out there. That would be all of you.
Blessings for your week my friends...God bless our troops.

Remembrance.

It's such a beautiful day today - the sun is shining, leaves are still (as in quiet) on the trees, and Lily is lying on the back deck in her sunbeam. I think it's a good day to pack up a few things and head to the park with Ron, Scott, and Veronica. There are swings to be swung, slides to be, well, slid :), and teeter tauters to balance. A quick stop at the grocery store to pick up some impulse items, (chips, cookies, etc.) and some good things like fresh fruit, and we will be on our way.

But Memorial Day Weekend is not just an extra day off from work. As the war(s) carry on, and the news reports remain grim (because the networks would rather report the bad than the good), we realize more than ever the significance of this weekend....remembering those who have fallen defending our flag, and our freedom, and the liberty of others as well. On Monday morning our flag will fly at half staff and I will stop cleaning, writing, doing whatever I am doing at 11 and pray with the nation. For 'permanent peace,' as our President phrased it in his Memorial Day proclamation yesterday. And for those who strive to accomplish that 365/24/7 because they have been called by conscience , patriotism, or by God to serve and to sacrifice.

Ron and I will be leaving in a few weeks on our road trip to see the kids. We do love our road trips no matter how long they are, and I liken them to rainbows because at the end, we find our pot of gold. Our soldiers and their little soldier. This will not be an easy trip as it will be our final family time with Laurie, Stephen and Kasey before Stephen deploys. His date was moved up a couple of months and so the roller coaster starts that long climb a lot earlier than we expected. As so many of us know, this is what life is about for the families who love those who serve.

I ask that we all take some time this weekend - as most of us do enjoy that extra day off - to remember those who have fallen and those who are still serving. At home in this great nation, and in places far away.

May God bless them all, and may He bring peace to the hearts of those who love them.

Sue

Busy-ness

Today, I went to the funeral of an old friend...a friend with whom I've been out of touch with for awhile because of pure and simple busy-ness. I thought of her so often...wrote her an occasional note and went past her home many times, thinking, "I really need to stop and see Sharon." Except she didn't like people to just stop in because she was embarrassed about the inside of her home. She spent 24/7 taking care of her daughter who had severe Downs syndrome and it left her little time to take care of the house. Outside, though, every flower imaginable grew in her garden - to pass her home was like passing a rainbow. It's beautiful - just like Sharon. The flowers added to today's post is a remembrance of her love for all things beautiful.

For Christmas, Scott gave me a Purpose Driven Life calendar - so that I can count down the days to my retirement. Often, I find myself trying to catch up to this calendar's words of advice for a week at a time because I don't always read them.

On Tuesday, I went past Sharon's house on the way home from work. I had the car that day and needed to stop at the craft store so that I could finish up a Teddy Bear poster I am making for my friend's daughter. Her house was dark, but I made up my mind that I would call her this weekend. Instead, as we were eating dinner on Thursday night, Ron told me that a friend from church had called earlier in the day and said that Sharon had died. I can't describe how I felt.

As I cleaned my desk here at home this afternoon, sorting through this and that, I realized that I hadn't read or torn the pages off my calendar in awhile.

This is what it says on the page I look at now...ironically from Tuesday, the day I had driven past Sharon's house.

It says, 'Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. We become preoccupied with making a living, doing our work, paying bills and accomplishing goals as if these tasks are the point of life. They are not. The point of life is learning to love-God and people. Life minus love equals zero.'

In church this morning, singing the hymns Sharon's family had chosen for her service, I realized -even before I read them - the meaning of Tuesday's words of wisdom on my calendar. I didn't need to read them to know that the enemy of busyness has stolen a great deal.

I have a lot of catching up to do - so that nothing else is lost.

