DARN IT. Guess I Can Use the Yarn After All.



About a week ago, Stephen came home from work and announced that Laurie wouldn't be deployed after all.
I RAN across the kitchen to the living room, where Stephen was standing by the couch.  I screamed, and cried, and hugged Stephen as he laughed, and hugged me back. It seems that someone in Stephen's new brigade, a COL, hadn't given up on it once he heard about it when Stephen was transferred there.  He had gone all the way to the top to have Laurie's deployment reversed, and told Stephen's platoon Captain that it was successful and to let Stephen know - which he did.  Because Stephen said that it was "as 100 percent certain as the Army gets, we told Scott and Vi, we told my younger sister, and our closest friends.  When Laurie returned home from officer training last weekend, we hugged her and told her how thankful we were that she was going to stay at home.  Don't get me wrong - Laurie has never shirked her duty, and we wouldn't want her to....it's just not in her.  But a legitimate change in orders and transfer to a different company was not shirking her duty - it was about several officers from Stephen's brigade trying to keep a family together for a year who hadn't had a full year together in over 4 years.  As Laurie hugged us back, she said not to count on it since her company didn't know about it yet and she didn't know if it would go through.   I didn't blog about it here or at Living A Dream because after 13 years of riding this roller coaster, I'm never quite sure of the guy in the station who controls the car we're riding in.  Know what I mean?  Is he going to listen to his own instincts or to the quiet voice telling  him to stop the ride for a little while because it's been going up and down too often?

So I had all this yarn I had purchased to make Laurie an afghan for her deployment - to wrap around her when she gets cold, or tired....or lonely for home.  And now, with Laurie not deploying, I had this wonderful dilemma about who to make an afghan for....several suggestions to me were a home for abused women, or for a nursing home - someone disadvantaged.

Laurie came home on Thursday after running errands, and checking on some things over on post.  She wasn't in the door 30 seconds when her cell rang.  She looked at the caller ID, and ran upstairs to take the call.  This was my first inkling that we were about to find out some news...and something told me it wasn't going to be happy news.  A few minutes later I heard her talking to Ron, and then she came downstairs to the kitchen where I was getting dinner ready to put in the oven.  
It seems that the 100% as sure as the Army gets turned out to be 50/50.  There is another Army officer also trying to get his orders reversed for the same reasons, and since he out ranks Laurie, it will probably swing in his favor.
Therefore, we are in preparation mode, this time for Laurie.  We were so disappointed for the kids, and for Kasey. And, okay, for us too.  Sending our little girl to such a strange place will not be easy - especially for Ron.  Alright, for me as well.  But I will use the time ahead to make sure every moment we have before she deploys is as easy as it can be. I don't know when she leaves, but it will be too soon. And every day she is over there I will keep as busy as I can trying to make it pass quickly for us all.  Every thought of her will be a prayer - for all of us.
So the dilemma about the afghan isn't as wonderful as it was, but that I CAN do this for my little girl is a blessing to me.  Now I will decide on the pattern, and knit every moment I can when she is at work during the day.  And at night after she has gone to bed.  It will be one of those gifts that I can't watch her open because it won't be done before she leaves. And even though she probably will have to leave it behind when her deployment is over because of baggage space, leaving it for someone else will be her way of  letting someone else know that they are in good hands. The hands of our Father.
I am so hoping that when this afghan is around her shoulders, she will feel not just the love between a mom and a daughter, but the prayers of a mom as well.  That she will know each knit or purl is a prayer.

Dear Lord, let her not only feel my love for her, but YOUR love which is stronger and mightier than any love.

Circle of Life - and Love.



We are getting ready for Stephen.  He'll be home soon - a blessing we never expected when he left for the sand in October.  Even though it's only been 5 months -the time has probably gone much more quickly for us than for him-I know it's been much harder on the kids with all the ups and downs. There have been changes made by the Army, promotions which are good, but have altered the course of things for Laurie and Stephen both. 
But the circle of life continues.   Kasey still goes to school every day, and Ron and I keep our routine fairly simple so that we can keep Kasey's life on an even keel too.  There's the occasional "want to go have breakfast before we go run our errands?" in the mornings after Ron takes Kasey to school.  I never turn that down. :)  And of course, the new "adventure" of shopping at the commissary because we are eligible as Kasey's guardians.  We went there last week, not heeding Laurie's advice of never shopping there on the 1st or the 15th or on Saturday.  Uh huh - she knows what she's talking about.  But life is good - complicated sometimes, but good. 
Last night was Kasey's birthday party - 13 boys and girls aged 5 and 6.  Quite an experience to plan and carry out, but one which we wouldn't have missed for anything.  Tomorrow some dear friends of Laurie and Stephen (therefore OUR dear friends as well) , and their girls, too,  are coming over for swiss steak dinner and all the fixings.  I am fighting off a cold - or something.  Shopping in the PX this morning for a couple of last minute Kasey presents was a bit difficult as the feverish and stuffy feeling started working it's gradual "magic" on my system.  I am headed for the couch in just a few minutes but first, this post.
So back to the title of my post.  I've spoken in part of the circle of life.  But the circle of love isn't so easy.  It brings tears to my eyes and wonder to my heart when I think of it. 
As I was dusting Stephen's chest of drawers the other day in preparation for his return, a small and wonderful symbol of Laurie's and Stephen's love caught my eye.  When Stephen left in October, he left his wedding band here - he often loses weight when he is over "there" so he generally leaves his wedding band here with Laurie.  She keeps it for him - wears it on a gold chain quite often.  But when she came home for President's Day weekend, she  placed it on his dresser so that it would be waiting for him when he gets home. She knew then that he would be home soon.
I gently picked it up so I could dust the dresser, and placed it lovingly back in the spot where I found it.
Life,  love, and marriage.. Faithfulness, and a steadfast love between two people all represented in a simple gold band.  The Army may keep them apart, but their love keeps them together across the miles. 
Each day I pray for them - that they are strong in their separations and safe as they wait for their reunions.  And sometimes, His answers are so clear - as clear and present as the gold band of a husband/soldier/dad waiting to come home. 

