Two Star Mom

2012-01-17T00:53:00.001-05:00

When Words Get Stuck......

As we reach mid-January, we continue to count the months, weeks, and days (hours) until Laurie comes home from her deployment. Having her here for Christmas was a wonderful thing. R and R goes entirely too quickly, but you would be amazed at what a soldier and his/her family can pack into those two weeks. And Laurie did about as much as she could while still getting some much needed catching up on sleep. They took a trip with Kasey to see Disneyland, the San Diego zoo, and of course, Lego Land. The house was pretty quiet while they were gone and I think they thought we were ready for the quiet. Not so. Quiet can be good, but not THAT quiet. Knowing that they had some wonderful family time that they will remember for many years to come was worth Ron and I having to put up with each other, though. LOL.

But there was the reality of Laurie knowing that before her deployment is over, Stephen will be beginning his. We've known this for several weeks now - putting it into a post just wasn't possible. And I wanted to get through the joy of the holidays without thinking about what is ahead. It's not something we could even think about, and yet as time goes forward, so does the reality and the need to come to grips with it all. Stephen will be leaving soon for his pre-deployment training for the month of February, and not long after he comes home from that will be the deployment.
Your prayers for us all would be so appreciated.
God has given us a great gift these last months in our new church. Our Pastor knows the path the Lord is asking us to walk on, and he is a good friend already. Our church family has welcomed us with warm hugs and sincere welcome wishes. His timing, as always, is perfect.
Kasey will keep us busy, and we will keep him busy as well to help the time pass; but I wish I could have a peek into his little heart to understand what he must be feeling. Even if I could see, I probably wouldn't understand. I don't even understand all that I am feeling, let alone a 6 year old little boy.
I'll try to keep up my posting on a more regular basis but please forgive me if the words get stuck and aren't easily put into a post. But blogging is cleansing and good for the heart and mind so I really will try to visit here more often.
You are such a blessing to our family.

2011-12-20T23:18:00.001-05:00

December in Our Town - A Wonderful Place To Be!

Last week, we attended the holiday program at Kasey's school....awesome, as all programs have been. As last year's Holiday program did, the music director found another group of songs/skits/dancing which concentrated not just on the "generics" of the now politically correct "holiday" season, but on specifics. Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, and Mexican traditions....as well as some traditional winter songs which the kids sang just beautifully. Oh yes, as the title of this post might indicate, the program was titled 'December In Our Town.'
The kids opened with the title song - 'December in Our Town - What a Wonderful Place To Be!' and the students from Kindergarten right on up to sixth grade were animated and enthused and awesome. The sixth graders took the stage and did the speaking parts at first and they participated in the opening song too, but just did a wonderful job with their leadership jobs. Each grade had a song about a different religion - Kasey's grade sang the song Innkeeper, which of course was about the innkeeper, Mary, Joseph and the stable and baby Jesus. It was beautiful and yes, my eyes did leak a bit.
After it was over, and when we went to the commissary for groceries, I was humming the title song and singing the only part I remembered which were the two opening lines. But then I got down to the business of buying groceries - and preparing for a special person. Kasey's mommy would be on her way home soon after that and I wanted everything to be JUST right for her R and R.
Which brings us quickly to just the last day or two, when a determined pilot - despite Mother Nature and the airlines he works for - brought Laurie safely home. As soon as she rounded the corner to the waiting area and saw Kasey, she ran to him with tears in her eyes. As they hugged and kissed and Laurie looked at every single inch of Kasey's little face, Stephen, Ron, and I waited patiently as our little boy and his beautiful mom embraced. There were smiles and tears all around us as other soldiers greeted their families - and from others as they just looked on at the sheer emotion unfolding in front of them. When Ron and I got to give Laurie her hug, hers to us was long, and warm, and happy.
December in Our Town....God in His grace has truly made this a wonderful place to be.

Thank you all for your prayers for our girl and for our family. May God bless the rest of YOUR December.

2011-11-15T15:58:00.002-05:00

The Comforts of Deployments

Okay, you might think the title of this post is a bit rhetorical. What, you may ask, can you find that's comforting during the deployment of your child? Yup, I had asked the very same question a long time ago - before Laurie even deployed. It took the actual deployment to understand the answer. I am finding several things - none of which, of course, are as comforting as having Laurie back home, but still offer moments of joy every single day.
There is Facebook....that "social network" that can be such a pain in the neck sometimes. I have been known to ignore some things about FB. I fell for the "__________ has answered a question about Sue" thing once or twice, but some of the questions it asks are not exactly nice, so I gave up on that. The Farm thing sounded like fun but I didn't really want to ask all my friends for 13 cows, or more chickens. (Heaven knows I cook enough chicken here for the boys to start my own farm :). So, basically, I use FB to see what is happening in my friends lives. And to see how many others walk in my shoes and who need or offer prayers with understanding.
One morning, I discovered that Laurie was on FB at the same time as I was. That doesn't mean I immediately started a chat with her - but I thought about how comforting it was to know that thousands of miles away in a war zone, I could see that Laurie was safe, and well, and making comments on FB. It's a little thing, some would think, especially since I don't chat with her. But to "see" her, and to read her comments or see the thumbs up "likes" that she gives to someone - it's a little thing that is HUGE to this mom.
There are the emails I receive when I am online at the same time she is. It's like God assuring me that she is doing okay. Knowing that she is usually at the end of her day when I am at the beginning of mine, well, it's like crossing another day off her deployment. No wait, it IS crossing another day off. Small thing? Hardly.
Skype. Well, we are usually not here when Laurie Skypes with Stephen and Kasey BUT it's a given that on a certain day at a certain time, Laurie will be talking to her boys. The internet connection may be spotty but they usually can have a nice chat with 3 or 4 interruptions. :)
Another thing is when she receives the packages we send. When I pack them, I try to put the happiest things on the top - so that when she takes off the ton of tape I put on them, she can see a picture Kasey has colored, or a colorful envelope with a funny card and a letter inside. An example: Probably her least favorite classic family movie she saw as a kid, and a movie that is STILL being shown all the time, is The Wizard of Oz. It seems the Munchkins - those adorable little people who belonged to the Lollipop Guild - scared her as a kid. So when I was shopping in Safeway not long ago and looking for a funny card, there was a blank card with a picture of Dorothy and Toto, the Tinman, Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion. I laughed as I picked it up, got a few strange looks from the customers nearby, and immediately knew that was THE card I would be sending. She enjoyed it and said that she laughed too when she saw it. By the way, she still dislikes the movie intensely so I don't know if Kasey will ever get to see it. I think it will be up to me to make sure he sees it while she is deployed. I'll rent it one of these weekends. LOL.

And then there is Faith. Last Sunday we had an Army Chaplain fill in at our church while our Pastor was away, and he did a question and answer session during the Bible Study hour after worship service. I was able to share that Laurie is deployed, what she does, and the fact that not long ago, Laurie and her staff were required to see and do something a parent would never want their child to see or do. He cringed and said he would pray for her "because" he said, "I understand exactly what you mean. " The cringe confirmed MY discomfort but the fact that he promised to pray for her confirmed the knowledge to everyone in that room that people of faith believe He is listening. And answering. And for those sitting around us, I believe it also made them thankful for their own children sitting in their Sunday school classes downstairs.
And this is the biggest comfort - the prayers. I know that you are all praying for Laurie - and for us, and those prayers bring immense comfort. I have the assurance that He is listening and will answer them all, I trust, with His grace.
Thanks for stopping by. And for all you do for our family.

2011-11-11T00:28:00.001-05:00

Not JUST a Day for Numbers

Veteran's Day...November 11, 2011.
11/11/11.
It's a day which some will think of first as a day of six ones. But for those of us who love a veteran, who REMEMBER a veteran, or who love someone in active military service it is a day we set aside for respect. And for honoring all those who came before us and fought for this land we call America.

My good friend Bruce wrote me an email last night that included this, amongst other things:

TWO HOLIDAYS:

THANKSGIVING IS A DAY WHEN WE PAUSE TO GIVE THANKS

FOR THE THINGS WE HAVE

VETERANS DAY IS A DAY WHEN WE PAUSE TO GIVE THANKS

TO THE PEOPLE WHO FOUGHT FOR THE THINGS WE HAVE

Dear Lord we thank you for those who fought, for those who died to keep us free, and for those who LIVE to keep our land free.

Amen

2011-11-07T11:06:00.003-05:00

Not Too Much Changes.....Well, Maybe One or Two Things.

As the weeks pass and we count the days in Laurie's deployment, (pretty soon we will be on the down side of the count) there are more things to think about. And some days, as the news unfolds, these things are not always easy. But this is why we have the blessing of prayer and knowing that He is listening. No matter how many times we repeat the prayer, He listens. And every day, He answers. Day in and day out, war goes on around her unit, but the Lord keeps answering. Even on those days when I am feeling afraid, somehow He gets me through them Sometimes one foot in front of the other, but from sun up to sundown, He is listening.
The last couple of weeks in church I have found myself just taking a moment or two to pray. The choir might be singing their joyous anthems, Pastor might be preaching his sermon (and I try to always keep listening but that's hard when you are trying to pray at the same time :), or the ushers might be working their way back with the collection plates during the offering. And it feels like He is nudging me. The prayers are not always for Laurie's safety, but a thank you for His grace. I think it's pleasing to Him to hear those prayers of thanks and not just those of asking for something. Don't you think so? Trust me, and I think He knows this too, I never take Him for granted. But I always know He is in our corner...watching, protecting, and loving.
One thing I have to keep in mind ALWAYS...my family counts on my trust in Him, and that I am not afraid. That's a pretty tall order sometimes and I know they know better about the fear thing - I am, after all, a mom. I know that Laurie prays as well so we are together in that because we pray for the same things - family, protection, thanksgiving. And a lot of times, my prayers are for strength for us all. The world can be a frightening place, can't it?
We don't talk too much with Stephen about what's going on over there. He doesn't watch the news (not a bad choice - maybe I should try this), and doesn't really want to know about it either. We don't listen when Laurie calls on Skype because it's none of our business, and what Stephen wants to share, he shares.
The one other thing that is changing is that, after almost giving up on it, the afghan is nearly done. The boys (Ron and Stephen) are taking back all their suggestions that I buy one instead of knitting one) and Stephen said a VERY interesting scrap book for me to make to go with the afghan would be the process of how the knitting of it has unfolded. Never mind this, Stephen! That it will be done in time is the good thing, right?
And so, as we wait for yet another mountain snow storm which is supposedly on its way, I'll keep on counting, keep on praying, and trusting. (and knitting). It's a good day for baking an apple pie, and for some knitting and purling.
Thanks for stopping by - you are a blessing to me and to our family which we are so grateful for.

2011-10-19T12:47:00.002-05:00

Time Has Wings

This post is waaay overdue but sometimes it just can't be helped. I appreciate your coming back to see if I am still in this blogging business. So many times I have sat at this computer, knowing what I want to say, but not knowing HOW to say it. Not usually a problem for me. :-)
We are working our way through Laurie's deployment - 5 months now - and at times the going has been rough. But God has been with Laurie - and with us. While we have had a good dose of some of the realities of what Laurie is being asked to do over there, I am calming down again from this whirlwind time in our lives and back to why God gives us the faith to endure. And as always, it's the comfort needed to renew our trust.

With Fall here in it's full beauty, and with the temperatures here on the mountain getting more chilly as each day dawns, we are finding that the down comforter on our bed is so welcome at the end of the day.
Kasey is nearly done with his first 10 week term at school and is doing well. For the most part, the early morning getting ready for school days have been uneventful. With Stephen working long hours, our days are full, but I have come to enjoy the morning, afternoon, and evening routines we have come to set with housework, cooking, homework, appointments, and having some time to go out and about for some "me" time. I have enjoyed being in worship on Sunday mornings, and now attend the Bible study during the Sunday school hour as well. my neighbor and friend has asked me to join a knitting group at her church - lots of fun. My friend Sharon and I try to make sure to have coffee together one day a week - a time of sharing which is always nice. And then there are Friday mornings, when I get to spend an hour or so with Kasey and some of his classmates as a volunteer for reading groups at school. I love the way his face lights up when he sees me enter the classroom, and especially love hearing his input during the question and answer part of the hour after reading the story. It also makes me happy to have his classmates say hi to me on the mornings I take Kasey to school - or, as it happened the other day, when a little girl in Kasey's class showed me her new lunch box and gave me a narrative on it. Fun times.
But most of all, I am enjoying the fact that, as the days pass quickly here, they are passing quickly for Laurie as well. I enjoy the "grocery lists" she sends us when I tell her I'll be shopping for another package. She always starts out, "Dear Shoppers." This last time, we sent 3 very full (and heavy) boxes. When she sends an actual shopping list, Stephen always pays and I do the shopping. I love those shopping trips because they aren't for groceries here at home, but rather for Laurie. The last big boxes we sent, Laurie was so excited to receive them. She will be receiving these 3 new boxes very soon and I can't wait. Sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) when I read her thank you emails, I cry. To think that it takes such little effort to bring her happiness in the midst of where she is.
And so, time is showing us that, indeed, it has wings sometimes. And I thank God for this. I find myself thanking Him for many things these days.
Thanks for stopping by, my friends.
May God bless our troops - no matter where they serve.

