Substance.

"Now Faith is the substance of all things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen."
Hebrews 11:1

It's been five days since I've been here - oh I've been here and tried to post, (there are three drafts that I have to get rid of) but for the situation our family is in, every time I started to type, the words felt terribly inadequate. Last night, I was emotionally drained and knew that nothing would sound right so I did an online jigsaw puzzle and went to bed. And prayed myself to sleep.
You see, two of our children, Scott and Tina, are having a very rough time of it and I feel so helpless. My prayers feel so feeble. I literally sobbed all the way home yesterday, and "talked it out" with our Father. Some days I can do the work thing, travel to and from work and not cry a single tear. Then there are days like yesterday when I crossed out many of the things on my to do list (accomplished), but barely managed to get to the car after work before I just let it out. In the end, when I got home, there was just sadness and helplessness.
And still, when I think of the above Scripture verse - one which I memorized years and years ago, I am assured of one thing. God, in His divine wisdom, has given us the knowledge that try as we may, it's not up to us. Not at all. BUT, He doesn't prevent us from insisting that it is in our hands. It's the human nature thing. That's what gives our faith the truest test. Back and forth, back and forth - You can take it from me, God...no wait, not yet. We say we are strong in our faith and yet, we don't trust it all to Jesus. I love Jesus, but it's so darned hard to trust Him with these things. Oh I do trust my eternity to Him, and wouldn't you think that I could trust to Him the most precious blessings God has given to me - my children - as well? When Laurie and Stephen were deployed, I think most people at work were surprised that I wasn't a basket case. Well. at least not on the outside. It was because, once I got through the initial terror and anxiety, I realized that THEY were trusting that I was trusting them to the Lord...and rarely did I take them back from Him. I did occasionally, but mostly I knew that wouldn't do any good at all - especially for the kids.
And now, when the tears have been shed (and there will be many more I am sure) , and the disbelief becomes reality, and every moment throughout, there will still be the comfort of Hebrews 11:1 - God's Word and my faith through God's grace. He's gotten me 60 years into this life, so who am I to let things change now?
His grace - more and more He is teaching me that it is sufficient for us all. I just need to remember that from moment to moment on each and every day.
May our troops - and those who wait - feel His love and strength and may it give them courage.
Blessings my friends.

Little things mean a lot.

Well, we are slowly getting used to the fact that Kasey took his mommy and daddy home yesterday. But oh, getting up this morning was tough. No little feet running in the house shouting the things that 2 year olds like to shout first thing in the morning when mommies and daddies are still trying to catch those last 40 winks. No good morning hug from Laurie. Most of you know what I mean. When we got home from the airport yesterday, I walked around the house looking for the little things they usually leave behind. A sock or bib or toy. No deal - Laurie packed EVERYTHING. Kasey packed all his toys - he was so cute running around the house the other night - gathering all of his cars and trucks. The books and magazines that he arranged on the coffee table in the family room to serve as the race course for his cars are still exactly where he left them. When I dust the table next week - I will have to move them, but next week is soon enough. The room that Laurie and Stephen slept in is neat as a pin - and Kasey's room...well...it looks like a little boy slept there. This is good. I will leave it that way for awhile yet...and then put it back the way it was before they got here. :(
Today, there is the family reunion at my cousin's cottage. We all decided we should have a cousin's reunion while at my cousin Tina's funeral luncheon. Most of our parents - my mom and dad, and my aunts and uncles, are gone now. But I am really looking forward to seeing my cousins and catching up - got the pasta cooking right now for a casserole of good old fashioned mac and cheese. We are supposed to take a dish to pass, meat for grilling if we want to (not me - with all those yummy pot luck dishes, I can forego the hot dogs), and any alcoholic beverages we would like to take. They will provide the soft drinks - sounds good to me. It's less to carry and to remember one dish and my purse when I leave the picnic is a very easy thing. Ron won't be going with me, but I know where the lake is, so I won't get lost getting out there (she says with confidence).
As I get back into my routine next week, I'll be missing the kids. Little things mean a lot - and even though there weren't any little things left behind, when I go from room to room, oh the memories of yet another wonderful time with my soldiers and their little man.
God bless your weekend everyone, and may He bless our troops.
Sue

Starting to get those "see you again soon" blues.

In just a few days, my little Kasey and his mommy and daddy will be heading out again. Not good for THIS grandma and grandpa - in fact my eyes are tearing up already at the thought of it. SO, what's a grandma to do? Well, this morning we went out for pancakes and eggs, we went to an RV dealer where Kasey went through every RV with an open door (so did all the adults with him). Then we took a slow drive home and stopped for ice cream. The kids - including a very tired Kasey - are up taking a nap right now. I have a turkey in the oven with homemade stuffing and we will have all the trimmings to go with it. Scott and Tina and Luke and Veronica will be coming over as well so this will be holiday meal that we never get to eat together. Veronica will stay the night so she can have some extra time with her cousin. I don't think anybody will get much sleep tonight - and it's perfectly alright with this grandma if I don't sleep two winks. (One wink would be good, though).
As time winds down on this wonderful visit with the kids, I am thinking more and more about the days when my job won't keep us here...a time when we can get in our RV and go wherever God takes us - where Laurie and Stephen happen to be stationed or, God willing, where Scott and Tina and the kids are living. A day when we can say, "see you soon" and know that those words are true - not just an easier way of saying "goodbye."
I'll probably be pretty busy the next few days and may not check in. Just know that I am thinking of you and praying for those you love who serve and for all of the troops - my own two precious soldiers included.
Blessings,
Sue

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Yesterday we went to a State Park about an hour away from us. Took the canoe, the fishing poles, some homemade macaroni salad and some hot dogs. And of course the family went along to boot, including Lilly (she slept like a baby last night and is still sleeping. It will take her days to get over the outing. Funny doggie.
So the kids - little and big - went canoeing and swimming and fishing and had a wonderful time. And grandma just sat and watched and smiled. And played referee with Veronica and Kasey sometimes. They really are cute together.