It's About the Soldier's Sibling Too. 




Several years ago when I began this blog, I mentioned that being a military mom isn't JUST about being a military mom.  There is Scott as well, our son who is back in Buffalo with his family.  After a somewhat amicable divorce from his first wife, Tina, Scott met and fell in love with Violet.  We love Vi as our daughter already, and she always makes sure we know the feeling is mutual.  She is an awesome young woman who not only loves Scott, but Veronica as well.  Tina knows this - Vi gives Veronica wonderful care every weekend when she comes to visit.   This is all good.
Recently, Vi has had some serious health issues related to Crohn's disease.  If you are familiar with this disease, you know that it is very painful and can cause serious complications.  The complications part finally caught up to Vi and she will be having surgery in a couple of weeks.  Scott has been very worried and I knew that not going to Buffalo to support them is just not an option.  Laurie realizes this and understands that I need to go and help her brother and his fiance right now. 
Got a great fare on a flight after Vi called me this morning with her surgery date, and I'll be boarding a plane to Buffalo to go and help out the kids for about 10 days.  As much as I hate to be going for the REASON I am going, I am excited that I will see Scott and Vi and Veronica more than once this year.  I hope to see some friends and extended family while I am there, but every visit that I have with others outside of my time with the kids will be a bonus.   A BIG bonus. 
Of course there are Ron and Kasey who will stay here, and that means two holes in my heart for 10 days. BIG holes.  My two men, big and small will miss me a little bit too, (I hope), but I am so thankful for the price of the flight that makes this visit so much easier on our budget, and for the income tax refund which came our way just in time.  God does bring blessings even in the difficulties of life.
And so, I need to begin my lists.  There are many:  Kasey's birthday party list, the meals I want to put in the freezer before I leave, the little incidentals I need from Walmart before I leave....socks, makeup, a pair of jeans and/or new sneakers.   And of course the little "somethings" I want to take to Scott, and Vi, to Veronica, and to Luke.
It IS about the soldier's sibling, and even though so much of my life is here in CO, those I love in Buffalo are just as much of a blessing to me and I am ALWAYS mindful of - and thankful for - them.
I can't wait to wrap my arms around them all.

I Guess It Runs In the Family



Since Laurie and Stephen are both away, Ron and I are the "parents" who now receive the emails from Kasey's teacher so we know what we are supposed to be doing and what needs to be done or what the kids are supposed to be doing as class or individual assignments.  Since we have both met his teacher, it's been a very easy transition - most of the time.  The homework was a little intimidating until I figured out the website but now things are going pretty smoothly.  Of course I always forward the emails to Laurie so she knows what is going on. 
The other day we "parents" received an email outlining a poster project the kids were being asked to do, and the plans for the Valentine's Day party.
The project - very specific - was to make a poster using 100 of the same thing - buttons, beads, anything crafty.  They are celebrating 100s week.  When I told Kasey that night at the dinner table that we needed to make a poster, I asked him what he thought he wanted to make.
"A FLAG, GRANDMA!!"
Boy after my own heart.  And so, we went to Michael's on Saturday, bought everything - we chose buttons - and started the project on Sunday morning.  Felt, GLUE (way too much glue but it was a glue stick so it made for less mess), red, white, and blue buttons.  Stars, hearts, plain buttons - all red, white, and blue.  This morning I went to Hobby Lobby to get the yellow buttons for the yellow ribbon banner which I had suggested ("GREAT IDEA, GRANDMA!!").   And of course enough white buttons for the stars.
Above you see Kasey with the finished product.  A proud little boy - not of his achievement, but that it represents his pride in his mom and dad.
Things have changed here - we will not be moving.  Stephen might be coming home earlier than we expected and Laurie will be deploying much sooner than she and Stephen (or Ron and I) ever expected.
Kasey doesn't know any of the changes yet - doesn't know that his Mom will now be one of those soldiers we pray for at dinner (as his Daddy is now) when we add to the blessing, "and please Lord, watch over the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan."
Another difficult year ahead - but his pride runs deep.  And as I mentioned earlier, a boy after my own heart.
Your prayers are appreciated, very, very much.
God bless our troops.

Three Up, Three Down.  Almost There!