2011-09-16T09:58:00.002-05:00

Neither Rain, nor Sleet, nor Dark of Night - and War? HECK NO!!!

Early last week, we got an email from Laurie requesting a few things for the next care package. Since we were between social security checks and a little short on funds, I asked Stephen if he could lend us some $$. He said "you've paid for nearly all of them - this one is on me." So, armed with my list and his $$, off to the commissary I went...on a mission. And I went through the commissary, putting things in my cart and checking them off the list. In less than 30 minutes, (record time for me and the commissary), I was at the cash register and out. And except for trying to find my way around the construction detours, NOTHING could dampen my enthusiasm. I got home, unloaded all the stuff on the counter, and started packing it all in boxes, then changed my mind so Stephen could see everything when he got home from work. THEN, I started packing and when Laurie Skyped that night to practice Kasey's spelling words with him, I said to her, "mission accomplished - boxes being mailed tomorrow." And so, when we picked up Kasey from school the next afternoon (10 out of 10 spelling words right for his spelling test that day- AWESOME Kasey!), we went to the post office and mailed two very heavy large flat rate boxes to Kasey's mommy. I think it's important for Kasey to see the entire process - all the things purchased, (sometimes he goes with us to shop if he's not in school), the packing, and especially the mailing. It tells him that Mommy is in a place where the everyday things we take for granted are not available to his mommy. And that's why it's so important to do it. So when we put the boxes on the counter, the postal clerk said - 7 to 10 days. But even if it gets to the APO address when it's supposed to, it's up to the Army to get it to her. But the staff at the Post Office know us now and always ask how our girl is. This may be contrary to some post offices, but here, it's the norm.
Last night we skyped with Laurie again for Kasey's spelling words, and I told her the boxes should be there this weekend - or Monday by the latest.
This morning, I received an email from Laurie - boxes arrived in the hours following our skype conversation, and she was SOOO excited. Do you KNOW what that does to a mom's heart? (not to mention how it makes the eyes leak).
And so, I am already making up the next box - and that will go out tomorrow. Not so much treats as just stuff that I think will make her smile - catalogs, papers Kasey has done in school, a candle in a patriotic holder - just stuff that will make her smile. And pretty soon, it will be cool enough to send chocolate. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. :-)
I posted my happiness on FB this morning, and I just read a comment from my good friend Betsy - "how did that happen????"
It's anybody's guess....but I am so thankful.
Good work guys!
And thank you God.

2011-09-07T10:04:00.004-05:00

HOOAH - The Cry of the American Warrior Since 1718

So here we are, into our fourth month of Laurie's deployment.   We are doing well, the time going quickly - now that Kasey is back in school. He's doing well this year (knocking on the wooden table beneath my laptop). Laurie Skypes at least once a week, and on the first day of school, she called Kasey in the morning before he left for his first day as a big boy in 1st grade. Last week, she Skyped one night as she began her day and we were wrapping up ours, to help him with his spelling words. Stephen told Kasey the night before he went back to school, as he was getting all Kasey's things ready, and while I packed his lunch, that being a good boy and doing well in school was his job to do during the time his mommy is away. We all have our jobs, some easier than others. But even Kasey knows his job is no less important than any other.

The 10th anniversary of 9/11 will be here this weekend. Not something to celebrate, but a day to remember. But as terrible as that day was, we can give thanks for the American spirit we witnessed every day thereafter. Ron and I have been watching some of the special interviews aired on National Geo this week - especially we caught President Bush's interview. I could watch that interview every single day and still not fathom what it must have been like for him as our nation's leader trying to console every single American -especially the families of those who did not survive.

What I remember that day, as I sat at my desk at the University of Buffalo - I attempted to process financial aid while so many of our students from NYC stood around the TV in the Student Union wondering if their families were okay knowing that we would be at war soon. Laurie - and the hundreds of thousands of other American troops had gone from serving in time of peace to a time of war. She was doing some training in TX - learning about the attacks in bits and pieces from the instructors - and I remembered the young men and women in the NCO leadership class she had graduated with less than a month before - and that some of them were stationed at the Pentagon. And Scott, at home in Hamburg, was also watching it - knowing that his little sister was about to become more than a soldier. She would be a warrior. And now - she IS a warrior.

And so, the title of this post. You see, a long time ago, when we were visiting Laurie, she took us to one of those little stores outside the main PX. I love those places - tee shirts, pins, you name it. Anything the military mom could want. I found a tee shirt that had a logo on the front - a simple logo that spelled out - Hooah. And on the back, it says "Hooah - the Cry of the American Warrior Since 1718." It's a shirt that has gone through various times of struggle - Stephen's deployments, Laurie's school and separations from her family, and all the time we have spent with Kasey. There were times when it didn't fit me due to weight gain, so it sat folded in my drawer. But having lost the weight, it is a staple in my casual wardrobe. Most people don't know what the symbol on the front of the tee means - but if they read the back, this Hooah word might ring a bell.

The day after 9/11 I had an eye doctor appt. I had gone to this doctor for several years. The nurse knew that I was the mom of a soldier, and asked me how I was doing. She made some notes in my folder as to how the 9/11 attack was affecting me. And then the doctor came in, asked how I was and I said "it's not a very good day to be a military mom." And he said, "It's about time they do some work." It took everything in me not to get up and walk away, but I didn't. I bit my tongue, said nothing to him - and I mean nothing, unless it was about my eyes - and I walked out of that office and never went back. My own way of saying "Hooah." When I called and canceled my next appointment a few months later, I told the nurse WHY I was canceling it. She sounded sympathetic and apologized for the pain it must have caused. She asked if I would come back if the doctor apologized and I said no thank you. Perhaps not very gracious, but I found a new doctor who asked me why I was changing doctors - and I told him why. He didn't know what to say, so he just shook his head and said he was sorry. I appreciated that. We all have our own ways of saying Hooah, don't we?

And so, as I sit here on a chilly Colorado morning, the tee shirt still fits well. I am about to put on a sweatshirt - I think summer is over here - but will know that underneath is a tee shirt that announces the warrior's cry.
To ALL of our American warriors - serving in all branches of the military - HOOAH!! It's said in various ways depending on the branch you serve in.   I am proud of everyone who wears a uniform.
It's not just an Army thing - and it's a cry that lets your fellow Americans know that nothing can take away your spirit.

And oh yes, this tee shirt which has been washed SO many times, has never faded. Not at all. Just like the spirit of the warriors who cry out the word. And those who love them.

God bless our troops - and the America they protect and serve.

2011-08-18T14:18:00.001-05:00

Come Hell or High Water....or War.

Today was Kasey's first day back to school. The morning went smoothly - Kasey got up great, had a two waffle breakfast, and put on his new duds. Lunch was all packed, backpack had all of his school supplies, and he was ready to go a half hour early. Trying to keep him busy for a half hour without cartoons, or computer games, or anything like it was fun.(not!), but we made do. I was getting ready myself when the phone rang. I caught it on the third ring on the phone in Laurie and Stephen's room, and when I heard the familiar delay after I said "hello," I knew it was Laurie before her wonderful voice came over the wire. We talked for about 15 seconds and then I told her I love her and handed the phone over to Kasey. Listening (but not being obvious about it) to Kasey's conversation with his mom, I smiled. Funny thing, I knew she would call. It's what a mom does - when you can't be there to do all the fun stuff yourself on those important days, you make sure you talk to your child. Come hell or high water, wherever you are, you tell him good luck, wish him a great day, and most of all, you tell him "I love you very much." And even though the conversation is only a minute or two long, it means the world to that child...and to that mom, who is so far away...but here at home too.

To this mom, remembering those 1st days of school from longer ago than I care to remember, it made this day so much easier on my heart, knowing that my little girl got to speak to her little boy on such an important occasion.
I wish the picture above could be of Laurie and Kasey - but I hope it means as much to Kasey as it does to me that I can be here to help him during this school year. I'm sure we will have our share of struggles, but we will do as our family always does. We will pray, and trust, and get by...no matter what.

2011-08-07T16:08:00.003-05:00

Door Number.....?

After the events in Afghanistan this weekend, I knew that it was time for me to find a church home. God bless those who were lost yesterday, their families, and friends. And our nation's military - they are the best of the best. Seeing Laurie on Skype this weekend had a whole new meaning - and the thanksgiving to see her and talk to her was such a blessing.

God has helped me to realize that I can practice my faith in the world, but it's time to sit in a pew on Sunday, to worship and hear the spoken Word. To be fed, so that I can help to nourish others. While I haven't worshiped in a church regularly since we left Hamburg, my faith has not left me. I still pray, still study Scripture, and thankfully, I know in whom my Salvation lies. This is not my doing and that nothing I do will gain that for me. Jesus paid the debt for me on a cross on a lonely hill long ago.
But someone reminded me the other day that when we lived in Hamburg, practicing my faith in the church of my choice was a VERY important part of my life. To be in a pew on Sunday mornings with my fellow Christian sisters and brothers began and ended my weeks. Sunday was the first day of my week, and also the last; the Sabbath when being fed Spiritually would get me through each day of the coming week.

And so, this morning, God led me through a door. Sure, it was a warm and sunny morning, and the door was wide open, but it was as if God was saying to me personally, "welcome to your new home, daughter." The ushers greeted me with a smile, and the service's liturgy was one I knew by heart. It felt like God really was welcoming me home. In the hymns as well. I made mental notes during the entire service of what I liked - of what made me feel like I was home. It was a long list. After receiving the Lord's Supper, it felt complete. The closing hymn, How Great Thou Art, brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat as it always does.
And the welcome by several members after the service was awesome.

Ron hadn't attended with me - I was the one to "check it out," so to speak. Something was different for me - the usual butterflies were missing - I walked into this church with hope, and with assurance - not with any nervousness at all. And when I got back into the truck after the service was over, I said "this is our new church home." Next week he will attend with me.

I've always known that entering a church - going through the door He leads us through - isn't anything like "Let's Make A Deal." No deals with the Lord. He asks very little - but gives so much in return. He doesn't require us to be in a church every Sunday, but oh my goodness, it's such a blessing to BE there. Old or new, that door offers so much...not just a home, but a heart that knows for sure He's right again.
Why should that surprise me? He is ALWAYS right.

This post is for my friend, Nancy. She's always right too. I love you, Nance.

2011-07-22T09:45:00.007-05:00

Treasures in Jars of Clay

Thanks for coming back. I know, I know, it's been awhile.

We are two months into Laurie's deployment now - never thought when she left that I could get past the first day. But the days and weeks are passing quickly for her - and for us as well. I suspect busy-ness has something to do with it. She is busy there - thank goodness, and is able to Skype once a week. She looks good and looks forward to letters and packages - she shares everything with the other soldiers in her unit so I always try to send a variety of things. We try to send pictures by email of Kasey doing just the day to day things, and of anything special that might be going on.
For me, it's taking care of the house, and cooking, and most important to me, making sure that my 3 Colorado men - big and little - get through the days.
And of course sending letters and packages to a faraway place.

Then there is my 4th guy back in Buffalo trying to get through this deployment too. I know that Scott always has his little sister on his mind even with the things he and Vi are trying to prepare for. They are doing well, but Vi has surgery again in a few weeks to re-do the original surgical procedure which needed undoing in emergency surgery because of the infection that set in only a couple of days after the original. I can't go back to Buffalo this time and so I hope he understands that his mom and dad are there in spirit and in our hearts. Tough decisions for a mom and dad. They (and we) are hoping they might be able to get here in the fall for a week or so when Vi's doctor allows her to travel. We will try to help them as much as possible with their airfare.

Kasey is doing pretty good - misses his mom, but we are trying to do at least one fun day out every week. We've been to the movies twice this week - on Tuesday my friend called and asked if Kasey and I would like to go to the movies with her and her daughter. We did and it was a lot of fun. We saw Zookeeper and it was a cute movie. The next day Ron and I had a planned "date" with Kasey - movie (Mr. Popper's Penguins - really cute), Wal-mart and out for dinner. Although we were hoping that Stephen could join us for dinner, his hours were too long for that. But we had a great time - and somehow, at Wal-mart, Kasey even talked Grandpa into buying him a sizable water gun. Not the "soaker" but a respectable size. LOL. School will start in less than a month so we are making the most of the time we have left.

