Life is what it is.

I found out today that I might not have that chance at the promotion after all. In the Civil Service system, an employer has to work off of an eligibility list based on exam grades. Mine was good - but not quite high enough to make the first cut. So if someone in the pool of interviewees wants the job and is qualified, the new person is chosen from that group. I must admit that I was hoping I'd get the job - it would mean a sizeable pay raise but more importantly than that, my retirement income would be higher. It's ok though - I'm not giving up - just not going to get my hopes up. I have a wonderful job that pays very well - that won't change, nor will my love for my current job change diminish.

Someone said to me today, "life is what it is." Oh, how true.

I'd like to ask for your prayers for some people I love - a military mom, Wendy, and her son Jay. Jay's room mate, mission mate, and his best friend were killed on Monday in Iraq when a soldier was killed in action. This brave soldier leaves behind a young wife and two little children.

Dear God be with them and with the families of all who have lost their lives - it's been a terribly costly month over there.

In just a few weeks, Laurie, Stephen and our little Kasey will be here for a good visit. We are sooo looking forward to this-it's been nearly 6 months since we've seen them. I don't do well with long separations.

Tomorrow is another day - another chance to do things the way God would have me do.

With its ups, and downs; its blemishes, and its sweet goodness....life is what it is. Precious.

Be blessed my friends.

Letters from home.

This is going to be a long one.

Ok, today I decided it was a good day to tackle Laurie's room. It has two dressers in it - both filled with clothes she no longer wears and I have her blessing to either sell them in our garage sale next month, give them to the Good Will, or put them out at the curb. It's not an easy task when you're a mom walking down memory lane and trying to be objective. "NO, you CAN'T keep that Susan - it won't fit you, and it doesn't fit Laurie, and Veronica won't grow into it for 10 years at least." I said that over and over again today as I went through those dressers. Despite my emotions, I was able to sort the clothes into the three piles I had planned. Then I went through each pile again and finally decided I was done sorting. Not bad, I thought, except for the fact that I could remember Laurie wearing every single thing I had sorted. Then I got to the prom dresses in the closet...not a good thing. I had already used all the kleenex I'd brought upstairs with me - luckily there were some up there besides.

Then I got to her bookcase - this put me over the edge. As I looked at the little piles of pictures Laurie had taken over the years, I glanced at the pictures and then at the clothes all sorted on the bed. You guessed it - the prom dresses, the skirts, the ecru colored dress I bought her when she played first flute at the marching band concert at school - all of them in the pictures...all of them on the bed, now neatly folded and ready, hopefully, for someone else to wear.

And finally, there were the boxes and the duffel bag under her bed. Now, you must understand that everytime the kids visit and I am cleaning the rooms for them, these boxes and duffel bag come out from under the bed so I can dust. Then, because of course we are always too busy to think about it when the kids are here, they always are forgotten. So today was the day I had to look at the contents - garage sale, good will, or curb?

None of the above.

There, neatly stored, were the contents that I hadn't expected to see. Letters. Probably dozens and dozens of letters addressed to Laurie at various places and addressed to several different ranks - but all of them addressed to Laurie. PV2 Laurie at basic and AIT training, SPC Laurie at the post she spent three years at, and finally, SGT Laurie. She must have saved every letter we ever sent. I read some of them - and as I read them, I could actually remember writing them. There were the letters I wrote to her when she was in basic and AIT - when Ron's mom was living here and terminally ill with cancer. Those were often written after midnight when I finally was ready for bed and could sit and write a letter. Phone calls were scarce in basic - it kept us connected and I think it helped me miss her just a tiny bit less to know that she would be reading it in a couple of days. Laurie told me after her basic training that there was one time when she was feeling pretty worn out and afraid that she wasn't going to pass her final PT test. She said that she sat at her locker and read all of the cards and letters Ron and I had sent...and she said she knew that we were praying for her and she felt at peace.

I guess what I'm saying is that you never know when a letter from home - or a letter to from someone who cares about you - is going to really be important.

When I finish Laurie's room tomorrow night after I get home from work, I will dust under her bed again, and push those boxes and duffel bag back where I found them. If she kept them, then they will stay there for now. When we sell this house, she will have to make the decision. But for now, her letters from home are keepers.

That makes me smile.

God's blessings.

A weekend of remembrance.

A holiday weekend - for most of us, it will mean enjoying that extra cup of coffee at home in our pjs on Monday when we would normally be commuting. Or, being able to sleep just a little bit later than 5:30 am. If most of us are honest, we have been thinking about this long weekend all week long.

It's ok - we're supposed to think that way. Long weekends are meant to be enjoyed -right? And yet, we enjoy this extra day off not because WE have earned it, but rather others have earned it for us through their sacrifice.

Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial beginning of summer - the first picnic of the year, the first camping weekend, or putting the boat or canoe in the water for the first time...all of these things happen on Memorial Day weekend. I can remember our family picnics with my parents and sisters - we'd meet at a park with my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Oh the potato salad and macaroni salad; the hot dogs and burgers...and the desserts....yum.