Last night, when Laurie checked in to let us know she was almost to her base where she will do her officer training, she told us that Stephen had made the selection list for E-8.  Master Sgt.  3 up, 3 down.  His selection number on the list is low, so we expect that very soon - before his deployment is over ~ he will be,  officially, a MSG. 

In early October, just before he left for the sand, we were going somewhere in Stephen's truck.  I went to get in the back seat and there were folders and papers all over the place.  Stephen gathered them all up and apologized for the truck being in such disarray.  He told me he was up for E-8 and he was getting all his stuff ready to send to the board before he left for the sand.  He was really hoping to make it in this year's selection. 

Last deployment, he was so thankful that none of his soldiers were lost - they all came home.  They did missions 6 out of 7 days a week during that deployment and sometimes when he called, he sounded so tired.  Usually it would be in the pre-dawn hours of the morning his time, dinner time for us.  But he made sure that  the first thing he did when he got back in was to call Laurie at school, and then Kasey at our house. His words were sometimes few, but they counted. And to hear his voice was music to our ears. 

A military couple gives up a lot.  Time together, time with their children, living in the grit and grime of deserts far away, and wondering just when they will see and hold each other again.  They are humble about what they do - "it's my job"  they say, and when you thank a soldier, they thank YOU for appreciating them. 

Yes, maybe it's not humble to announce achievements.  But I do, as we all do when our kids do well. It's because I am happy and thankful for THEM.  Nothing they work for is easily attained - like everyone else in the world, they know that if it's worth working for, it's reachable.  No matter how long it takes. 
We love Stephen as our own son. 

Three up, three down.  I can't wait to see it on our soldier son. 

Dog Tags.....and The Word.

Warmth is the new frame of mind we'll soon be in as we prepare for our move from Colorado to Texas
(and I use the word "warm" loosely because we will be headed into more than just your average warm temps), Laurie and Stephen's appeal to remain here has been officially denied and so we are moving forward...or South, actually. 

I thought it was time I dressed up my blogs - to give them a face lift and make them a bit more individual. Hope you like what you are seeing - it's fun and since it's been nearly 5 years since Two Star Mom was begun, I thought different would be good. The words you read, however, will be from the same heart.

I joined a new "extras" website this morning - wanted to find a picture that captures what being a military mom is all about - at least for me.  And I think I found the perfect one - the dog tags draped over the Bible that you see at the right of this post.

So much of our lives - Ron's and mine - has been about dog tags.  Ron and his Navy service, and both of us as parents (and parents in law) of two children in the Army. And as I've said from the beginning of this blog 5 years ago, it's not just about my children who serve, but my other kids, and my grand kids,  who need just as much love, and support, and as many prayers as my soldiers do. 
And that's where the Bible part of this enters the picture - The Word in which we trust.  It's the truth, the promises, the assurance that God is with us - and with all of our family. The military moms website many of us belong to claims Psalm 91 over all of our troops - I claim it, amongst other passages - over all of my family.

Verse 11 says:  "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;"

I have always believed that God's path for us is pre-ordained, and ironically, my friend Sandy mentioned in a comment on my other blog this morning that perhaps there is a fate filled reason for the denial of the appeal to remain where we are.
And I also believe that mankind has often interfered with the plans God makes for us. Is this God's ever protective hand leading us and guiding us along His path instead of the one the appeal might have changed?
Perhaps so.  We will probably never know the answer to that.  But we can trust, can't we?
His Word behind a set of dog tags - it's good enough for this mom.

Still Just Our Little Girl.



Last week, this roller coaster stopped in a really good place:
after two of the longest years of her life, Laurie received her Commission as a 1LT. as she earned her Masters Degree in Physician Assistant studies.

Hours and hours of study, two or three exams per week, long hours of classroom instruction, and many nights when more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep just wasn't to be had, she completed the Armed Forces Physician Assistant program. It is the complete 4 year civilian PA program done in 2 years with absolutely no shortcuts. They earn their Bachelor's degree the first year, and all of their Graduate studies are completed in the second year, with their clinical rotations and the exams which are administered to the students after each rotation is complete. To say that these students took 75-100 exams is not an exaggeration. In fact, I know this is a low estimate.

As Ron and I stood side by side listening to (first) the commission, and then the oath of office ~ administered by a Captain who was also Laurie's fellow graduate ~ I thought back to Laurie as a basic training graduate so many years ago. Nearly 13 years older than she was back then, with a few more smile lines around her eyes, she is still our baby girl. And as Ron and Kasey pinned a bar on one side, and I did the same on the other, I knew that it wouldn't take much for those tears I was holding back to escape.

I cannot tell you what this means to Laurie and to her little family. Truly I think only God knows what is in Laurie's heart. There are a couple of other pictures over on my other blog, but the picture above kind of captures the one moment when those tears that I had SO not wanted to be shed, finally escaped...but it wasn't just my tears that were being shed. Since Stephen is in the sand, the officers in charge of the ceremony had made arrangements for him to be there via SKYPE. He witnessed the entire graduation and promotion ceremonies and at the end, as Laurie walked over to the computer to give him her love, he stood and saluted her. Not too many eyes were dry at that moment. I cry even as I type this now. It's not so much the pride, but rather the realization of what it took....that it's over, and yet just beginning for them. Stephen has many months remaining in his deployment and so it will be up to Laurie, with our help, to move us all to her (and eventually Stephen's) new duty station.