Blessings,

Sue

Happy Mother's Day


Whether you are a mom, or a daughter who is also a mom, or a grandma...today is "our" day.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! And if you are a single dad, or a stay at home dad, or a man whose wife is deployed because she is a soldier, Happy Mother's Day to you also because you often are BOTH mom and dad to your children.
What are your plans for the day? A bbq with all the kids and grandkids? A quiet day at home working on a scrapbook? Dinner out with all of your family? Whatever your plans are, know that you are appreciated and loved.
Yesterday a big brown truck pulled up to our driveway and I figured it was some sort of parts that Ron might have ordered - he's always fixing things you know (even if they aren't broken).
But lo and behold, as I continued to clean my closet, Ron came in the door hollering my name and saying that I had a package. When we were in FL a few weeks ago, I had commented on the gardenias that were all around my sister's home. And so, opening the package revealed a gift from Laurie, Stephen and Kasey - a gardenia plant. And so I cried - what else would I do? :)
Laurie remembered that I loved gardenias. That touched me so deeply.
Ron says that I have a surprise coming today - I'm not one who needs special treatment on any holiday (but Laurie, Stephen and Kasey sure racked up a lot of points with that gardenia : ). So I'm not sure what that means - dinner out? That would be a treat but not likely on Mother's Day since restaurants are so crowded and we usually avoid them like the plague on holidays. :)
Whatever it is, just having a day to enjoy with Ron and Scott will be nice.
And so I say, Happy Mother's Day to all my friends...may you be blessed.
Sue

We've only just begun.

Do you remember that song by the Carpenters? 'White lace and promises - a kiss for luck and we're on our way.'
Well, sometimes that phrase (we've only just begun) can be used for other things besides the white lace and promises.
For us, we began today. Stephen left for his new unit and for the training that he will need for the sand. He's been out of his old MOS for awhile now and will need to make sure that he becomes reacquainted with the things that once fit like a comfortable pair of old slippers.
And so, we will walk this uncertain path together, my friends. He hasn't even left the states yet, and already I am weepy. Maybe it's because this is Mother's day weekend. Or maybe it's just that I am thinking about my soldiers and their little boy sleeping apart for a long, long time to come. Laurie and Kasey will visit him a few times before he leaves for the sand - thank God for 4 day passes and holiday weekends. And he will have a 2 week block leave sometime in the summer - they will be coming home to visit. We are not unique - this is happening to many families these days - and I feel their pain. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, let alone my friends.
Thanks for your company. My friend Michelle mentioned in her blog A Cup of Tea With Friends
the other day that family can be those other than your relatives. A lot of you out there I have never met, others I have known and loved for a long time. And you are all family.
Whoever you are - WHEREVER you are, well, I thank you so much for coming along on this journey. I might just quote a line or two of Scripture that seems appropriate from time to time, if that's ok.
And so tonight, I will close with one of my favorite passages from Hebrews 11:1 - the faith chapter. "Now faith is the substance of all things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen."
Things unseen are what shapes and strengthens us - trust and faith in an unseen God is what I will count on...
May He bless you.
Sue

It's been decided.

Well, as it turns out, the Army was very quick in their decision. Stephen will be deployed as planned. At first he was hoping that he could stay with Kasey if Laurie makes the cut for the program she has been trying so hard to get into. He wasn't trying to get out of his deployment since he would have deployed at a later date. But the army says no. Pure and simple. No.
So now, we will proceed with Plan A as originally decided with a slight change in Laurie's schedule if she makes the program. She will report at a later date so that she can stay with Kasey as long as possible while Stephen is away, and then we will have him the remainder of the time.
I am so proud of Stephen's attempt since it could be misconstrued by some as an attempt to get out of his deployment. He was putting his family first. They are always willing to support one another in their military careers - no matter what it takes.
I will probably be here day and night during his deployment - hope you don't get tired of seeing me.
He has some training to do and we will visit him one more time before he leaves. And then, once again, the yellow ribbons go up on the trees in front of our home and the special yellow ribbon pin with the Army star attached as a charm will go on, and be worn each and every day until he comes safely home. The all too familiar routine will begin again.
For those who are experiencing it right now - your loved ones are appreciated far more than words can say. It's not just about my kids - it's about them all.
May God bless them...may He bless us all.

Thinking


Saturday is here and if there is one thing I love about going to bed on Friday night, it's that I don't have to get up early on Saturday morning. Can you identify?

This morning at 5:45, what was I doing?
Staring at the ceiling. So ends the Saturday morning sleep in - at least for this week.
It's a dark and rainy morning - but it's going to be warm so that's a good thing. I can work with most of the windows open.

I've had lots to think about this week with some possible changes in our future plans. Can't share them right now until the Army decides what their answer will be but it does concern Laurie and Stephen and Kasey so this gives me plenty to think about...early morning thinking when I am trying to get back to sleep...because it also concerns us; not to mention the fact that Scott has plenty going on as well. Never a dull moment around here but it makes our lives interesting.
Life sure can get uncertain sometimes - not that it's a bad thing. God has His own plan - but it would be more convenient if He would share it sooner. :)
Prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
God bless our troops - near and far. And those who love them.

Happy weekend everyone...today I am going to not think so much and stay busy.

Sue