BOO!

Trick or treat!
Hi - it's been awhile - I think I have writer's block or something. Just can't get into the swing of things these days. There's so much going on - at home, at work...on my mind and in my heart. Today being Halloween, I didn't dress up as in years past...had some ideas last night but no Halloween makeup and our corner store was closed - so I didn't wear a costume. It felt weird. Last year I was some sort of clown - my "clown hair" sticking from underneath my hat was put together with brightly colored curling ribbon and Ron's coveralls did just fine for my pants - his favorite flannel shirt with the holes in the sleeves - well, let's just say I understand now why it's his favorite....just really comfortable. I love driving to work in my costume - it's interesting because everyone is so busy driving and cutting in and changing lanes that they don't even notice that the person sitting behind the wheel in the car next to them has a bright red rubber nose and a plastic cigar tucked behind their ear. People are in such a hurry these days.
So anyway, this year, I don't know. Call it weariness or something - I just wasn't into it. Scott and Tina's separation is wearing on my heart these days - and on my mind too. I'm angry, sad, confused, and just plain tired of trying to figure how two people who seemed so in love could let it get away. Please understand that I am grateful to have Scott here after what we went through in August when he went so far away - it just takes some getting used to.
I was talking to a friend yesterday(you know who you are :) and she was telling me that her life has changed drastically also, having separated from her husband. But she has a new Friend now - she is seeking our Father and the more she talks with Him, the more comfortable it is for her. That's kind of the way things happen - we can be in the deepest valleys, but somehow God lifts us up and although we may not feel like we are on a mountain top, we know that we are safe and being taken care of. And we know that this too - whatever it may be - shall pass.
I guess my writer's block is chipping away - it feels good to be back.
Tonight, as we sit in the "sticks" with only two trick or treaters - Princess Veronica and King Something Luke (a character from one of Luke's video games) - having rung our doorbell, I am feeling kind of nostalgic. Years ago, when Scott and Laurie were Luke and Veronica's age, it was always hectic around here on halloween. Now, they are the parents and it's funny - what goes around comes around: "You can't eat all that candy now - you won't have any left when you get home." Or "don't be ridiculous, you HAVE to wear your jacket - it matches your princess costume just fine." I chuckle thinking of it all.
Protestants also observe Reformation Day today....the day that we observe Martin Luther's posting of his 95 Thesis proclaiming the "gospel in a nutshell" - that by grace we are saved through faith.
One year, when I was teaching Tuesday night Confirmation classes, Pastor and the rest of the teachers had decided to have a Reformation Day party. If we or the kids were going to wear a costume, it had to be biblical in nature. So, having worn my very best Pillsbury Dough Boy get up during working hours, I came home, put on a fuzzy white sweater with my white food service uniform pants and a fluffy white winter hat with flaps, and a pair of white mittens and went to the party dressed as - a sheep! I was rather creative back then. Of course some of the kids thought I looked like a bunny.
Just got home from our friend's house next door. Put a mask on and went trick or treating to see if they had any good candy. Nestle's Crunch Bars - worth the trip, especially since we talked for about half an hour about everything under the sun. I love those impromptu visits.
Better go now - Lilly is getting restless and has her rope toy in her mouth so I guess that means, "let's play mom!"
Laurie will send us lots of pictures tomorrow of Kasey's Halloween adventures. Can't wait to see them. I wonder how many candy bars he had tonight? Ahhh, Laurie, PAYBACK TIME!!
God bless our troops and those who wait.

"You WILL be back tomorrow, right?"