Many, if not most, of these new PAs will serve in harm's way very soon. From their graduation, to their new post, and then to one sandbox or another, leaving family behind to settle in their new homes.

Thank you for your prayers for our family, and for all of this nation's military. Only those who walk in the shoes understand, but your support means the world to us.

God bless you for being a blessing to all who serve - and to all of us who love them.

Magic Moments



Last night, as I sat here at my computer, I smiled as I remembered the day behind me. We had taken Kasey to the North Pole to see Santa. So many wonderful things to see, stores to visit, and of course, the big man himself. It was a wonderful day - from beginning to end. Kasey was a little shy about going into Santa Claus' house though...something about being at the North Pole and all really seemed to make it seem different for him. But he had his list, and when the line finally grew small and it was our turn to see Santa, Kasey looked up at us as though he wasn't sure about all of this. His mother's son for sure, since Laurie was never crazy about visiting Santa either. As you can see, he did just fine. The Santa was very attentive...read Kasey's list and was so pleasant. We've had some grouchy mall Santas in our history so this was a treat.
When we were nearly ready to leave the park, Kasey saw a couple of rides he wanted to go on so Ron took him over to get started while I finished up some shopping. When I got to where the guys were, Ron was just about ready to call it a day. He has this sinus infection that he finally went to the VA clinic for the other day and is finally on antibiotics. The weather was perfect for the North Pole....the trees had a coating of snow/ice on them that set the tone for the day.
The last ride Kasey went on needed a grandma too - grandpa didn't think he was ready for one of those spin and you know what rides. So the second picture tells that story...except I should have realized that it wasn't an ideal ride for someone with tinnitus and vertigo and inner ear problems. Nope...but it was sooo much fun to hold Kasey and spin around with him that who could blame a grandma for wanting to?
Just as I slept the computer for the night, I looked over and saw Laurie's Army boots sitting on the floor behind the couch. I moved them over to the Christmas tree and took the last picture I've included in this post.
It's a little bit fuzzy, but then, so is the world of an American soldier. The boots are always standing at the ready, no matter what soil they walk on. It's a difficult life, but a good life just the same. It's a blessed life for Laurie and for us as her mom and dad...people sometimes wander through life wondering where their niche is. Laurie has found hers - found it many years ago.

As she completes her program, and prepares to become an officer, I think back on the miles beneath the boots...to where they have taken her, and to where they are yet to go. Only God knows His plans for her...and we wait (not always patiently) for those plans to unfold. It's not always easy to see her go through the separations from Stephen during his deployment, or to see the circles under her eyes from so much studying and too little sleep, and yes, probably a little bit of worry about exams, and presentations. But she is on the home stretch now, with school done, her rotations complete, and graduation just ahead. These are all gifts to be treasured, and why I put those boots she wears under the Christmas tree to take the picture.
For now, those magic moments of yesterday with Kasey, and the anticipation of every day to come will be enough to make this mom and grandma smile and be thankful.
Merry Christmas my friends - may you have many wonderful moments - the kind which bring thankful prayers to the One who gives them to us.

We Just Never Know...


We just never know what God has in store for us. When Stephen left 6 weeks ago, it was hard to imagine what it meant to him - what was going through this little family's hearts and minds. He told us to have a good year. Easier said than done for him, though. After Laurie returned from her training for the first part of the program in TX, The kids had 10 months to be a family together and it went so fast. But as that 10 months went so quickly, we could only pray that his deployment would go quickly as well.
And so, the roller coaster ride continues. The highs of Laurie's program being very close to being completed, and then she could settle down and practice what she learned. It would give her some down time - FINALLY! But then Laurie found out last week that she will be assigned to one of the Army posts in Texas. Did this mean she and Stephen would be at separate posts when he returned? It looked that way. She emailed her program coordinator to find out what was going to happen. Who would Kasey live with? But no, when Stephen gets back from the sand, he will also move there so they will still be together. They were supposed to stay here, but the Army doesn't always remember what they say. Thing is, logistically speaking, the move is pretty much in Laurie's hands. We will do all we can, of course, as far as the actual move. But the planning, the dates to be coordinated, and finding a new place to live for the five of us will be pretty much up to Laurie. Stephen will help her find a home via the wonders of internet and we will stay here until Kasey finishes the school year, and then follow Laurie. Thankfully the Army will pack and move them, so we can be here for that too. We will move out so the house can be rented, and live at a hotel for a couple of weeks until Kasey is done with school. They would like us to stay with them - to help with Kasey AND because Stephen (in Laurie's words, "loves you and likes having you around."). I guess Laurie and Kasey do also. :)
But we will increase what we give Laurie each week to help with additional expenses. There will be a small war over this but we are still the parents. I love being the parent!
When a soldier leaves for deployment, he or she just never knows what the year will hold. But they trust that they will come home to the people who love them.
This is no different for Stephen - he has people who love him and he knows that we trust as he does - that God will bring him safely home. And home is not where his house is, but where his loved ones live.
And do you know what? Two Star Banners are ok to hang in the Lone Star state too. It will be the last thing I pack here, and the first thing I unpack in our new home.
Blessings my friends.