I sometimes wonder, from day to day, what the next day will bring. But unless we have appointments or something, we take one day at a time. I have had my "bad" Laurie days when I wake up in the morning missing her and worrying about her. And it's really pointless because by the time our day is getting started after breakfast, hers is over and she is on her way to dreamland. This makes the time go more quickly also since we go by the days on her calendar, not ours. :-)

As a result of the trip to AZ, I have been to a hearing aid specialist and am now awaiting a pair of hearing aids. One for both ears. They will help with clarity, and with actual hearing as well. The doctor said that I might find the improvement hard to get used to since my hearing has been so limited for so long. I'm thinking this will be something I will adjust to in no time. :) How thankful I am that my insurance covers all but $360.

You might find the title to this post a bit odd, but I base it on the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:7 which says:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us."

You see, I am just me - a wife/mom/grandma - fragile as any other human being, susceptible to breaks and cracks as are jars of clay. But in me, when I feel that fragility and I think I have to do everything, or BE everything, I also know that it won't be by MY strength, but by what God and His Son do to help me through. It's stronger than any strength I could summon on my own...none of this is my own doing, and I am SOOO thankful for that.
I am only the fragile jar of clay and He and the gift of His Son are the treasure. Thankfully, God has also given me the faith to know that I carry that treasure - but again, not by my own doing.

Blessings my friends and thank you for stopping by, and for your prayers.

God bless our troops, and those who love them.

2011-06-16T11:19:00.001-05:00

As Time Passes....

SO, here we are at nearly a month into Laurie's deployment. We are hunkered down for the remainder - only 11 months now - but some days it's a bit hard. Okay that's a lie....it's REALLY hard. But we are in good company with hundreds of thousands of other military families and so I often stop what I am doing and thank God that I realize it's not just all about us. The days have passed quickly for me - trying to keep busy with Kasey, and cleaning, and all the things there are to do here at home. The puppy is doing her best to be beautiful, but she is a puppy after all, and it's a darned good thing that she IS beautiful or she would be outside a great deal of the day. The honor system isn't working real well yet (those beautiful brown eyes which say, "okay grandma, you can let me out now, and I'll be good the rest of the day" can be very deceptive), but we'll get there.
I tell her that all the time just so she doesn't forget that her humans are the boss. Yup. Sure we are.

Laurie is settled at her duty station and she likes where she is. We finally got the correct address for her so hopefully the packages we sent to the first one will be forwarded to her from the base she was at in the beginning. She usually skypes on the weekends so we get to see her and I can give the okay that, yes, she looks good. Tomorrow I am going shopping for her next package (s). I try to pick up this and that every time I shop but still, it takes awhile to get a good package together. We email occasionally but I let her take the lead on that since her internet time is limited right now and she does, after all, have Stephen to keep in touch with.

And so, as time passes, I realize that as a wife/mom/grandma/friend I do not have a job description. It's whatever God/my family/those I love need me to be.
Please, Lord....help me each moment of every day to be what YOU need me to be. And Lord, please bless our troops and every single person who loves them.

2011-06-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

To the best Army ever to be formed in the world, HAPPY 236th BIRTHDAY to our US ARMY.

May God bless each and every soldier who has ever, or still does wear the uniform of a US Army Soldier.

Today is also flag day. Our proud symbol of America - the STARS and STRIPES....adopted on June 14, 1777, by the Second Continental Congress. Back then there were just 13 stars but she flew just as proudly as she does today.

May God bless America and those who keep her free.

2011-05-30T12:02:00.000-05:00

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

When I changed the background for Two Star Mom a couple of weeks ago, this one seemed to fit the bill very well.
This being Memorial Day, I could say a lot....with Laurie being deployed it casts a new light on our days.
But I will just say thank you to the Armed Forces and their loved ones. For those who gave all, and their families, we know you are remembering them today as you do everyday. Just know that WE are also remembering them as we SHOULD remember them every day.

And to those who serve NOW, I pray God's loving hand upon you no matter where you serve. You give us so much in your service.
Namely - Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

A happiness that sometimes means a warm puppy and his little boy.

God bless our troops and those who love them.

2011-05-10T11:04:00.004-05:00

Making Lemonade .

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Of course that old saying has been around for ages.
But how sweet is that lemonade going to be ~ how much sugar do you have to add to make it drinkable?

I guess deployments are what military families consider lemons...and the days and weeks leading up to them can be filled with lots of lemonade making if it's all taken in the context of "it's what we do." We know a lot about that around here....and every day, learning more.

Things are going well here, the kids spending as much time together as possible, and including us many times. We are enjoying Kasey's t-ball games, sometimes an impromptu lunch afterwards on Saturday mornings, but we know that THEIR time together is really important at this time so we don't always say yes. We know that now is not the time to be selfish, but yet we can sense that time with her mom and dad is as important to Laurie as it is to us. I am trying not to show any stress about the deployment, but occasionally ask a question or two which Laurie is most happy to answer if she is able to. She does look a little tired - but I think she is sleeping okay and actually, so am I. As long as I don't wake up in the middle of the night, it's all good. Waking up in the middle of the night is NOT good for the well being of the military mom because the brain goes on over drive in those dark hours.

I know I haven't been around much ~ to be honest, there's not a lot to say. I have my own thoughts about the death of OBL, but do not wish to share them here. Call it a security measure.
Some of you understand, and I am thinking even if you are not walking in the shoes you still hear the difficulty of wearing them. This is the most difficult time for military loved ones ~ the time leading up to deployment. Once your soldier leaves, you switch gears and it becomes prayer and trust, shopping and baking, writing letters and sending packages. Not to mention doing what needs to be done to get everyone here through each day...and hopefully helping Laurie get through it over there as well with as many hugs from home that can possibly be sent.. As always, it will be one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.
And oh yes, did I mention prayer and trust? Sorry if I am repeating myself.

This week I am going to try something different. No lemonade. It's going to be a lemon chiffon pie. More calories, for sure, but sweeter...and garnished with fresh whipped cream around the edges.
And the recipe tells me EXACTLY how much sugar to use.

I think everyone in our home can use the change.
God bless you and God bless our troops. Thank you for the prayers that I know you are sending Heavenward for the men and women who serve. Their loved ones could probably use a few too, please. :)

Hugs to you all and thanks for stopping by.
Sue

2011-04-10T09:35:00.003-05:00

DARN IT. Guess I Can Use the Yarn After All.

About a week ago, Stephen came home from work and announced that Laurie wouldn't be deployed after all.
I RAN across the kitchen to the living room, where Stephen was standing by the couch. I screamed, and cried, and hugged Stephen as he laughed, and hugged me back. It seems that someone in Stephen's new brigade, a COL, hadn't given up on it once he heard about it when Stephen was transferred there. He had gone all the way to the top to have Laurie's deployment reversed, and told Stephen's platoon Captain that it was successful and to let Stephen know - which he did. Because Stephen said that it was "as 100 percent certain as the Army gets, we told Scott and Vi, we told my younger sister, and our closest friends. When Laurie returned home from officer training last weekend, we hugged her and told her how thankful we were that she was going to stay at home. Don't get me wrong - Laurie has never shirked her duty, and we wouldn't want her to....it's just not in her. But a legitimate change in orders and transfer to a different company was not shirking her duty - it was about several officers from Stephen's brigade trying to keep a family together for a year who hadn't had a full year together in over 4 years. As Laurie hugged us back, she said not to count on it since her company didn't know about it yet and she didn't know if it would go through. I didn't blog about it here or at Living A Dream because after 13 years of riding this roller coaster, I'm never quite sure of the guy in the station who controls the car we're riding in. Know what I mean? Is he going to listen to his own instincts or to the quiet voice telling him to stop the ride for a little while because it's been going up and down too often?

So I had all this yarn I had purchased to make Laurie an afghan for her deployment - to wrap around her when she gets cold, or tired....or lonely for home. And now, with Laurie not deploying, I had this wonderful dilemma about who to make an afghan for....several suggestions to me were a home for abused women, or for a nursing home - someone disadvantaged.

Laurie came home on Thursday after running errands, and checking on some things over on post. She wasn't in the door 30 seconds when her cell rang. She looked at the caller ID, and ran upstairs to take the call. This was my first inkling that we were about to find out some news...and something told me it wasn't going to be happy news. A few minutes later I heard her talking to Ron, and then she came downstairs to the kitchen where I was getting dinner ready to put in the oven.
It seems that the 100% as sure as the Army gets turned out to be 50/50. There is another Army officer also trying to get his orders reversed for the same reasons, and since he out ranks Laurie, it will probably swing in his favor.
Therefore, we are in preparation mode, this time for Laurie. We were so disappointed for the kids, and for Kasey. And, okay, for us too. Sending our little girl to such a strange place will not be easy - especially for Ron. Alright, for me as well. But I will use the time ahead to make sure every moment we have before she deploys is as easy as it can be. I don't know when she leaves, but it will be too soon. And every day she is over there I will keep as busy as I can trying to make it pass quickly for us all. Every thought of her will be a prayer - for all of us.
So the dilemma about the afghan isn't as wonderful as it was, but that I CAN do this for my little girl is a blessing to me. Now I will decide on the pattern, and knit every moment I can when she is at work during the day. And at night after she has gone to bed. It will be one of those gifts that I can't watch her open because it won't be done before she leaves. And even though she probably will have to leave it behind when her deployment is over because of baggage space, leaving it for someone else will be her way of letting someone else know that they are in good hands. The hands of our Father.
I am so hoping that when this afghan is around her shoulders, she will feel not just the love between a mom and a daughter, but the prayers of a mom as well. That she will know each knit or purl is a prayer.

Dear Lord, let her not only feel my love for her, but YOUR love which is stronger and mightier than any love.

2011-03-05T15:40:00.000-05:00

Circle of Life - and Love.

We are getting ready for Stephen. He'll be home soon - a blessing we never expected when he left for the sand in October. Even though it's only been 5 months -the time has probably gone much more quickly for us than for him-I know it's been much harder on the kids with all the ups and downs. There have been changes made by the Army, promotions which are good, but have altered the course of things for Laurie and Stephen both.
But the circle of life continues. Kasey still goes to school every day, and Ron and I keep our routine fairly simple so that we can keep Kasey's life on an even keel too. There's the occasional "want to go have breakfast before we go run our errands?" in the mornings after Ron takes Kasey to school. I never turn that down. :) And of course, the new "adventure" of shopping at the commissary because we are eligible as Kasey's guardians. We went there last week, not heeding Laurie's advice of never shopping there on the 1st or the 15th or on Saturday. Uh huh - she knows what she's talking about. But life is good - complicated sometimes, but good.
Last night was Kasey's birthday party - 13 boys and girls aged 5 and 6. Quite an experience to plan and carry out, but one which we wouldn't have missed for anything. Tomorrow some dear friends of Laurie and Stephen (therefore OUR dear friends as well) , and their girls, too, are coming over for swiss steak dinner and all the fixings. I am fighting off a cold - or something. Shopping in the PX this morning for a couple of last minute Kasey presents was a bit difficult as the feverish and stuffy feeling started working it's gradual "magic" on my system. I am headed for the couch in just a few minutes but first, this post.
So back to the title of my post. I've spoken in part of the circle of life. But the circle of love isn't so easy. It brings tears to my eyes and wonder to my heart when I think of it.
As I was dusting Stephen's chest of drawers the other day in preparation for his return, a small and wonderful symbol of Laurie's and Stephen's love caught my eye. When Stephen left in October, he left his wedding band here - he often loses weight when he is over "there" so he generally leaves his wedding band here with Laurie. She keeps it for him - wears it on a gold chain quite often. But when she came home for President's Day weekend, she placed it on his dresser so that it would be waiting for him when he gets home. She knew then that he would be home soon.
I gently picked it up so I could dust the dresser, and placed it lovingly back in the spot where I found it.
Life, love, and marriage.. Faithfulness, and a steadfast love between two people all represented in a simple gold band. The Army may keep them apart, but their love keeps them together across the miles.
Each day I pray for them - that they are strong in their separations and safe as they wait for their reunions. And sometimes, His answers are so clear - as clear and present as the gold band of a husband/soldier/dad waiting to come home.

2011-02-23T15:24:00.001-05:00

It's About the Soldier's Sibling Too.