And it was a time for buying geraniums and visiting the cemetaries where my great grandparents and other loved ones were laid to rest.

The most memorable part of that visit was the drive past the Field of Honor, where row upon row of American flags waved proudly marking the final resting place of those who had served our country. When I was little, I knew that the flags commemorated the military - but it became more meaningful as I got older. I thought about who they might have been - were they sons or daughters; moms or dads; husbands and wives? Were they in your circle of friends? The boy or girl next door? They likely enjoyed a Memorial Day picnic with THEIR families, and perhaps saw flags waving row upon row - and were inspired to serve.

Whoever they were, I pray they know that the freedom they fought and died for is still alive. Throughout wars of the past...and the present, they have been asked to sacrifice a great deal - too often, ALL they had to give. And they will never be forgotten.

May God be ever near as we take this weekend to remember those who fell serving our nation. May we be forever grateful to them - and to those who serve today.

Conversation has changed....

Well, you know how gung ho we've been in the Western NY area about our Buffalo Sabres ~ it's all we talked about - around the water cooler, in the grocery store, anywhere we went. All you would see were Sabres flags flying from cars, magnets and posters all over the place. In any given crowd, at least one third of the people were wearing the Sabres blue and gold.
Today, the talk was still the Sabres...but it wasn't the anticipation of tonight's game. It was the disappointment about this past Saturday's game...and how we lost the series. The Ottawa Senators beat us in overtime and it's time for our Sabres to pick up the golf clubs instead of the hockey sticks. We were favored this year to win it all. It's ok - we'll get over it. We always do.
Four Super Bowls with the Buffalo Bills..."wide right" was the closest we ever got to a win. Last year our Sabres got this far as well...and didn't win.
So, even though on Saturday we were all heart broken, by this morning most of us were already looking forward to next year. The team will be different - 6 guys on our team have contracts expiring...even our coach and the general manager have contracts expiring this year.
Sigh.
The one thing I always enjoyed in the morning was our talk radio station - the announcer always said it was the voice of Buffalo to our soldiers in Iraq who were following the Stanley Cup playoffs. And every morning a soldier in Iraq from the Buffalo area would say he or she was cheering on the Sabres. I'll miss that too.
A fellow at work brought in a football this morning - it was funny how he broke the ice. None of us had talked about Saturday's loss until he came in with the football. It was the laugh we needed to get us started. So now, I guess we'll have to start talking about the Buffalo Bills. Training camp starts in just about a month...and by the time football season is barely a month old, the hockey season (we call it the road to the cup) will begin again for us believers.
It was a great ride we had - but I'm staying on the bandwagon - 'cause you just never know.
Blessings,
Sue

Puppies!!

Awhile back, Kbug posted about her new puppies. I enjoyed the fact that her son asked her to take care of his puppy until he was able to take it home with him. Puppies are a wonderful thing. There is so much love wrapped up in those little bodies - and so much fun to look forward to. When we adopted Lilly last August, she was still a puppy who had traveled a long way in her short life. She'd had 9 puppies already, been in two different shelters and had given all that was in her to keep those puppies sustained. She had sacrificed nearly all of her own strength in giving it to her puppies. We have a wonderful veterinarian who has an excellent and loving staff (they all cried with us when we had to have Shelby put to sleep last May) and with patience and excellent care and some tlc on our part, Lilly pulled through. She is a loving and very wonderful doggie.

A few months ago, Scott and Tina adopted a terrier mix - adorable, but feisty. They named her Cupcake. Finally, she is calming down and seems to be getting along famously with their 3 cats. (shaking my head here at the thought of that :). But on Sunday, Tina told me that they had adopted another puppy - a long haired Dachschund mix. This will be Luke's puppy and he will take care of her. (that remains to be seen cause he is only 9, but his intentions are good). Her name is Muffin. So they have a Cupcake, a Muffin, and then the cats...Skittles, Rocky, and Starburst...all living under one roof. Just one big happy family...(oh my gosh). I can't wait to meet their newest addition - they just make my heart melt and all the thoughts of the work go right out the window. (But I sure am glad Lilly is trained).

At times we hear stories about US Military units in Iraq adopting homeless puppies or kittens...what a joy that must be for all of them - including the puppy. And nothing brings more joy to the heart of a nursing home patient than a soft, furry little puppy.

They sure do bring lots of love into so many lives. Yup...they are a good thing.

Blessings my friends.

And Monday through Friday went WHERE?