More Than Words.


The roller coaster....it's something that many Americans are riding on every day....and maybe not at an amusement park. But it's a ride that brings many emotions....fear, excitement, ups, downs, and on some days, you just never know what you are going to get because the curves are a little too sharp to see what's ahead.
But to love someone - or more than one someone - who serves in the military is the proudest ride a person could ever experience in a lifetime. We are blessed to have our daughter and son in law both serving. Laurie has been in for 12 years, Stephen for nearly 16.
This morning there was a Veterans appreciation assembly at Kasey's school. We went with Laurie...and when they asked all current and former members of the military to stand, I was so proud to watch as Laurie, and Ron, who is a Navy veteran of the Vietnam war, both stood. Many, many active military were present at the assembly and with a military band there to boot, it didn't take me long to use the tissues I had stuffed in my pocket as we left the house. Kasey was there in the front row with all the rest of his class and it was awesome to see the kids as they waved their flags during the closing song - Proud To Be An American - not sung by Lee Greenwood but by the school kids themselves. They knew every note, every up and down and pause and the words were heartfelt as they sang.
Laurie also cried - I know it was a difficult assembly for her with Stephen in the sand and I know that she was wishing he could be with us too. I was glad I had extra tissues - she needed them. And as we listened and watched and smiled and cried, it could only be appreciated in full to be in one of those roller coaster cars. To understand that these kids and teachers REALLY wanted to give a tribute and to know that a lot of planning went into every bit of the program.
The tears today were not just Laurie's and mine. To look around and see them in the eyes of men and women in their military uniforms, the veterans with their dignified posture, and the kids in their colorful red, white, and blue (and they managed some pretty ingenious ways to get those colors into one outfit :) - all of these things a reminder that the brave who have fought, those who still take up their arms to protect us, and those who have given that ultimate sacrifice which can never be forgotten by all they leave behind - did so because they were and are Americans who are loyal to our flag. And they want(ed) to keep us free. To think our present day military actually volunteer to do all this...to risk all of this - is pretty amazing.
I am having trouble getting my head wrapped around all of this today - words aren't enough, and even the ones this thankful heart prompts me to type are not adequate.
But because of those who serve(d) - including my own two soldiers and the man I have loved for 41 years - I cried tears of pride and thanksgiving, and maybe even a little pain and anguish this morning. They are cleansing. and there is no shame in them.
And when Kasey gets home from school today, the hug I give him will be a little longer because I know that he is serving too. He will not understand now, but someday, on another Veteran's Day, he will know.
Thank you for stopping by - please say a prayer today for those who have served, who still serve, and for those who love them. They would be so appreciated.

A Nation of Change?

I'm not a political person. I have my views and opinions of course like everyone else, but I don't normally voice them in my blogs. I believe that my vote counts, though, and that when I voted for President Bush in both of the Presidential elections when he was on the ballot, I had made a choice which I felt good about personally, it was also the choice I felt was best for the country. And as President Obama said yesterday, this is what makes a democracy great - the right of our people to chose. Despite the fact that the wars begun during President Bush's first term in office are still requiring my own two soldiers and their little boy to be far apart from each other more times than I care to count, they are not complaining and not questioning the need for their separations and service on foreign soil. And if they don't, far be it for me to second guess this life they have chosen. This is their lives - in more ways than one - and they are together in it whether they are on American soil, or somewhere far away. And every time they sign their name on that dotted line to serve additional years, they know and understand that the sacrifices may be greater than they are bargaining for, but which they are willing to risk.

As voters spoke on Tuesday at the polls, it was clear we are a nation looking for new folks to decide important issues for us in Washington. Since we are not residents of Colorado, we were not eligible to vote, but the results were just as important to us. The Governor's race in NY still held our interest since my pension is resting in the NY State retirement system...changes there could affect our future here. And of course Scott and his family are impacted by NY state government every single day.

The other night I was watching the Giants/Rangers world series game and as in all the previous games, the song during the seventh inning stretch was not 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' but rather 'God Bless America' - a song which always brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. As I watched the singers (members of the Armed Forces) trade places at the microphone, the camera panned throughout the crowd and to the players. Hands over hearts, lips moving, and just some folks standing there in respect for our country and for what we stand for. After the singers were done, and the crowd continued cheering, there was a camera shot of both Presidents Bush riding across the field in a motorized cart, saluting to the singers because they were military. And the crowd cheered for both of them as they did for God Bless America, and those who had sung it.

A nation of change? Perhaps we are, yes. And this change is not just shown in elections but rather in the affection and respect Americans have for those who serve. Remembering the disrespect so many of our country's men and women had for the soldiers (and by soldiers, I am encompassing all of our military branches) returning from the VietNam war, it's felt deeply to see the current generation of the Armed Forces being appreciated. Since Ron is a VietNam vet, he especially notices the respect the people of our country have for those who serve...and the thanks our citizens give to those returning from Iraq and Afghanistan....or to those they happen to meet on Anystreet, USA. There are many Americans who do not agree with the wars, but they are giving the respect to those who are fighting them, and keeping us safe at home.