Several years ago when I began this blog, I mentioned that being a military mom isn't JUST about being a military mom. There is Scott as well, our son who is back in Buffalo with his family. After a somewhat amicable divorce from his first wife, Tina, Scott met and fell in love with Violet. We love Vi as our daughter already, and she always makes sure we know the feeling is mutual. She is an awesome young woman who not only loves Scott, but Veronica as well. Tina knows this - Vi gives Veronica wonderful care every weekend when she comes to visit. This is all good.
Recently, Vi has had some serious health issues related to Crohn's disease. If you are familiar with this disease, you know that it is very painful and can cause serious complications. The complications part finally caught up to Vi and she will be having surgery in a couple of weeks. Scott has been very worried and I knew that not going to Buffalo to support them is just not an option. Laurie realizes this and understands that I need to go and help her brother and his fiance right now.
Got a great fare on a flight after Vi called me this morning with her surgery date, and I'll be boarding a plane to Buffalo to go and help out the kids for about 10 days. As much as I hate to be going for the REASON I am going, I am excited that I will see Scott and Vi and Veronica more than once this year. I hope to see some friends and extended family while I am there, but every visit that I have with others outside of my time with the kids will be a bonus. A BIG bonus.
Of course there are Ron and Kasey who will stay here, and that means two holes in my heart for 10 days. BIG holes. My two men, big and small will miss me a little bit too, (I hope), but I am so thankful for the price of the flight that makes this visit so much easier on our budget, and for the income tax refund which came our way just in time. God does bring blessings even in the difficulties of life.
And so, I need to begin my lists. There are many: Kasey's birthday party list, the meals I want to put in the freezer before I leave, the little incidentals I need from Walmart before I leave....socks, makeup, a pair of jeans and/or new sneakers. And of course the little "somethings" I want to take to Scott, and Vi, to Veronica, and to Luke.
It IS about the soldier's sibling, and even though so much of my life is here in CO, those I love in Buffalo are just as much of a blessing to me and I am ALWAYS mindful of - and thankful for - them.
I can't wait to wrap my arms around them all.

2011-02-08T18:20:00.001-05:00

I Guess It Runs In the Family

Since Laurie and Stephen are both away, Ron and I are the "parents" who now receive the emails from Kasey's teacher so we know what we are supposed to be doing and what needs to be done or what the kids are supposed to be doing as class or individual assignments. Since we have both met his teacher, it's been a very easy transition - most of the time. The homework was a little intimidating until I figured out the website but now things are going pretty smoothly. Of course I always forward the emails to Laurie so she knows what is going on.
The other day we "parents" received an email outlining a poster project the kids were being asked to do, and the plans for the Valentine's Day party.
The project - very specific - was to make a poster using 100 of the same thing - buttons, beads, anything crafty. They are celebrating 100s week. When I told Kasey that night at the dinner table that we needed to make a poster, I asked him what he thought he wanted to make.
"A FLAG, GRANDMA!!"
Boy after my own heart. And so, we went to Michael's on Saturday, bought everything - we chose buttons - and started the project on Sunday morning. Felt, GLUE (way too much glue but it was a glue stick so it made for less mess), red, white, and blue buttons. Stars, hearts, plain buttons - all red, white, and blue. This morning I went to Hobby Lobby to get the yellow buttons for the yellow ribbon banner which I had suggested ("GREAT IDEA, GRANDMA!!"). And of course enough white buttons for the stars.
Above you see Kasey with the finished product. A proud little boy - not of his achievement, but that it represents his pride in his mom and dad.
Things have changed here - we will not be moving. Stephen might be coming home earlier than we expected and Laurie will be deploying much sooner than she and Stephen (or Ron and I) ever expected.
Kasey doesn't know any of the changes yet - doesn't know that his Mom will now be one of those soldiers we pray for at dinner (as his Daddy is now) when we add to the blessing, "and please Lord, watch over the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan."
Another difficult year ahead - but his pride runs deep. And as I mentioned earlier, a boy after my own heart.
Your prayers are appreciated, very, very much.
God bless our troops.

2011-01-26T11:36:00.000-05:00

Three Up, Three Down. Almost There!

Last night, when Laurie checked in to let us know she was almost to her base where she will do her officer training, she told us that Stephen had made the selection list for E-8. Master Sgt. 3 up, 3 down. His selection number on the list is low, so we expect that very soon - before his deployment is over ~ he will be, officially, a MSG.

In early October, just before he left for the sand, we were going somewhere in Stephen's truck. I went to get in the back seat and there were folders and papers all over the place. Stephen gathered them all up and apologized for the truck being in such disarray. He told me he was up for E-8 and he was getting all his stuff ready to send to the board before he left for the sand. He was really hoping to make it in this year's selection.

Last deployment, he was so thankful that none of his soldiers were lost - they all came home. They did missions 6 out of 7 days a week during that deployment and sometimes when he called, he sounded so tired. Usually it would be in the pre-dawn hours of the morning his time, dinner time for us. But he made sure that the first thing he did when he got back in was to call Laurie at school, and then Kasey at our house. His words were sometimes few, but they counted. And to hear his voice was music to our ears.

A military couple gives up a lot. Time together, time with their children, living in the grit and grime of deserts far away, and wondering just when they will see and hold each other again. They are humble about what they do - "it's my job" they say, and when you thank a soldier, they thank YOU for appreciating them.

Yes, maybe it's not humble to announce achievements. But I do, as we all do when our kids do well. It's because I am happy and thankful for THEM. Nothing they work for is easily attained - like everyone else in the world, they know that if it's worth working for, it's reachable. No matter how long it takes.
We love Stephen as our own son.

Three up, three down. I can't wait to see it on our soldier son.

2011-01-18T16:25:00.005-05:00

Dog Tags.....and The Word.

Warmth is the new frame of mind we'll soon be in as we prepare for our move from Colorado to Texas
(and I use the word "warm" loosely because we will be headed into more than just your average warm temps), Laurie and Stephen's appeal to remain here has been officially denied and so we are moving forward...or South, actually.

I thought it was time I dressed up my blogs - to give them a face lift and make them a bit more individual. Hope you like what you are seeing - it's fun and since it's been nearly 5 years since Two Star Mom was begun, I thought different would be good. The words you read, however, will be from the same heart.

I joined a new "extras" website this morning - wanted to find a picture that captures what being a military mom is all about - at least for me. And I think I found the perfect one - the dog tags draped over the Bible that you see at the right of this post.

So much of our lives - Ron's and mine - has been about dog tags. Ron and his Navy service, and both of us as parents (and parents in law) of two children in the Army. And as I've said from the beginning of this blog 5 years ago, it's not just about my children who serve, but my other kids, and my grand kids, who need just as much love, and support, and as many prayers as my soldiers do.
And that's where the Bible part of this enters the picture - The Word in which we trust. It's the truth, the promises, the assurance that God is with us - and with all of our family. The military moms website many of us belong to claims Psalm 91 over all of our troops - I claim it, amongst other passages - over all of my family.

Verse 11 says: "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;"

I have always believed that God's path for us is pre-ordained, and ironically, my friend Sandy mentioned in a comment on my other blog this morning that perhaps there is a fate filled reason for the denial of the appeal to remain where we are.
And I also believe that mankind has often interfered with the plans God makes for us. Is this God's ever protective hand leading us and guiding us along His path instead of the one the appeal might have changed?
Perhaps so. We will probably never know the answer to that. But we can trust, can't we?
His Word behind a set of dog tags - it's good enough for this mom.

2011-01-13T17:27:00.006-05:00

Still Just Our Little Girl.

Last week, this roller coaster stopped in a really good place:
after two of the longest years of her life, Laurie received her Commission as a 1LT. as she earned her Masters Degree in Physician Assistant studies.

Hours and hours of study, two or three exams per week, long hours of classroom instruction, and many nights when more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep just wasn't to be had, she completed the Armed Forces Physician Assistant program. It is the complete 4 year civilian PA program done in 2 years with absolutely no shortcuts. They earn their Bachelor's degree the first year, and all of their Graduate studies are completed in the second year, with their clinical rotations and the exams which are administered to the students after each rotation is complete. To say that these students took 75-100 exams is not an exaggeration. In fact, I know this is a low estimate.

As Ron and I stood side by side listening to (first) the commission, and then the oath of office ~ administered by a Captain who was also Laurie's fellow graduate ~ I thought back to Laurie as a basic training graduate so many years ago. Nearly 13 years older than she was back then, with a few more smile lines around her eyes, she is still our baby girl. And as Ron and Kasey pinned a bar on one side, and I did the same on the other, I knew that it wouldn't take much for those tears I was holding back to escape.

I cannot tell you what this means to Laurie and to her little family. Truly I think only God knows what is in Laurie's heart. There are a couple of other pictures over on my other blog, but the picture above kind of captures the one moment when those tears that I had SO not wanted to be shed, finally escaped...but it wasn't just my tears that were being shed. Since Stephen is in the sand, the officers in charge of the ceremony had made arrangements for him to be there via SKYPE. He witnessed the entire graduation and promotion ceremonies and at the end, as Laurie walked over to the computer to give him her love, he stood and saluted her. Not too many eyes were dry at that moment. I cry even as I type this now. It's not so much the pride, but rather the realization of what it took....that it's over, and yet just beginning for them. Stephen has many months remaining in his deployment and so it will be up to Laurie, with our help, to move us all to her (and eventually Stephen's) new duty station.

Many, if not most, of these new PAs will serve in harm's way very soon. From their graduation, to their new post, and then to one sandbox or another, leaving family behind to settle in their new homes.

Thank you for your prayers for our family, and for all of this nation's military. Only those who walk in the shoes understand, but your support means the world to us.

God bless you for being a blessing to all who serve - and to all of us who love them.

2010-12-23T09:07:00.005-05:00

Magic Moments

Last night, as I sat here at my computer, I smiled as I remembered the day behind me. We had taken Kasey to the North Pole to see Santa. So many wonderful things to see, stores to visit, and of course, the big man himself. It was a wonderful day - from beginning to end. Kasey was a little shy about going into Santa Claus' house though...something about being at the North Pole and all really seemed to make it seem different for him. But he had his list, and when the line finally grew small and it was our turn to see Santa, Kasey looked up at us as though he wasn't sure about all of this. His mother's son for sure, since Laurie was never crazy about visiting Santa either. As you can see, he did just fine. The Santa was very attentive...read Kasey's list and was so pleasant. We've had some grouchy mall Santas in our history so this was a treat.
When we were nearly ready to leave the park, Kasey saw a couple of rides he wanted to go on so Ron took him over to get started while I finished up some shopping. When I got to where the guys were, Ron was just about ready to call it a day. He has this sinus infection that he finally went to the VA clinic for the other day and is finally on antibiotics. The weather was perfect for the North Pole....the trees had a coating of snow/ice on them that set the tone for the day.
The last ride Kasey went on needed a grandma too - grandpa didn't think he was ready for one of those spin and you know what rides. So the second picture tells that story...except I should have realized that it wasn't an ideal ride for someone with tinnitus and vertigo and inner ear problems. Nope...but it was sooo much fun to hold Kasey and spin around with him that who could blame a grandma for wanting to?
Just as I slept the computer for the night, I looked over and saw Laurie's Army boots sitting on the floor behind the couch. I moved them over to the Christmas tree and took the last picture I've included in this post.
It's a little bit fuzzy, but then, so is the world of an American soldier. The boots are always standing at the ready, no matter what soil they walk on. It's a difficult life, but a good life just the same. It's a blessed life for Laurie and for us as her mom and dad...people sometimes wander through life wondering where their niche is. Laurie has found hers - found it many years ago.

As she completes her program, and prepares to become an officer, I think back on the miles beneath the boots...to where they have taken her, and to where they are yet to go. Only God knows His plans for her...and we wait (not always patiently) for those plans to unfold. It's not always easy to see her go through the separations from Stephen during his deployment, or to see the circles under her eyes from so much studying and too little sleep, and yes, probably a little bit of worry about exams, and presentations. But she is on the home stretch now, with school done, her rotations complete, and graduation just ahead. These are all gifts to be treasured, and why I put those boots she wears under the Christmas tree to take the picture.
For now, those magic moments of yesterday with Kasey, and the anticipation of every day to come will be enough to make this mom and grandma smile and be thankful.
Merry Christmas my friends - may you have many wonderful moments - the kind which bring thankful prayers to the One who gives them to us.

2010-11-21T11:43:00.003-05:00

We Just Never Know...