I had a new staff member start this week...a very nice lady and it seemed she was going to work out just fine. But on Monday, as the day ended, she looked pretty tired. I said - you WILL be back tomorrow, right? She laughed and said that she would be.
Of course, when new staff members start, we like them to think we are organized...like a well oiled machine that hums along like an expensive diesel engine on the most expensive pick up truck you can buy (Ron's dream). Are there any offices that work like that? Well, not in my world. We truly are a well oiled machine...but there's a little water mixed in there so it doesn't hum too quietly sometimes. But it all gets done somehow.
Anyway, our new girl did return on Tuesday and she came back yesterday as well. And I thought: well, I guess we must be doing something right. I took her to a different part of campus at noontime to show her around a little bit and we had lunch together too. She said our office is a lot busier than she thought it would be but she is learning things already. Great to know she is such a quick learner, I thought.
This morning when I arrived at work at 7:30 and there was a voice mail waiting for me. It was the new girl - she had called at 6:35 this morning. "I will not be returning," she said, "I don't think the job is a good fit for me." I called her back immediately but she didn't answer and so I left her a voicemail and said that I felt bad that she wasn't returning and did I do something to offend her...did any of us do anything to offend her? She called me back at 3 o'clock and said it was nothing we did...she's just not ready to return to an office environment. I had looked in her desk drawer earlier in the day and found her parking tag, her id card, and her keys. This means that she would have had to walk to her car, remove the parking tag and return to the office and put everything in her desk drawer and then leave, knowing that this job wasn't going to work out. How difficult that must have been for her...as well as the call she made this morning. I felt pretty dejected all day, more for her than for me. I was disappointed for our office, but also for her.
It will be December before we find another person to fill her position. We have two other positions open so will probably hire all three staff members at the same time.
So, tomorrow will be another day. Lots to do -there always is. Seems like the weeks fly by - the days sometimes crawl a little bit though. Know the feeling?
With Wendy's son soon to be back in his home town - he returned to his home base recently and Wendy was there when he stepped off the plane - it's so good to know that my friend now knows the comfort of not waking in the middle of the night wondering where Jay is and whether he is on a mission. God does bring us comfort during times like that - He makes us realize that He is the only one we can trust our loved ones to because as awesome of a task as that might seem to us, it's an everyday gift of love He gives to us all. He has the answers to all the questions we ask over and over again -we don't always "get it" the first time we ask Him...but He is patient. I wonder if He ever says, "You WILL be back tomorrow, won't you?"
My answer? Dear Lord, yes. (Do you think it's ok if I go back to Him BEFORE tomorrow?).
Blessings to you all and may God bless our troops and those who wait.

Coming home...and leaving.

As I sit here tonight giving thanks for the soldiers returning home this week from the sand, I also give thanks for the soldiers who are leaving this week for their time in the sandbox. What they do is not an ordinary thing - and is not a journey anyone should take lightly. Now I fully realize that unless you've walked in the shoes, a person can't realize the gravity of what this means to a soldier (sailor, marine or airman), and to his or her family. When your child calls and says, "we got our orders, mom" it puts a very real face on the war. I've been down that road 3 times and it will probably be a journey we will take again in the next year or two with one or both of our soldiers. The tears are very real, the sleepless nights are not a dream; the prayers that are constantly on our lips and in our hearts bombard our Father without ceasing. And anyone reading this who has experienced it will be the first one to nod their head in agreement.
And so I thank all of you whose child or husband or wife or dad or mom or brother or sister...or friend..has been to the sand. I may not ever meet you, but you are my dearest friends because we understand each other. We are the ones who will pray and support the soldiers now deployed and offer understanding and comfort to their loved ones who wait at home. Oh, don't get me wrong - I know that many, many people are praying for our troops and every word spoken from their sincere and faithful hearts are so appreciated and welcomed. It's just that those of us who walk the same path need to keep one another company on the journey.
As I mentioned last week, Ron and I watched a series written and produced by Ken Burns called "The War." It was about WWII. The hundreds of thousands of men and women who left home and never returned. Their courage, their friendships, the lives they lived moment by moment in the trenches or in the forests or on beaches far away as bombs and mortar rained down on them. It was a series that was VERY difficult to watch because it was so gruesome and sad at times. That's what war is, right? Still, if these men and women and the families who loved them could endure it - make the sacrifices they made - how can I turn it off when it gets too difficult to watch? Don't I at least owe them the time it takes for them to tell us their stories? Sometimes war is too much to think about, isn't it?
Well, it's all in how you look at it. War DOES change us... it can make our faith grow - not only in God, but in human nature and the goodness people are capable of sharing. I've seen that goodness, and experienced the faith. It made me stronger as a mom and wife and friend. It makes us better - lets us love people better.
Troops - whether coming, or going, or serving on our home soil - will never be forgotten for their efforts, for their courage and for their sacrifice. They may be one in a million who serve our nation and I know that figure is a low estimate - but they each truly are an army of one.
And I love them all.