A nice thing, don't you think? As a two star mom, I can tell you it's a wonderful to know that although my children no longer serve in a time of peace, they serve a nation who is thankful.

Blessings my friends,

Sue

It's That Time.



A few days ago, we hugged Stephen as he left with Laurie and Kasey to report for his deployment. He told us to have a good year - and all I could say as I hugged him was, "be safe, soldier" and then a weak "I love you" since my voice couldn't make it past the lump in my throat. I held him longer and tighter than ever before - I didn't do well at all. Which didn't help Laurie either since Ron cried as he shook hands and hugged Stephen as well. When she got back with Kasey a little while later, she was composed, and Kasey was ok too. Go figure, a little kid does better than a couple of senior citizens.
And so, we are into it - his third long deployment, fourth trip to the sand altogether. Yesterday, Laurie and I went to a scrapbooking place to see what they had (they had LOTS of really good stuff-a little pricey) and we will return there this weekend to buy. I need to make a practical list of what I need. Are practical and scrapbooking even in the same language?
Kasey and I are doing a two step - Kasey is dancing around the fact that Grandma is here to help him, although I fully realize that I am NOT "the boss of his toys." This in no uncertain terms from Kasey on Sunday when I asked him to please put some of his toys away.
I've asked Laurie to be straight with me - to let me know when she wants to do something for Kasey that I try to do. She's quite a young woman - independent, but still says very matter of factly that she still needs her mom and dad. It's good to be needed and not only needed, but wanted.
Kasey is grounded from cartoons today ('cause his mommy said so), so we will play a game after dinner. Kids version of Rummikub. Stephen said it might be even more difficult for us because we have to keep track of pictures AND numbers. Smart aleck. So we'll see how we do and then I can write and tell Stephen how we do....well, MAYBE I'll tell him. It depends on if he's right or not. :)
Digging our heels in, praying for the year ahead, and praying hard for all of our troops...not just for Kasey's mom and dad.

Up....or Down?

It's been awhile since I've posted here - most of my posts this summer have been over on my other blog. We've had a wonderful, memory making, but crazy busy summer working at a CO state park as camp hosts. For me, it meant many hours in Campground Services - checking campers in, selling them everything from soup to nuts to marshmallows - not to mention ice and firewood, and assigning sights to those who came in without a reservation but wanting to do some camping at available sites. There were the explanations of why I couldn't give them a week's worth of camping (we can only give the walk-ins two nights at a time because of the probability of double booking sites with the online reservations filling up the campground so quickly and double booking is a nightmare), lots of labor, but I loved every minute of it. Ron's jobs were a little more diversified since he was camp hosting (cleaning and checking sites to make sure everything was going ok with the campers and the campground). He also worked in the Entrance Station which he loved doing, greeting and selling passes ("I know you are only checking out the campground...that's only six dollars for a parks pass, sir").
But indeed the summer is over and we find that we are once again counting days until Stephen is deployed for the fourth time. We all know that life is a roller coaster for those who love a soldier - or two soldiers. It's more like the cyclone with two soldiers, but roller coaster nonetheless. A roller coaster is a roller coaster - doesn't matter how high the hills are, how sharp the curves, or how fast it rolls on the track. To make it a little easier for Laurie because of her hours, we have moved into their home to help with Kasey once Stephen is deployed. To be here if she is on call, or has to leave for work at 0500, or doesn't get home until 9 pm. Then there will be additional training during which she goes to another state for a couple of months.
So the question is, when you go through deployment, (again), is the car going UP, or DOWN?
Is it the going up that's so rough....when you don't know what's on the other side of the hill, or how far and how fast you will fall? Or is it the going down that's so difficult? It's going so fast that you can't see what's in front of you, or next to you... you can't breathe, you fear you will fall out, and the curves just seem to shake every bone in your body til it feels like you will fall apart. Is the down part when someone you love goes away, or is that the up part because you feel you will never get to see the top. You just keep walking up that hill, holding on for dear life.
And thankfully, we know our Father is walking with us. Sometimes He carries us and we know that we are in good and loving arms.
Up....or down. It doesn't really matter I guess. As long as I know Who is walking with us - and appreciating the fact that I know you will keep us in your prayers.
Just as you always have and because of this, I know we are in good company.
Blessings my friends - you are each a blessing to me.

In Remembrance.....

and in prayer for those lost on 9/11/2001 and for their families.

And asking God to bless our troops and this great country they serve.

Some Things Never Change.