Got a little sunburn on my face but mostly freckles. :)

This will be a more difficult week than last because the kids are going home. We probably won't see them again until Christmastime - you know the drill if you are in a military family. Hope it doesn't rain today - want to play some more kickball with Kasey in the back yard.

There are other things on my heart this week besides Laurie, Stephen and Kasey returning home. Scott and Tina need to iron things out about a lot of issues - I've tried to stay happy and not let it affect my mood with having Kasey and his mommy and daddy here, but let's face it - I gave birth to two children and one of them is hurting right now. It's something our whole family is feeling. Stephen was the first person I told - we can talk about a lot of things and I am grateful to have that with a son in law. I didn't want the bad news to interfere with their stay, but didn't want to break it to Laurie over the phone. We give her too much bad news on the phone.

If it's not one thing, it's another.
Ron is grocery shopping - yet again. Funny. We were supposed to go to a theme park today but we are having thunderstorms so we are putting it off til tomorrow or Thursday. Yesterday was worth a thousand memories - we have more yet to make.

Thank you, Lord.

Blessings to you my friends.

Complete.

Woke up this morning to a wonderful thing - a full house. Kasey (oh, and his mommy and daddy) arrived this past weekend. We were so anxious for that day to get here...and then it seemed like forever before they got here. But they finally arrived and when we saw Laurie and Stephen, we saw Kasey as well - not being carried, but walking along with his little back pack on wheels. He knew us right away - big grin from ear to ear as soon as he saw Ron and I. And he knew us...oh I said that already didn't I? Well, it's just so great because it's been 6 months since we last saw him and that's a long time in the life of a two year old (almost forever for a grandma and grandpa).

So they are here - and this morning's menu is French Toast. Kasey is sleeping in a big boy's bed now so Laurie's bed is pushed up against the wall and has a quilt stuffed there just in case he moves around a lot. We don't want him to get caught between the bed and the wall. We also bought a bedrail for the other side of the bed so he won't fall out. There is a little potty seat in the bathroom (Sponge Bob Square Pants) (it's been awhile since we had one of those). I must say that Kasey is the perfect example of "snips and snails and puppy dog tails." He is inquisitive and happy and LOVES to play outside and swing on the swing in our back yard (high gamma).

Laurie and Stephen look great. I loved watching them in the back yard last night - with Kasey.

The glow is still there - Laurie just lights up when she is with Stephen. Good for a mom's eyes to see since we live so far apart.

So today is get out the wading pool day - whewwww, sure is hot here. Then we will go to the playground and do whatever else they want to do. Tomorrow Laurie and I will go shopping for food and party stuff for the luau party we are having in the back yard this weekend. It's been awhile since we've had a party - I'd say that it's just about time.

Ask me if I am happy....and thankful too. God has truly blessed us. And absence truly DOES make the heart grow fonder.

May God bless all of our troops - and those who love them.

It may be a few days before I get back here...but all of you soldier moms and grandmas understand.

Blessings my friends.

Sue

On Saturday afternoon, as I was sitting in the garage during the garage sale, I happened to glance at the bookshelves full of books Ron was trying to sell. He belongs to a military book club so there are always plenty of military books lying around. One of them - American Soldier, by General Tommy Franks, I had been meaning to read for about two years - just never got around to it. So, I picked it out of the many books and began reading. It's going to be a page turner.In the prologue, General Franks talks about the beginning of the Afghanistan war against the Taliban which began in October of 2001, and of course, the order he received to move into Iraq in March, 2003. After reading only two or three pages in this book, so many memories came flooding back. Where we’ve been. And where we are today.
My favorite subject in school was American History. Mr. McClure, my teacher, was an awesome guy. He was pretty young, but not a brand new teacher. During that year, I would learn that he was fair, dedicated, and was proud to be teaching the history of our nation. I think maybe that’s where I truly realized the goodness of living in America and stopped taking it for granted as young kids do. We had been through a lot for a young nation. And would go through much more as the years went on.
As the days of that American History class went on, the troops began to build in a country called South Vietnam. A young man in my class would die in battle just a few years later in Vietnam. And a young sailor, whose ship was hit off the coast of Vietnam, would someday be my husband - and would instill the pride he has for our country in our daughter Laurie, and she would become the first of two stars in the blue star banner hanging in my window. She would bring us to know what pride is all about - not just our pride in her and Stephen as their parents, but pride in all who serve. And thanks for those who serve beside them.
Fast forward to July 4th, 2007. Our nation has come through 9/11, and we still battle those who think terrorism is far better than freedom. But our young people - men and women alike - continue to fight for this nation born from 13 colonies and a group of men and women just as willing to stand up for Independence.
They are the ones - past and present - who we celebrate this day - and the ones we mourn for in their sacrifices made.
America, America, God shed His grace on thee.
God bless our troops.