We just never know what God has in store for us. When Stephen left 6 weeks ago, it was hard to imagine what it meant to him - what was going through this little family's hearts and minds. He told us to have a good year. Easier said than done for him, though. After Laurie returned from her training for the first part of the program in TX, The kids had 10 months to be a family together and it went so fast. But as that 10 months went so quickly, we could only pray that his deployment would go quickly as well.
And so, the roller coaster ride continues. The highs of Laurie's program being very close to being completed, and then she could settle down and practice what she learned. It would give her some down time - FINALLY! But then Laurie found out last week that she will be assigned to one of the Army posts in Texas. Did this mean she and Stephen would be at separate posts when he returned? It looked that way. She emailed her program coordinator to find out what was going to happen. Who would Kasey live with? But no, when Stephen gets back from the sand, he will also move there so they will still be together. They were supposed to stay here, but the Army doesn't always remember what they say. Thing is, logistically speaking, the move is pretty much in Laurie's hands. We will do all we can, of course, as far as the actual move. But the planning, the dates to be coordinated, and finding a new place to live for the five of us will be pretty much up to Laurie. Stephen will help her find a home via the wonders of internet and we will stay here until Kasey finishes the school year, and then follow Laurie. Thankfully the Army will pack and move them, so we can be here for that too. We will move out so the house can be rented, and live at a hotel for a couple of weeks until Kasey is done with school. They would like us to stay with them - to help with Kasey AND because Stephen (in Laurie's words, "loves you and likes having you around."). I guess Laurie and Kasey do also. :)
But we will increase what we give Laurie each week to help with additional expenses. There will be a small war over this but we are still the parents. I love being the parent!
When a soldier leaves for deployment, he or she just never knows what the year will hold. But they trust that they will come home to the people who love them.
This is no different for Stephen - he has people who love him and he knows that we trust as he does - that God will bring him safely home. And home is not where his house is, but where his loved ones live.
And do you know what? Two Star Banners are ok to hang in the Lone Star state too. It will be the last thing I pack here, and the first thing I unpack in our new home.
Blessings my friends.

2010-11-11T13:16:00.003-05:00

More Than Words.

The roller coaster....it's something that many Americans are riding on every day....and maybe not at an amusement park. But it's a ride that brings many emotions....fear, excitement, ups, downs, and on some days, you just never know what you are going to get because the curves are a little too sharp to see what's ahead.
But to love someone - or more than one someone - who serves in the military is the proudest ride a person could ever experience in a lifetime. We are blessed to have our daughter and son in law both serving. Laurie has been in for 12 years, Stephen for nearly 16.
This morning there was a Veterans appreciation assembly at Kasey's school. We went with Laurie...and when they asked all current and former members of the military to stand, I was so proud to watch as Laurie, and Ron, who is a Navy veteran of the Vietnam war, both stood. Many, many active military were present at the assembly and with a military band there to boot, it didn't take me long to use the tissues I had stuffed in my pocket as we left the house. Kasey was there in the front row with all the rest of his class and it was awesome to see the kids as they waved their flags during the closing song - Proud To Be An American - not sung by Lee Greenwood but by the school kids themselves. They knew every note, every up and down and pause and the words were heartfelt as they sang.
Laurie also cried - I know it was a difficult assembly for her with Stephen in the sand and I know that she was wishing he could be with us too. I was glad I had extra tissues - she needed them. And as we listened and watched and smiled and cried, it could only be appreciated in full to be in one of those roller coaster cars. To understand that these kids and teachers REALLY wanted to give a tribute and to know that a lot of planning went into every bit of the program.
The tears today were not just Laurie's and mine. To look around and see them in the eyes of men and women in their military uniforms, the veterans with their dignified posture, and the kids in their colorful red, white, and blue (and they managed some pretty ingenious ways to get those colors into one outfit :) - all of these things a reminder that the brave who have fought, those who still take up their arms to protect us, and those who have given that ultimate sacrifice which can never be forgotten by all they leave behind - did so because they were and are Americans who are loyal to our flag. And they want(ed) to keep us free. To think our present day military actually volunteer to do all this...to risk all of this - is pretty amazing.
I am having trouble getting my head wrapped around all of this today - words aren't enough, and even the ones this thankful heart prompts me to type are not adequate.
But because of those who serve(d) - including my own two soldiers and the man I have loved for 41 years - I cried tears of pride and thanksgiving, and maybe even a little pain and anguish this morning. They are cleansing. and there is no shame in them.
And when Kasey gets home from school today, the hug I give him will be a little longer because I know that he is serving too. He will not understand now, but someday, on another Veteran's Day, he will know.
Thank you for stopping by - please say a prayer today for those who have served, who still serve, and for those who love them. They would be so appreciated.

2010-11-04T09:46:00.004-05:00

A Nation of Change?

I'm not a political person. I have my views and opinions of course like everyone else, but I don't normally voice them in my blogs. I believe that my vote counts, though, and that when I voted for President Bush in both of the Presidential elections when he was on the ballot, I had made a choice which I felt good about personally, it was also the choice I felt was best for the country. And as President Obama said yesterday, this is what makes a democracy great - the right of our people to chose. Despite the fact that the wars begun during President Bush's first term in office are still requiring my own two soldiers and their little boy to be far apart from each other more times than I care to count, they are not complaining and not questioning the need for their separations and service on foreign soil. And if they don't, far be it for me to second guess this life they have chosen. This is their lives - in more ways than one - and they are together in it whether they are on American soil, or somewhere far away. And every time they sign their name on that dotted line to serve additional years, they know and understand that the sacrifices may be greater than they are bargaining for, but which they are willing to risk.

As voters spoke on Tuesday at the polls, it was clear we are a nation looking for new folks to decide important issues for us in Washington. Since we are not residents of Colorado, we were not eligible to vote, but the results were just as important to us. The Governor's race in NY still held our interest since my pension is resting in the NY State retirement system...changes there could affect our future here. And of course Scott and his family are impacted by NY state government every single day.

The other night I was watching the Giants/Rangers world series game and as in all the previous games, the song during the seventh inning stretch was not 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' but rather 'God Bless America' - a song which always brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. As I watched the singers (members of the Armed Forces) trade places at the microphone, the camera panned throughout the crowd and to the players. Hands over hearts, lips moving, and just some folks standing there in respect for our country and for what we stand for. After the singers were done, and the crowd continued cheering, there was a camera shot of both Presidents Bush riding across the field in a motorized cart, saluting to the singers because they were military. And the crowd cheered for both of them as they did for God Bless America, and those who had sung it.

A nation of change? Perhaps we are, yes. And this change is not just shown in elections but rather in the affection and respect Americans have for those who serve. Remembering the disrespect so many of our country's men and women had for the soldiers (and by soldiers, I am encompassing all of our military branches) returning from the VietNam war, it's felt deeply to see the current generation of the Armed Forces being appreciated. Since Ron is a VietNam vet, he especially notices the respect the people of our country have for those who serve...and the thanks our citizens give to those returning from Iraq and Afghanistan....or to those they happen to meet on Anystreet, USA. There are many Americans who do not agree with the wars, but they are giving the respect to those who are fighting them, and keeping us safe at home.

A nice thing, don't you think? As a two star mom, I can tell you it's a wonderful to know that although my children no longer serve in a time of peace, they serve a nation who is thankful.

Blessings my friends,

Sue

2010-10-12T14:41:00.002-05:00

It's That Time.

A few days ago, we hugged Stephen as he left with Laurie and Kasey to report for his deployment. He told us to have a good year - and all I could say as I hugged him was, "be safe, soldier" and then a weak "I love you" since my voice couldn't make it past the lump in my throat. I held him longer and tighter than ever before - I didn't do well at all. Which didn't help Laurie either since Ron cried as he shook hands and hugged Stephen as well. When she got back with Kasey a little while later, she was composed, and Kasey was ok too. Go figure, a little kid does better than a couple of senior citizens.
And so, we are into it - his third long deployment, fourth trip to the sand altogether. Yesterday, Laurie and I went to a scrapbooking place to see what they had (they had LOTS of really good stuff-a little pricey) and we will return there this weekend to buy. I need to make a practical list of what I need. Are practical and scrapbooking even in the same language?
Kasey and I are doing a two step - Kasey is dancing around the fact that Grandma is here to help him, although I fully realize that I am NOT "the boss of his toys." This in no uncertain terms from Kasey on Sunday when I asked him to please put some of his toys away.
I've asked Laurie to be straight with me - to let me know when she wants to do something for Kasey that I try to do. She's quite a young woman - independent, but still says very matter of factly that she still needs her mom and dad. It's good to be needed and not only needed, but wanted.
Kasey is grounded from cartoons today ('cause his mommy said so), so we will play a game after dinner. Kids version of Rummikub. Stephen said it might be even more difficult for us because we have to keep track of pictures AND numbers. Smart aleck. So we'll see how we do and then I can write and tell Stephen how we do....well, MAYBE I'll tell him. It depends on if he's right or not. :)
Digging our heels in, praying for the year ahead, and praying hard for all of our troops...not just for Kasey's mom and dad.

2010-10-01T21:14:00.003-05:00

Up....or Down?

It's been awhile since I've posted here - most of my posts this summer have been over on my other blog. We've had a wonderful, memory making, but crazy busy summer working at a CO state park as camp hosts. For me, it meant many hours in Campground Services - checking campers in, selling them everything from soup to nuts to marshmallows - not to mention ice and firewood, and assigning sights to those who came in without a reservation but wanting to do some camping at available sites. There were the explanations of why I couldn't give them a week's worth of camping (we can only give the walk-ins two nights at a time because of the probability of double booking sites with the online reservations filling up the campground so quickly and double booking is a nightmare), lots of labor, but I loved every minute of it. Ron's jobs were a little more diversified since he was camp hosting (cleaning and checking sites to make sure everything was going ok with the campers and the campground). He also worked in the Entrance Station which he loved doing, greeting and selling passes ("I know you are only checking out the campground...that's only six dollars for a parks pass, sir").
But indeed the summer is over and we find that we are once again counting days until Stephen is deployed for the fourth time. We all know that life is a roller coaster for those who love a soldier - or two soldiers. It's more like the cyclone with two soldiers, but roller coaster nonetheless. A roller coaster is a roller coaster - doesn't matter how high the hills are, how sharp the curves, or how fast it rolls on the track. To make it a little easier for Laurie because of her hours, we have moved into their home to help with Kasey once Stephen is deployed. To be here if she is on call, or has to leave for work at 0500, or doesn't get home until 9 pm. Then there will be additional training during which she goes to another state for a couple of months.
So the question is, when you go through deployment, (again), is the car going UP, or DOWN?
Is it the going up that's so rough....when you don't know what's on the other side of the hill, or how far and how fast you will fall? Or is it the going down that's so difficult? It's going so fast that you can't see what's in front of you, or next to you... you can't breathe, you fear you will fall out, and the curves just seem to shake every bone in your body til it feels like you will fall apart. Is the down part when someone you love goes away, or is that the up part because you feel you will never get to see the top. You just keep walking up that hill, holding on for dear life.
And thankfully, we know our Father is walking with us. Sometimes He carries us and we know that we are in good and loving arms.
Up....or down. It doesn't really matter I guess. As long as I know Who is walking with us - and appreciating the fact that I know you will keep us in your prayers.
Just as you always have and because of this, I know we are in good company.
Blessings my friends - you are each a blessing to me.

2010-09-11T06:59:00.003-05:00

In Remembrance.....

and in prayer for those lost on 9/11/2001 and for their families.

And asking God to bless our troops and this great country they serve.

2010-08-19T00:27:00.002-05:00

Some Things Never Change.

Yeah, I know. It's been more than a month since I've posted. Not for lack of things happening in our lives, it's just finding the time to do it in. We have been working lots of hours - which is good because it keeps us old folks busy. But I've been avoiding this post because it means that I have to admit Stephen will be leaving shortly for THAT place again. And so, like any red blooded American military mom of two soldiers, it has begun again. You know...the not knowing the exact date but knowing it's coming soon. The fact that our daughter will be without her husband for another year...and more, since she will deploy somewhere before he gets home. And then there is Kasey, and how he must feel but doesn't let on except in the occasional temper tantrum. At home, at school, at Grandma's and Grandpa's...he's not too picky about where it's going to be. And you know what? Sometimes even the usually mild mannered me wants to have one right along with him. Anyone have some cheese to go with my whine?
But I figured it would be a good night to post because it's one of those nights when I want to go to bed, but not before I know I am sleepy enough to go to sleep because IT is back.
You know, the thinking thing. The staring at the ceiling in the dark, trying not to look at the clock because surely it hasn't been 2 hours since you got in bed. has it? Oh, and did I mention the thinking? If you are a military mom, or spouse, or loved one, you can relate.
We are a blessed family - we have seen 3 deployments for Stephen, and 3 times he has come home safely. Laurie is doing well in her program, and is happy in it. She will deploy shortly after it is completed. We are healthy and able to take care of Kasey when the kids need us - and this will be coming soon. For awhile it will be us, a little boy, his dog, our dog, and Laurie - a wife and mommy and a dear daughter who will be missing her husband. But we are blessed because not every family has the structure we have. Not every grandma and grandpa has the trust of their children to take care of their own child. And we are thankful that we are now in the same city with Laurie and Stephen, because it seems very important to Stephen to want to stop over for a little while, just to spend some time with us. It's nice and we are grateful for this. This morning he brought Kasey over for the day - Stephen had some extra time and decided to just sit and have some coffee with me. Ron was at the VA clinic for some blood tests, and got home in time to share some of this visit too. We don't have to talk to be comfortable - there is always an easy silence - no pregnant pauses, just an easy silence. It's comfortable, you know? And it's
reassuring to have him want to be here with us.
Ok, so "it's" back. But there are also some things which haven't ever left that far outweigh the troubled and worrisome days and nights of this thing called deployment - and pre-deployment.
They are: Faith and Trust.
I guess I can go to bed now.
Blessings,
Sue

2010-07-17T07:37:00.003-05:00

Papa and Veronica -it's been a long, long time.