Football...and therefore, traffic.


Are you ready for some football? Monday night football hasn't visited our area in 13 years but tonight, the Bills take on the Cowboys right here in WNY.
And the traffic I ran into from the moment I left work was, well, interesting. SUVs with 4 or 5 people in all of them - and faces painted red and white and blue (not necessarily because they are patriotic...just die hard Buffalo Bills fans). Cars with Bills flags flying from the windows on both sides of their cars; passengers telling the driver it's safe to change lanes (and the drivers believed them). All the way home - all 85 minutes of the trip - these were my traveling companions along the interstate. It's ok - I finally got home and now I am not budging...well, just from the computer to the TV. (teehee...I AM ready for some football).
I requested the day off tomorrow - I have to go for a mammogram (fun times) and I also have lots to do around the house that didn't get done over the weekend (because little Miss Veronica was here and we went on a field trip Saturday. Yesterday I was going to go into the office to clear a few things off my desk but making a fried chicken dinner with all the trimmings - including a homemade apple pie - kind of got in the way.
This morning when I went into the office and saw my desk I thought: the apple pie was worth it.
Yup, definitely worth watching Scott and Ron feed their faces.
Tonight, as my friend Wendy and her family wait for Jay to return to his home base, I can only imagine how excited they must be as they wait there for him. Lord please bless his journey home. I hope there aren't any football games to hold him up - the last thing he needs is traffic. :)
God's blessings my friends.

Five Words to live by (and for)...

I AM OUT OF IRAQ!!!! These words my friend Wendy forwarded to me in an email this morning...her son is finally not "in country" as they say. As I read the words, the days and thoughts of my own emails proclaiming that about my own children came flooding back to me. Anyone will tell you that you have to walk in the shoes to understand the gravity and thanksgiving in reading or hearing those five words. There are no words to describe the joy...or the relief...or the flood of tears that come when a soldier's family finally realize that it's over and he/she is coming home. When you get the news, you don't care where you are...where the flood of relief will hit...who will be the first one that you hug when the news finally sinks in. So tonight Wendy, I am wishing that I could have been there when you got the news. But since there are many miles between us, I hope you know that at least I was able to shed some tears with you - because I love your soldier too. And I am thrilled that you are finally getting this news. I hope that the person who received that first hug realizes the joy behind it and the relief and thanksgiving. Chances are they did not...but I hope you can feel the one I am sending to you. THANK YOU JESUS!

Now I have another friend who visits from time to time...her name is Kim. Her older son Chuck served in the Army and got out...then her youngest son Ben joined and is about to graduate from Basic...and Chuck re-enlisted. I can't believe that Ben is old enough. Kimmy...I am so proud of them both - and I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Pride is mixed in there somewhere I'm sure....just remember that there are a lot of us here who will be with you in this...no matter where the Army sends them. God bless them Kimmy - and may He bring you His peace at all times.

Nothing personal to report today...it's all about other moms and their soldiers. About old friends and renewed friendships and the blessings that are in all of these. It's about those five words that a family lives for.

God, please bless our troops...and those of us who wait. You know our hearts...and You know our trust in you dear Lord. And you know the courage and strength they hold in THEIR hearts.

For you do not give us a spirit of fear, Lord...only hope and trust. And faith.