Yeah, I know. It's been more than a month since I've posted. Not for lack of things happening in our lives, it's just finding the time to do it in. We have been working lots of hours - which is good because it keeps us old folks busy. But I've been avoiding this post because it means that I have to admit Stephen will be leaving shortly for THAT place again. And so, like any red blooded American military mom of two soldiers, it has begun again. You know...the not knowing the exact date but knowing it's coming soon. The fact that our daughter will be without her husband for another year...and more, since she will deploy somewhere before he gets home. And then there is Kasey, and how he must feel but doesn't let on except in the occasional temper tantrum. At home, at school, at Grandma's and Grandpa's...he's not too picky about where it's going to be. And you know what? Sometimes even the usually mild mannered me wants to have one right along with him. Anyone have some cheese to go with my whine?
But I figured it would be a good night to post because it's one of those nights when I want to go to bed, but not before I know I am sleepy enough to go to sleep because IT is back.
You know, the thinking thing. The staring at the ceiling in the dark, trying not to look at the clock because surely it hasn't been 2 hours since you got in bed. has it? Oh, and did I mention the thinking? If you are a military mom, or spouse, or loved one, you can relate.
We are a blessed family - we have seen 3 deployments for Stephen, and 3 times he has come home safely. Laurie is doing well in her program, and is happy in it. She will deploy shortly after it is completed. We are healthy and able to take care of Kasey when the kids need us - and this will be coming soon. For awhile it will be us, a little boy, his dog, our dog, and Laurie - a wife and mommy and a dear daughter who will be missing her husband. But we are blessed because not every family has the structure we have. Not every grandma and grandpa has the trust of their children to take care of their own child. And we are thankful that we are now in the same city with Laurie and Stephen, because it seems very important to Stephen to want to stop over for a little while, just to spend some time with us. It's nice and we are grateful for this. This morning he brought Kasey over for the day - Stephen had some extra time and decided to just sit and have some coffee with me. Ron was at the VA clinic for some blood tests, and got home in time to share some of this visit too. We don't have to talk to be comfortable - there is always an easy silence - no pregnant pauses, just an easy silence. It's comfortable, you know? And it's
reassuring to have him want to be here with us.
Ok, so "it's" back. But there are also some things which haven't ever left that far outweigh the troubled and worrisome days and nights of this thing called deployment - and pre-deployment.
They are: Faith and Trust.
I guess I can go to bed now.
Blessings,
Sue

Papa and Veronica -it's been a long, long time.

The Soldier's Sibling



Four years ago this week, I decided to take the plunge from "visitor" to blogger. I decided that it was time to try my hand at this online journaling, and so 'Two Star Mom' was born. In my very first post on July 13, 2006 I mentioned that life as a military mom isn't just about our children who are soldiers, but about their sibling(s) too. In our family, this means Laurie's brother Scott - who is our oldest child.
And just as things have not always been easy for Laurie, Stephen, and Kasey, the same goes for Scott. Marriage, divorce, and having to really stretch things financially at times, Scott has had his share of struggles. But now, things seem to be looking up for him, and as we embraced him and Violet and Veronica at the airport the other day, I sensed a completeness in his life.
And sure enough, as we sat in the comfort of Laurie and Stephen's living room that afternoon, he and Violet announced their engagement. It will be awhile before they are married, but it's a blessing to our family that this is happening. The relationship between Violet and Veronica is also a blessing - Violet loves her as her own and Veronica loves Violet in return, which is not always the case in situations like theirs.
So, while I bask in the happiness of having all of my children with me in the same place, and 2 of my 3 grandchildren, I will savor the roller coaster ride. There will be no looking back - or ahead. We are just waving our arms and enjoying the ride.
Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of these days. And for the goodness you shower on not just our daughter the soldier, but on her brother as well.

The Hourglass.



When Laurie and Stephen and Ron and I have a day or evening together, one of our favorite things to do is to play a game of Rummikub. Of course since the kids have a little more experience playing it, Ron and I usually lose. But it's so much fun - kind of like playing rummy, building runs and sets on the table with the small tiles that you keep on a little rack in front of you. Stephen is really good at this - he changes the tiles all over the place just to pick out one little tile to make up a small run or set of three. And I get all excited about something I think I can do with the changes he has made, only to have the tiles changed by someone else before my turn comes along (or else I forget what changes I was going to make once it's my turn....yup, more than likely, it's that).
And to make sure that we don't go beyond the 2 minute time limit, a little hourglass comes with the game. Twice the sands run through this hour glass to give you time enough (are you kidding me?) to finish your turn; and once Stephen turns the hourglass, I start to panic knowing that my time is almost up.
This summer kind of reminds me of that game - at least the hourglass part of it. We thought when we got here that we would be able to see the kids much more often. Hours - theirs and ours - kind of prevent that. I am not complaining about our jobs at all - it's a wonderful opportunity to enjoy CO without needing to worry about camping expenses. And just to know that we are so close to the kids is a blessing we haven't ever had for such a long period of time.
But the sands seem to be going far too quickly through this hourglass called summer. Maybe it's because we are getting older - could this be? Yes, it could be. Or maybe it's just that old adage about time flying when you are having fun.
Whatever it is, we are looking at Stephen's deployment in the not too distant future. And the sands are running too quickly. But if they are running this quickly for us, we can only imagine how much faster they are running for Laurie and Stephen.
Of course they look at things differently - as the military often do, especially military families where both husband and wife are military. They don't look too far into the future but rather enjoy each day as it comes. They understand that plans are necessary, but all of that is secondary to the time they have together to just enjoy life.
Thankfully, Kasey is blissfully unaware of how fast the days go - they are all made for preschool, and play and the adventures of little boys. He just trusts that mommy and daddy, (and grandma and grandpa) will take care of him.
Ron and I are so thankful that God has given us the good health and the blessing of being able to do this.
No matter how many times the hourglass needs to be turned.
God bless our troops and those who love them.