The Soldier's Sibling

Four years ago this week, I decided to take the plunge from "visitor" to blogger. I decided that it was time to try my hand at this online journaling, and so 'Two Star Mom' was born. In my very first post on July 13, 2006 I mentioned that life as a military mom isn't just about our children who are soldiers, but about their sibling(s) too. In our family, this means Laurie's brother Scott - who is our oldest child.
And just as things have not always been easy for Laurie, Stephen, and Kasey, the same goes for Scott. Marriage, divorce, and having to really stretch things financially at times, Scott has had his share of struggles. But now, things seem to be looking up for him, and as we embraced him and Violet and Veronica at the airport the other day, I sensed a completeness in his life.
And sure enough, as we sat in the comfort of Laurie and Stephen's living room that afternoon, he and Violet announced their engagement. It will be awhile before they are married, but it's a blessing to our family that this is happening. The relationship between Violet and Veronica is also a blessing - Violet loves her as her own and Veronica loves Violet in return, which is not always the case in situations like theirs.
So, while I bask in the happiness of having all of my children with me in the same place, and 2 of my 3 grandchildren, I will savor the roller coaster ride. There will be no looking back - or ahead. We are just waving our arms and enjoying the ride.
Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of these days. And for the goodness you shower on not just our daughter the soldier, but on her brother as well.

2010-06-27T09:01:00.004-05:00

The Hourglass.

When Laurie and Stephen and Ron and I have a day or evening together, one of our favorite things to do is to play a game of Rummikub. Of course since the kids have a little more experience playing it, Ron and I usually lose. But it's so much fun - kind of like playing rummy, building runs and sets on the table with the small tiles that you keep on a little rack in front of you. Stephen is really good at this - he changes the tiles all over the place just to pick out one little tile to make up a small run or set of three. And I get all excited about something I think I can do with the changes he has made, only to have the tiles changed by someone else before my turn comes along (or else I forget what changes I was going to make once it's my turn....yup, more than likely, it's that).
And to make sure that we don't go beyond the 2 minute time limit, a little hourglass comes with the game. Twice the sands run through this hour glass to give you time enough (are you kidding me?) to finish your turn; and once Stephen turns the hourglass, I start to panic knowing that my time is almost up.
This summer kind of reminds me of that game - at least the hourglass part of it. We thought when we got here that we would be able to see the kids much more often. Hours - theirs and ours - kind of prevent that. I am not complaining about our jobs at all - it's a wonderful opportunity to enjoy CO without needing to worry about camping expenses. And just to know that we are so close to the kids is a blessing we haven't ever had for such a long period of time.
But the sands seem to be going far too quickly through this hourglass called summer. Maybe it's because we are getting older - could this be? Yes, it could be. Or maybe it's just that old adage about time flying when you are having fun.
Whatever it is, we are looking at Stephen's deployment in the not too distant future. And the sands are running too quickly. But if they are running this quickly for us, we can only imagine how much faster they are running for Laurie and Stephen.
Of course they look at things differently - as the military often do, especially military families where both husband and wife are military. They don't look too far into the future but rather enjoy each day as it comes. They understand that plans are necessary, but all of that is secondary to the time they have together to just enjoy life.
Thankfully, Kasey is blissfully unaware of how fast the days go - they are all made for preschool, and play and the adventures of little boys. He just trusts that mommy and daddy, (and grandma and grandpa) will take care of him.
Ron and I are so thankful that God has given us the good health and the blessing of being able to do this.
No matter how many times the hourglass needs to be turned.
God bless our troops and those who love them.

2010-06-16T20:50:00.004-05:00

"You Were On My Heart All Night."

Last night near the very end of my shift at the Campground store, a young woman from TX came in to see if we had any tent sites left. We did, and so I asked her if she wanted it for one night or two. She said, "Well, I guess I should call my husband to find out." So they decided one night and I assigned her the site closest to the parking area. They had driven a lot of miles that day and since our tent sites are walk - ins (the campers park in the small parking lot and then walk their gear in), I figured the less walking they had to do, the better. As I was writing out her permit, she asked me if I knew how far Royal Gorge Bridge is from here and I told her. I gave her the directions and told her that while we have been in Colorado so many times, we hadn't yet had a chance to see the bridge. I told her that we have children stationed here, so this job we have for the summer is a Godsend for us. As I was beginning to explain where their campsite would be, and the "bear aware" speech that we give to everyone, she said, "So tell me more about your children. Is it your sons that are here?" She looked surprised when I said it was our daughter and son in law. (It's hard for people to believe daughters serve too - I think this is ok, but I find it kind of amusing that everyone looks surprised...and I don't bat an eyelash). Anyway, she asked me about Laurie and Stephen and I told her about how we will soon be doing another guardianship of Kasey. I told her how we should be used to it after this length of time, but that when they are separated because of their service, it's my goal to make things easier for them all - THEIR separation is harder on my heart than anything.
She asked me my name and I told her....then she reached out, shook hands, and said "I am Jessica - it's nice to meet you Sue." With that, her husband walked in, and she told him that "Sue and I were just having a great conversation about her children....they are in the Army."
I thanked her for her interest, and to enjoy their stay here at the park.
This morning, being off today and not feeling well - a sinus thing, or allergies - I was sitting at the table catching up on my emails at 9 am. Still in my jammies, and drinking my second cup of coffee, I saw a van pull up with tent gear on top and in the back. I knew it was Jessica. I ran to check to see if I looked as bad as I thought I might look (hair was neatly in place and my face was clean :) and Ron hollered from outside, "Sue, you've got a visitor!"
Indeed it was Jessica. I apologized for my appearance and she said she had just come to say goodbye and that she will keep our family in her prayers. She had gone up to the store to look for me but they told her I was off today and they sent her down to our site.
And then she said, "You were on my heart all night long."
Little does she know what that meant to me - and how we count on those prayers I know will be offered from this young woman who until last night at 7:20 pm was a total stranger.
Thank you, Lord for a stranger named Jessica. now a friend whom I may never meet again.
But I'll remember her as one of the greatest blessings of the summer.

2010-05-28T11:19:00.004-05:00

1000......

.......American troops have been killed in Afghanistan as the latest fatality happened today with the death of a US Marine. May God be with his family and friends, and comrades in arms, who continued their foot patrol after the attack. Also, may healing of body, heart, and mind come to those injured with this fallen Marine.

This Memorial Day weekend, may we remember not just this Marine, but all who have made the ultimate sacrifice in wars to defend America's freedom.

This freedom is not free. Most of us realize this.

Each day, I pray not only for those who make these sacrifices - including their families - of serving, but for those who think that those who serve knew the dangers going in and that the sacrifices are to be expected. May their eyes be opened and their hearts swayed to what is true.

And so I will say - yes, our men and women in uniform DID know the sacrifices...but they chose to volunteer anyway.

God bless them all, and those who wait.

2010-05-27T08:58:00.004-05:00

Reveille, Retreat, and Taps.

Part of our job as Camp Hosts at the park is to make the rounds of the campgrounds to make sure that everything is ok. We have one of those golf cart type vehicles which Ron has to not only help with maintenance duties, but also to do these park checks. It's a huge savings that we don't have to use our truck for this. It's great for getting around - and this little vehicle zips in and out of places like nobody's business.

We came back from one of our trips around the park the other day and heard a wonderful sound. Retreat was being sounded at Fort Carson. It was the end of the "official" day, and we are blessed to hear this from our campsite here at the park.

In the morning, there is Reveille, which signals to the soldiers that it's time to line up for morning roll call. And while I would think most soldiers nowadays use alarm clocks, there's a definite "order" in this bugle call which reminds them before they even open their eyes that another day in the US Army is ahead of them. :)

And ~ of course ~ in the evening, there is Taps. Taps signals that all unauthorized lights are to be extinguished and it is the last call of the day. And of course, we know too well, that it is played at the end of a military funeral. It has, most assuredly, been played far too often in this last circumstance in America's history.

I decided to look up the various bugle calls, and what they mean....and was suprised to see there are so many of them.

Being able to hear all of these bugle calls in the morning, afternoon, or evening is somehow

a pleasant reminder of how well the Army takes care of it's own. They are structured for sure, but their soldiers are very important. But no matter whether it's "wake up", or "ok, you can go home now," or "it's time to rest," I think the most encouraging - though haunting - is the sound of Taps.

The last line of the first verse tell us all we need to know - about every moment of every day.

"All is well, safely rest, God is nigh."

Not only is the best military in the world taking care of America, but God is looking over us all. Especially those who serve.

This brings me peace.

2010-05-16T07:22:00.003-05:00

Wounded Warriors

The past week was Armed Forces Week. In a city which is home to not just one military installation but five of them, I can tell you that they really know how to pay tribute to the Armed Forces. Even when I was shopping in SEARS yesterday, there was a benefit going on for the military as they raised money for the troops through customer donations. Every couple of minutes there would be an announcement from one or more of the cashiers saying there was a donation of x amount of dollars from his or her department. It gave me a good feeling as I walked through and listened to the thanks for the generosity of others toward those who serve.

But it was also the week for the Wounded Warrior Games. Men and women from all branches of he military - including the Coast Guard - were here for four days of friendly competition. Friendly, but fierce. And each athlete had a story - whether they sat on the gymnasium floor playing volleyball using the specially designed net, or doing laps in a swimming pool with artificial limbs powering them across the water, or scoring points on a basketball court. But the story wasn't in the handicap or injury, it was in each athlete's strength to overcome it all.
When I think of the fact that Ron and I have a daughter/soldier who will see the other side of an ocean with in a year, and a son in law/soldier who will soon travel to the sand for the 4th time, I can only look at these young men and women with respect for their courage and sacrifice. The fear that my children may be asked to sacrifice their well being, or more, is one of the things about this Two Star mom thing that never goes away, (another being pride).
And when I see these Wounded Warriors, I see that they do not want to be pitied, nor thought of as heroes. What they ask of their country is the chance to be equals - the hope that their superiors will consider them worthy to remain in the world's greatest military if they so choose.
They are scarred, yes. But who they are isn't in the scars - it's in their courage. It's in the desire in their hearts to be considered worthy to remain in their jobs in whatever branch they have been serving, and to keep whatever rank they hold. To be given the chance to prove who they really are didn't leave when they were injured, or when the PTSD came home with them.
Wounded Warriors? Perhaps on the outside - but the strength on the inside lets us see who they really are:
The very best.
God bless our troops wherever they may serve. And those who love them - that we might have just a small portion of their strength.

2010-04-27T01:58:00.002-05:00

"Can I Sleep Over Tonight, Grandma?"