This week seems to have vanished int0 thin air. I remember vaguely thinking about posting something on Tuesday or Wednesday but I guess it's pretty obvious it went no further than that. I haven't visited anyone else's blogs (sorry) and it seems the only computer time I've logged is processing summer financial aid for our students. That's not good either...except for the students.
The week has been beautiful in terms of the weather here in WNY and as our students saw the end of classes for the 2006/07 academic year, we saw moms and dads parked two and three deep in front of the dorms as they moved Johnny or Susie out for another year. In late August, many of those same moms and dads will be there again, hauling everything back up to the dorm for the 07/08 year. It's quite amusing watching these students (and their parents). Students are still into the social scene with their friends - gathered on the sidewalk in groups of 2 or 3
(or 8 or 10) as the parents keep dragging the student's belongings to the car. As the parents ask questions of the student, some students just kind of act like it's an inconvenience to answer their mom's or dad's questions. Funny - some things never change.
As the students leave in various numbers during the last week of school, according to their exam schedule, our combined staff and student parking lots empty out as well. So on Thursday, feeling great about the weather, and feeling truly blessed about the healing process in my knee, I decided it was time to vacate the handicapped spot and start walking from the parking lot. Because I get to work by 7:30 each morning, I can usually find a spot in the nearest lot across the street from our buildings. It's not much of a distance at all, but has many spots of uneven cement (also known as Sue's enemy number 1 :). So, although I am not into power walking yet, it's a good feeling to be out of the handicapped spot and back into exercising a bit more. You'd have to "walk in the shoes" to understand what it means.
This weekend, we are getting our travel trailer ready to sell. Ron thinks we can get more by selling it to someone now than by trading it in when we buy our fifth wheeler when I retire. It's in great shape, is very clean, and since it's only 4 years old, we are hoping it will sell pretty quick. I'll miss the camping this summer - it's so nice just to get away from it all but practicality kind of rules right now.
One thing hasn't changed since I last posted. Our soldiers are still in harm's way and loved ones are still getting the most dreaded visits. It's hard for me to put into words how I feel about the war, but I know how I feel about our military - and about the anxiety we all feel as their parents. As more and more families are receiving that tragic news, I wonder what it must have been like in past wars...when loved ones didn't hear from their soldiers for months...sometimes years..at a time, and then received a telegram from the War Department. It must have been horrible for them. Today, though, we are at least blessed with the possibility of phone calls and emails from our kids over there...I don't know what we would have done when Laurie and Stephen were deployed had it not been for emails and phone calls. This Mother's Day weekend, I am praying so hard that all military moms can receive a phone call or email from their loved one serving. We feel so blessed to have our two soldiers stateside - and we know that it's not guaranteed that they won't be deployed again. But still, Ron and I are so thankful.

Someone just knocked on the front door...Ron went to the door and it was a little boy...his dad was in a white van out front. The little boy handed Ron his delivery and said "tell her Happy Mother's Day." It was a beautiful vase of fresh flowers from Stephen, Laurie and Kasey. The card said..."Happy Mother's Day, hope you have a great day...WE MISS YOU."
I am still bawling.

That truly does just about make the week for me - it will be complete tomorrow when Scott and Tina and Veronica and Luke come over for dinner and we call our soldiers so that everyone has the chance to chat.

May God bless all moms this weekend...and the children we love far more than they know. And who also love us more than we could ever know.

Life is a blessing.

A Tale of Two Cities,

WHOA...I've really been AWOL. I've been busy at work and at home and with lots of stuff for church. It was Laurie and Stephen's birthdays last week so needed to shop and get their packages out on time (and of course un-birthday presents for Kasey). They'll be here in only two months and already, I am getting the house ready - getting the heavy stuff done so that I won't have to blitz the house two days before they get here like I always do.

And of course, there has been playoff hockey. Hence my tale of two cities post title today.

Our Buffalo Sabres managed to get past the NY Islanders in the first round - it took only 5 games.

The second round was a little more difficult - it took one of those heart attack finishes on Friday night and then an excellent win today in NYC to beat the Rangers in 6 games. New York, New York and Buffalo...two cities, at different ends of Interstate 90 and with lots of differences. NYC is big and has many sides to it...and many claims to fame. The Empire State building, Statue of Liberty, Greenwich Village. Fifth Avenue, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. And, God bless them, 9/11/2001.

Buffalo - hmmm, well we don't have all of that but we have our own claims to fame. Wide right; No goal; Niagara Falls (well, that's almost in Buffalo); America's Fair (largest county fair in the US); we have beautiful state parks practically in our backyard, and we are a great place on a great lake. We had an October storm that put the power out for days and weeks and yet as always - as we did after the Blizzard of 77 - we bounced back.

We're a little smaller market than a lot of NHL or NFL teams, we believe (and so do the SABRES and the BILLS) that we have the greatest fans in the world. We're a blue collar city, with a big dream...and we believe.

Yup, many differences; but many things unite us as well. First and foremost, 9/11. Not to mention the many many people who came through the lines at Ellis Island, many of whom would eventually find their way to Buffalo. Our cities both have rich, ethnic histories which helped shape what our cities have become.

A tale of two cities? I guess you could say that. But later this week, when our Conference final series with the Ottawa Senators begins, I have a feeling this other city I've been talking about will be routing for us.

I think it's a philosophy called: "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

We'll see.

God bless your week my friends (and if I may add: Good luck to the blue and gold!).

Sue