"You Were On My Heart All Night."



Last night near the very end of my shift at the Campground store, a young woman from TX came in to see if we had any tent sites left. We did, and so I asked her if she wanted it for one night or two. She said, "Well, I guess I should call my husband to find out." So they decided one night and I assigned her the site closest to the parking area. They had driven a lot of miles that day and since our tent sites are walk - ins (the campers park in the small parking lot and then walk their gear in), I figured the less walking they had to do, the better. As I was writing out her permit, she asked me if I knew how far Royal Gorge Bridge is from here and I told her. I gave her the directions and told her that while we have been in Colorado so many times, we hadn't yet had a chance to see the bridge. I told her that we have children stationed here, so this job we have for the summer is a Godsend for us. As I was beginning to explain where their campsite would be, and the "bear aware" speech that we give to everyone, she said, "So tell me more about your children. Is it your sons that are here?" She looked surprised when I said it was our daughter and son in law. (It's hard for people to believe daughters serve too - I think this is ok, but I find it kind of amusing that everyone looks surprised...and I don't bat an eyelash). Anyway, she asked me about Laurie and Stephen and I told her about how we will soon be doing another guardianship of Kasey. I told her how we should be used to it after this length of time, but that when they are separated because of their service, it's my goal to make things easier for them all - THEIR separation is harder on my heart than anything.
She asked me my name and I told her....then she reached out, shook hands, and said "I am Jessica - it's nice to meet you Sue." With that, her husband walked in, and she told him that "Sue and I were just having a great conversation about her children....they are in the Army."
I thanked her for her interest, and to enjoy their stay here at the park.
This morning, being off today and not feeling well - a sinus thing, or allergies - I was sitting at the table catching up on my emails at 9 am. Still in my jammies, and drinking my second cup of coffee, I saw a van pull up with tent gear on top and in the back. I knew it was Jessica. I ran to check to see if I looked as bad as I thought I might look (hair was neatly in place and my face was clean :) and Ron hollered from outside, "Sue, you've got a visitor!"
Indeed it was Jessica. I apologized for my appearance and she said she had just come to say goodbye and that she will keep our family in her prayers. She had gone up to the store to look for me but they told her I was off today and they sent her down to our site.
And then she said, "You were on my heart all night long."
Little does she know what that meant to me - and how we count on those prayers I know will be offered from this young woman who until last night at 7:20 pm was a total stranger.
Thank you, Lord for a stranger named Jessica. now a friend whom I may never meet again.
But I'll remember her as one of the greatest blessings of the summer.

1000......

.......American troops have been killed in Afghanistan as the latest fatality happened today with the death of a US Marine. May God be with his family and friends, and comrades in arms, who continued their foot patrol after the attack. Also, may healing of body, heart, and mind come to those injured with this fallen Marine.

This Memorial Day weekend, may we remember not just this Marine, but all who have made the ultimate sacrifice in wars to defend America's freedom.

This freedom is not free. Most of us realize this.

Each day, I pray not only for those who make these sacrifices - including their families - of serving, but for those who think that those who serve knew the dangers going in and that the sacrifices are to be expected. May their eyes be opened and their hearts swayed to what is true.

And so I will say - yes, our men and women in uniform DID know the sacrifices...but they chose to volunteer anyway.

God bless them all, and those who wait.

Reveille, Retreat, and Taps.

Part of our job as Camp Hosts at the park is to make the rounds of the campgrounds to make sure that everything is ok. We have one of those golf cart type vehicles which Ron has to not only help with maintenance duties, but also to do these park checks. It's a huge savings that we don't have to use our truck for this. It's great for getting around - and this little vehicle zips in and out of places like nobody's business.

We came back from one of our trips around the park the other day and heard a wonderful sound. Retreat was being sounded at Fort Carson. It was the end of the "official" day, and we are blessed to hear this from our campsite here at the park.

In the morning, there is Reveille, which signals to the soldiers that it's time to line up for morning roll call. And while I would think most soldiers nowadays use alarm clocks, there's a definite "order" in this bugle call which reminds them before they even open their eyes that another day in the US Army is ahead of them. :)

And ~ of course ~ in the evening, there is Taps. Taps signals that all unauthorized lights are to be extinguished and it is the last call of the day. And of course, we know too well, that it is played at the end of a military funeral. It has, most assuredly, been played far too often in this last circumstance in America's history.

I decided to look up the various bugle calls, and what they mean....and was suprised to see there are so many of them.

Being able to hear all of these bugle calls in the morning, afternoon, or evening is somehow

a pleasant reminder of how well the Army takes care of it's own. They are structured for sure, but their soldiers are very important. But no matter whether it's "wake up", or "ok, you can go home now," or "it's time to rest," I think the most encouraging - though haunting - is the sound of Taps.

The last line of the first verse tell us all we need to know - about every moment of every day.

"All is well, safely rest, God is nigh."

Not only is the best military in the world taking care of America, but God is looking over us all. Especially those who serve.

This brings me peace.