It's one of those nights that I can't sleep. We slept in this morning, only til 8:30, but that seems to have been my undoing for a good night's sleep tonight.
We had a great weekend with the kids. We went to Kasey's soccer game on Saturday morning and then did a bit of grocery shopping and then Stephen, Laurie, and Kasey were going to come over for dinner. About 45 minutes before we were expecting them, my cell phone rang. Laurie's cell number came up on my caller id and when I answered, there was a little voice on the other end and he said, 'Hi Grandma! Is it ok if I sleep over at your house tonight?' 'Ohhhh Kasey,' I said, ' you tell your mommy to pack some nice warm jammies and some toys and movies and ABSOLUTELY you can sleep over.' Laurie needed to do some studying for an exam, and so we were more than grateful to have Kasey here. He sleeps in the middle of our bed since it's too cold down in the living area during the night. And so, we had Ron and I, Kasey, and Lily. Too cold even for Lily to sleep down here. Dinner was a big success, and although Apple Crisp was on the menu, the cook :) just didn't have the time to peel the apples and put it in the oven since I had to do stuffed peppers too. I was telling my friend Betsy the other day that I've had to get used to only having one oven - and a microwave/convection oven at that. There are times when I miss my two ovens in the kitchen back in Hamburg (and to be honest, I sometimes miss the five burners I had on my cooktop there too), but I'm still able to put a decent meal on the table for the kids - and I generally cook every night for Ron and I. This is good - saves money and I think it's better for the waistline. I digress.
Anyway, Grandma made pancakes and hot chocolate for Kasey on Sunday morning - Ron preferred his usual eggs and ham on a bagel. (Tonight while we were watching 24, Ron mentioned that he had a craving for pancakes, and I told him there was leftover batter in the fridge. He laughed because I am not usually THAT ready for his cravings).
I have to admit that I love catering to Kasey right now because when we have guardianship of him, I will be expected to be in guardian mode, instead of grandma mode. I can understand Laurie and Stephen feeling like this but, well, SIGH.
Ron spent at least 2 hours with Kasey (and Lily too, who took off after a cat because Ron was helping Kasey who had fallen and his nose was bleeding) at the playground, then they came back and Kasey helped (and I use that term loosely) Ron set up the sattelite dish. I called out the screen door and asked the guys what they would like for lunch. Ron asked for turkey and cheese on dark rye bread, and Kasey asked for buttered noodles. Of COURSE Kasey could have buttered noodles - oh and he wanted two dill pickles because his Grandpa had two dill pickles with his sandwich.
Laurie came by and picked him up around three just as my boys - big and little - were coming back from their second trip to the playground. They just so happened to take with them a stash of Oreo cookies. Ron gave Kasey one when they left, and then put two more in his shirt pocket. When they got to the playground, after he had played for a few minutes, Kasey asked Ron if he had any more cookies. Ron said he had two left. 'Grandpa, could I have just ONE?' And of course side by side on the bench, they sat together while Kasey ate both cookies.
Do I sound happy? I sure hope so. It's so good to be here with the kids and as Ron said tonight, that we just need Scott and Vi and Veronica here and we would have everything we need. Stranger things have happened. You just never know.
In a few days, our Laurie will be 30 years old. We will take them out for dinner of course and I will make her a cake. I have a few things to get her yet, so that means a trip to the mall - YAY!
The one thing I have noticed is that - despite their separation of a year and a half (except for
R &R, and brief visits after Stephen returned from the sand), I love watching Laurie and Stephen (and Kasey) together. It seems like they haven't skipped a beat - just picked up where they left off. They love each other and are not afraid to show this. Just the little things like sitting side by side on the couch with Stephen's arm around Laurie.
I smile just thinking about them - and thank our Father for His grace in their lives. Stephen's next deployment is coming up sooner than we realize. And then there will be Laurie's to occur sometime during Stephen's trip to the sand.
We don't think about that right now. We are just thankful for the times we have in the present - and the moments when I hear that little voice on the other end of the phone line asking, 'Grandma, can I sleep over at your house?'
I'm going to make my grocery list in the morning, and two items on that list will be a variety pack of cereal so my Kasey can pick out his breakfast next time he sleeps over....and some marshmallows for his hot cocoa.
Ahhhh, isn't life sweet?

2010-04-19T22:28:00.001-05:00

Honey, We're HOOOME!

At 4:30 in the afternoon on Saturday, I dialed Laurie's cell and when she answered I said, "Hi Honey - we're hoooome!!" We are back home in Colorado in a very nice campground with a view of the Rockies right out our back window - we moved here this morning after spending Saturday and Sunday night in a very overpriced, & poorly cared for campground. We'll be at this one for a few weeks, and then go to our summer campground where we will be Camp Hosts at a Colorado State Park. The best thing is, we're going to be here - in the state of CO - for a long, long time. And Scott, Vi, and Veronica are coming out for a 10 day visit in July. Am I beaming from ear to ear? YOU BET!
After we got set up on Saturday, we stopped at Pizza Hut and picked up some pizza, wings, and breadsticks and headed over to Laurie's. Stephen was at his Saturday night poker game, but we had a great time with Laurie and Kasey....in fact, Kasey spent the night with us on Saturday. Then yesterday, we drove around to find this campground and made the arrangements to move here this morning. Kasey was with us, so of course lunch at McDonald's was in order. Then we went to Laurie's and she invited us for dinner - chops on the grill, with wild rice and thick grain bread to go with it. Strawberry shortcake for dessert. Then we headed home to do get ready for this morning's move. Stephen had to work yesterday - we could hear the guns firing as we drove to our campground on the way home last night. One of these days we will see Stephen. Seven and a half years ago, when we first set eyes on Pikes Peak, we fell in love - with the state of CO. We always hoped we could live here someday - and here we are. Of course Western NY and our family and friends there are always very, very close to our hearts and our visits back there will happen too. After all, home is where the heart is, and our hearts just happen to be in two places.
That's ok, right?
God bless our troops and those who love them.

2010-04-04T09:53:00.002-05:00

HE IS RISEN!!!

He is risen indeed.

2010-03-26T11:55:00.002-05:00

It Takes a Village

On my Living the Dream blog this morning I posted about villages. RV parks are like villages, and the smaller they are, the more we get to know people - especially during long term stays.
It reminded me of the saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
How true.
In the 12 years that I have been a military mom, the "village" made up of people we know because of this roller coaster life has grown to be like a huge city - no boundaries or distance. Just bridges to connect us across the miles.
On Wednesday, we were in SEARS to get a few things I needed and we met a WWII veteran. We stopped and chatted after Ron made a comment to him about his WWII veteran's cap which sported all sorts of pins from the units he served in. Ron had his Fort Carson shirt on which was a great thing to have on at that moment because the man just happened to have been stationed there before Fort Benning...from which he "took a little boat ride." He mentioned that he was only in combat for 10 months before the end of the war - after which he completed his military commitment in Germany during the post war occupation. He is 84 - had just finished walking two laps of the huge mall we were in, and was very proud of his service. NOT a boastful pride, but rather the pride of being able to serve our country and protect her during a time of war. His eyes glistened at times, his voice thickened as he spoke of how important the men and women of today's military are. I found myself tearing up as well.
This man is part of a disappearing generation of men and women - more and more of them passing each day, but whose service will never be forgotten or cease being appreciated.
When he asked about Laurie and Stephen, his interest in them was genuine. We parted ways, but not before he told us to take care of them....and said that he would keep them in his prayers.
Yes, it takes a village to raise a child. And we never know when we will meet (or become) another villager. Here on the internet, or in the aisle of the Misses department at SEARS.

I'm so thankful that I am living in the same village as all of you...remember that they are filled with two way streets. This villager isn't here just to reap all the benefits, but to be a good neighbor as well. Prayers are the most privileged blessing we have to offer - and you have mine as well as I know our family has yours.
Blessings to you all from a thankful mom.

2010-03-05T11:00:00.005-05:00

Steel Wool

We are visiting Laurie, Stephen, and Kasey this weekend - to help Kasey celebrate his 5th birthday. It was a long, but leisurely, drive from Arizona - mountains and scenery that absolutely stunned us with beauty. Snow topped peaks, red rocks, and vast plains being grazed by cattle, deer, and horses. How great it was to enjoy all of this, knowing that at the end of the trip, we would see the kids. It's been nearly two months and I must admit that while being in the warmth of the Arizona sun for that length of time, I was getting a bit antsy to see them. We left the RV safely in AZ at the RV park and saved ourselves lots of time. Not pulling the RV sure did cut down on the stops at the gas stations along the way also. THIS is good.

We got here about 1/2 hour before Stephen and Kasey got home which gave Lily and Mya time to readjust to each other - they have a wonderful chocolate lab mix and she is so gentle, but Lily always needs to readjust to her since Mya is bigger than Lily. And then, each morning, the game begins again as though Lily is asking Mya who she is. The one thing we always make sure Lily knows is that this is MYA's house and she rules the roost. Lily gets that eventually. :)

And so today, while Laurie and Stephen are at work, we have the run of the house with Kasey. I will make a quick run to the store for lasagna supplies, as well as the stuff I need to make an apple crisp for dessert.

The one thing we always can count on is that Stephen and Kasey will get their hair cuts before we see them. This time was no exception-just a haircut for Kasey, though, since Stephen had his cut last week.

These fresh cuts always remind me of soft steel wool. Cut within an inch of it's life, Kasey's perfectly shaped little head always is so soft and fuzzy. And he always says, "see Grandma? I got a fresh haircut again." The picture above was taken a few months ago - notice the resemblance between Stephen and Kasey? It goes waaaay beyond the haircuts.

I often wonder whether the novelty of looking just like daddy will wear off - you know, like in those teenage years.

Steel wool - it's not just found in the cupboard under the kitchen sink. It's in the character and the fiber of our troops - and their children.

God bless them all - and those who love them.

2010-02-23T07:27:00.003-05:00

Not just a Two Star Mom.....

I think I may have mentioned that Ron is a Navy Veteran of the Vietnam war era. He served 6 years active and his reserve duty as well. There are some things he talks about - where he's been, (for instance, he was stationed in Pearl Harbor for awhile and since he's been there sees no reason why WE should go to HI as a couple - "been there, done that Susan; I saw it for both of us).

Sigh. :)

But the one thing he doesn't mention often is his Vietnam tour of duty on a destroyer in 1967. They served off shore, took troops in at night, picked them up in the morning. Unfortunately, there were often fewer soldiers in the morning than left the ship the night before. Also supplied assistance to other ships in the area. On a beautiful day in August, 1967, they went to the assistance of another ship which was taking rounds. Only ten minutes earlier, Ron had been down in the fire room talking to a young man who was writing home. In only a few short minutes, Ron's life and the life of everyone on board would change forever as the ship took fire from shore and a man was killed. The man was the young sailor Ron had just spoken to moments earlier. Ron had never told me that part of the story.

The other day, Ron came across some information about the sailor's family and he was able to contact the young man's sister by phone. She is the only surviving member of the family now, but he wanted to tell her that he had been with her brother only moments before his death, and what a great guy he was - such a likeable young man.

Ron spent a few minutes on the phone with her, and then said his goodbyes. When he hung up, he was visibly shaken. I had never known that Ron was so close to being injured or killed during that attack, but as he deals with that reality so many years later...he wonders still, why he was spared? I quietly told him,

"It's simply called, "but for the Grace of God."
I am not just a proud two star mom - I am a Veteran's wife - thankful every single day for the Grace of God.

May the blessing of His Grace and love continue to be with all who serve...no matter where that may be.

2010-02-01T10:57:00.003-05:00

Planning Ahead, but living for today.

We've been here in AZ for a couple of weeks now, enjoying sunshine and moderate but not hot temps and doing all my doctor appts for the radiation therapy I will be having on a benign tumor in my right auditory canal. The hearing loss and other symptoms I've been experiencing will not be going away, even after the treatments, but the nerve involving the facial nerves will be spared from being affected by this tumor by having it removed this way. There is a ten percent chance that it will be affected by the radiation itself, but that is a much lower percentage compared to the certainty of a permanent Bells Palsy type of condition if I don't have the procedure done. I am very pleased with the doctors who will be doing this, and we are just waiting now for all the appointments I need for MRIs and the treatments. They should be within the next couple of weeks, which is a huge relief.
Our soldiers, and Kasey, are busy back at home. But they are enjoying being back together in their new home. We have been blessed this past year and are not forgetting that we should take the example they set and live in the present...thinking and remembering the future, but grateful for the time at hand. We will be living with Laurie and Kasey once Stephen is deployed because halfway through his next deployment, the Army has plans for Laurie as well. And we will have guardianship of Kasey once again. We will put the RV into storage and remain at their home which will make it lots better for Kasey.
In the meantime, we continue to enjoy life in our RV - lots of senior citizens here in AZ who have been living as full time RVers for a lot longer than we have. We are meeting people here in our RV park who have come from all over the states to keep warm and we are finding that we have lots in common with many of them. Some have children who are serving or have served; or are veterans of VietNam as Ron is. They have stories as we do, and are thankful - as we are for the everyday things like good health, and the ability to do this traveling thing.
We are watching the remake of All Quiet on The Western Front. Whether on the battlefield in Germany in WW1, or in the sands of Iraq, or the mountains of Afghanistan in present day, war doesn't seem to change - but the faces do.
We are free, and the principle never changes - we want others to be free as well. I pray this never changes.
It's all part of God's plan and I don't question His will. And I know that His bigger plan is peace.
I pray that it will come soon.
God bless our troops and those of us who love them.

2010-01-09T23:11:00.002-05:00

Words that are good to hear.

Like most of the country, we've had a spell of bitterly cold weather here, but we've been nice and warm on the inside of the RV with the two extra heaters we bought on our trip home to Buffalo in October. Yesterday morning though, we woke up toasty but with no water due to frozen pipes....and our fridge decided to die as well. All day long, Ron worked on the pipes and the we finally got our water back around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, which was also when Ron and I decided that after dinner, the food from the fridge and freezer would go in the cooler. Sigh.
Fast forward to this afternoon when the repairman came to fix the fridge. Laurie, Stephen, and Kasey arrived just before he got here so the kids came inside, and Ron stayed outside with the service man. The kids and I had a good conversation inside, and then they said goodbye to Kasey because he is spending the night here tonight. When Laurie and Stephen went outside,
I followed and got to the open door just in time to hear the repair man thanking Stephen for his service....and then Ron told him that Laurie serves as well and he said thank you to her too. It meant so much to hear someone thanking my children - it's something we military moms do all the time -walk up to service men and women and thank them.
But to hear it from perfect strangers to my own children, well, it meant something.
The fridge is going to be ok after a major repair early next week - being in warranty means that the manufacturer absorbs the nearly $800 in parts and service. THAT was good to hear too.
The one thing I hope is that all of our military hear thank yous often. It just means a lot, don't you think?
God bless our troops - and some day I hope each and every one of them knows the depth of our gratitude. Not just the pride from their families, but the thanks from the country they keep free.

2009-12-31T17:35:00.003-05:00

A Year of Blessing.

As we hunker down for the next couple of weeks before we leave for AZ where I will have my surgery, how grateful I am for this time to spend with you. It's been awhile but we've been a bit busy with Laurie's graduation (with honors), and helping Laurie, Stephen and Kasey move into their new home here in Colorado. It's been so long since they've been able to live together as a family but now are able to do so. Laurie and Stephen have about 8 or 9 months before they will be separated again by deployment, at which point our RV will go into storage and we will move into their home to help Laurie with Kasey since her hours are going to be quite difficult and Stephen said our help would be greatly appreciated. Then, when she is done with this second part of her program, she will do her officer training and be deployed also. Sigh.
But the year behind us has been perhaps one of the most unusual in our lives, if not one of the most blessed. Stephen's deployment - and once more, his safe return. Laurie's school, and her successful conclusion of a murderous schedule. Selling our home without even needing a realtor.
My retirement - and the blessing of knowing that I was happy in my job every single day of the years I worked there and loved every one of my co workers. The RV - and our travels. Seeing some of this beautiful country and taking in it's splendor without having words to describe it. And after leaving Scott in Hamburg, watching him make some of the best decisions of his life.
But the greatest blessing perhaps, have been our days with Kasey. Having him for 10 months, being his guardians, was a time when God reached down and blessed us more than you can possibly imagine.
This year now passing into a new decade was one which had it's struggles as well. But as we look to the year ahead, Ron and I can't imagine having a year more blessed than 2009. It keeps us faithful in prayer and sure in the knowledge that a loving God is watching over us all and keeping us in His care.
I hope, and pray, that as you look at the year ahead, you have much to be grateful for in the year just past. Know also that each of you are a blessing to me.
May you be blessed my friends with happiness and good health.
And may God bless our troops and those who love them.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2009-12-07T13:04:00.002-05:00

Never Forget.

No matter how many years pass...may we keep in our hearts:

December 7th, 1941.

2009-12-03T09:03:00.003-05:00

A BIG week.

We have arrived at our destination city - and we'll be hugging Laurie tonight.
In just a week, Laurie will graduate and Stephen and Kasey, and Ron and I will be there with bells on. And of course, I will be wearing my Two Star pin as well as my American Flag pin. Are we excited? More excited than you could ever guess. We'll take the kids out for lunch afterward and then come back to the RV and let them have some time alone to celebrate this awesome time in their lives...seeing a year behind them which seemed so long when the journey began.
Funny thing, the man who pulled in next to us in the RV park yesterday is an Army vet who served time in Vietnam as a medic. He received his training at the same school Laurie is going to right now. Small world, isn't it? I thank God for all the stories out there waiting for us to hear about our country's military and our veterans.
When we were watching Fox news this morning, there were a group of former Miss Americas and a Miss Utah (herself a SGT in the Army) who went to Afghanistan to visit the troops for Thanksgiving. They briefly interviewed a young woman who said that she was going home soon and said into the microphone, "I love you Buddy, mommy will be home soon." I cried...couldn't help it because it was a reminder, hopefully for those who do not have anyone serving, that it's not just about war, but about sacrifice. Prayerfully, those who don't agree with the war understand the seriousness with which our military takes their commitment - that they don't just take orders, but look for them to do what they are there to do - complete their mission.
I've always realized that it's not just my children who face separations, it's countless thousands of men and women who are away from their families. No matter where they serve, however long it takes, they get the job done.
Awesome, aren't they?
God bless them all and those who wait.

2009-11-24T08:46:00.004-05:00

COMMITMENT.... and ADOPTION.

Laurie is very nearly finished with the first phase of her program - the most difficult part which is the exam and bookwork part of it. In keeping with my privacy policy of not giving out too much specific information about my soldiers, I can only say that the program is unique, nearly impossible, (both to get into and to stay in) and very demanding. Most soldiers need to be there without their families to make it through....which is maybe the most difficult part of it all. This is why we had guardianship of Kasey during the year that Stephen was deployed. Most students who have their family with them do not fare as well in their exam grades - many do not make it.
For the entire time she has been in school, Laurie has found that getting up in the wee hours of the morning to study has been easier than cramming til midnight and then getting up to go to school. She has found that she is just too tired at night to do more than two hours of studying and have it stay with her. But the year's nearly over and she will be returning home to live with Stephen and Kasey very soon where she will complete the second part of the program. We are so proud of their commitment to each other and to their goals - not an easy thing to be loyal to the demands of the Army and to their marriage with all the demands of their career. But there will be a time of adjustment for them all no doubt. It's been a time of constant prayer for this mom and grandma..
Along the way, in our conversations with Laurie, she has mentioned many of her friends. Some because she has taken an afternoon to go to a movie with one of them, others because they are having issues with classes or exams. It's' nice to think that she has good friends with whom she can commiserate and study with. Sunday night she told me she was going to study for a little while with a girl who needed to get a 92 on Monday's exam to pass the course. So I added a few prayers for her friend Emily - not to mention an extra prayer for Laurie that she would concentrate on the exam and not on how Emily was doing.
Last night I got an email - Laurie got 98 and Emily got the grade she needed as well. One more exam tomorrow and they will be done.
After I read the email from Laurie I found that I was giving thanks for two young women - my own soldier and another young woman I have never met. Not that my little prayers made the difference, but it was the fact that, along the way, in Laurie's military career, God has brought us in touch with so many soldiers and their families who we come to know - some only through Laurie mentioning them.
So is it all about adoption of these families? Maybe not.
I think it's just a deep respect we have for the commitment these young men and women have, and the sacrifices they make which endear them to us.
Whatever it is, and whether we ever meet or not, Ron and I are thankful for their presence in our children's lives, and feel privileged to "know" them all...if only through conversations with the Father of us all.
God bless our troops - and those who love them.

2009-11-06T07:58:00.003-05:00

Prayers for all at Fort Hood.

Many, many prayers go out for the victims of yesterday's shooting at Fort Hood. May their families be comforted by our Father's care and love. And may they know that they are not alone as they worry about those loved ones who were injured, or as they grieve for those lost.
We are all grieving.
And praying.

2009-10-20T17:49:00.002-05:00

Seems Like Yesterday.

Tonight we are in a peaceful campground in Kentucky....less than 100 miles from a place we visited often - Fort Knox. Laurie was stationed there for 3 years and we made the trip between Hamburg and Fort Knox more times than we could count. Yesterday and today, as we drove through Ohio, many memories of those drives came flooding back - they always do, don't they?
As we passed countless exits, there were many memories down those ramps. The town where Laurie always stopped for the night when she was driving home; the exit we took one cold December 23rd as we drove Laurie home for Christmas....in a snow storm that could not be believed. I remember to this day, the coziness of the motel room, the safety and peace Ron and Laurie and I felt being off the highway and warm and dry; of being able to tuck Laurie in and crawl into bed next to Ron...exhausted, but happy to be where we were - all together.
And there was the time when I drove by myself to visit her after she had been in an accident. A mom thing, you know? But we had a good time - and when I left to drive back home, I was so grateful for those days we'd had as mom and daughter.
This afternoon, as we crossed one of my favorite bridges which led from Cincinatti into Kentucky, I saw the sign I'd read tons of times...WELCOME TO KENTUCKY! It was always the second best part of the trip...the best of course when we pulled up to her barracks and saw her running down the stairs to greet us, or the smile on her face when she opened the door to her room and saw us.
Tomorrow, as we complete our trip to my sister's in TN, we'll go through some of the towns where Laurie would lead us to her favorite places for dinner - O'Charleys being one of them. Of course we will be in a hurry to get to our destination so no stopping at O'Charleys for lunch, but that won't stop the memories from coming back. Mmmmm...those fresh rolls, still warm from the oven and basted with honey butter.
Life is good - and memories sure help to make it so. Tomorrow when we go through Louisville, I will remember the night in 2002 when we took Laurie to pick up her new boyfriend from the airport. We were all there for the wedding of a friend of Laurie's and it would be the first time we would meet this new young man Laurie seemed quite smitten with. His name was Stephen. Laurie glowed all over as we walked through the airport with him, and I knew this was the man she would marry - and told her very quietly at the baggage claim that I thought I had just met my future son in law. We both cried a bit....and only 3 months later, he proposed to her.
See - does a mom know, or what? Sometimes, YES, we do. Isn't that cool?
The memories and the blessings keep flooding back - as though it was yesterday.
Thank you, Lord. For those days and all the days since.
God bless our troops, and those who wait.

2009-10-12T19:25:00.003-05:00

Reconnecting.

We've been here in Western NY for a week now - visiting with family and friends...squeezing in as many visits as we can before we leave next week. How good it is to see the autumn colors here in WNY. Sure, we saw them along the way too, but they somehow can't compare to autumn colors on the trees that line the streets of your hometown. Last week Monday, after we got settled at the campground, we headed over to Scott's place. He had just walked Veronica home from school and she was having some pudding in the kitchen. Quietly, Ron walked to the kitchen doorway and stood there as she was intent on eating her pudding. Scott said, "Binker, look who's here," and she looked up. When she saw Ron, she whispered, "Papa!" and by the time she was halfway across the room she was crying and laughing at the same time. She leapt into Ron's arms to hug him and then she saw me and tried to hug us both at the same time. Hard for her chubby little 5 year old arms, but she did a very good job of it. It was a moment to cherish and there wasn't a dry eye to be found. Scott looks awesome - he got his hair cut recently for Locks for Love - it had been really loooong - trust me on that...but he looks great and is happy he had it done. A smile on his face often now, he is making good choices and some really nice changes which will make life easier - and more affordable - for him. He doesn't have a whole lot of extra cash, but is getting better at managing his budget. This will make leaving next week a little bit easier on this mom's heart and mind.

We've been making some great improvements to the RV as well...putting in a small electric fireplace and a catalytic heater, both of which will help us keep the RV warm at a lower cost. The furnaces which come with RVs generally operate on propane and are vented outside. This means that half the heat escapes through the outside vent and is using a lot of propane. So we have two other means of heating the trailer now which will cost less and will more than pay for the investment within the first year. Since we will be in Arizona during the winter, we'll need to use the heat then too. So Ron has done an awesome job improving our coziness factor. The nights and early mornings can get downright cold at this time of year. We'll continue to use the furnace for heating the bathroom in the morning or at night when we shower - it makes the bathroom like a sauna. This I can handle. :)

I'm a sweatshirt or flannel shirt girl, actually. I like to be cozy. As soon as the temps go below 55, that's cold enough for a sweatshirt or one of Ron's flannel shirts. How funny it is that he has three bags of flannel shirts waiting to go in the closet - and I already know my favorites - the ones I love to put on over a turtleneck. Those will hang all the way over to the left of Ron's shirts; right next to where my winter clothes start. I figure someone should wear them 'cause he can't possibly use them all.

Old friends, new friends - people who have blessed my life for various periods of time...seeing so many of them all this last week has been such a blessing.
And I continue to be amazed at the people who enter my life via the wonder of internet. Today I got an email from an old friend - (not old in the literal sense) -he used to date my sister in high school. It was great to hear from you again, Bruce...keep in touch, ok? Funny how people re-connect isn't it? You log into classmates.com and find so many people who played an important part of your life when you were young. Kids you saw every day - with whom you used to walk the halls of high school between classes when you were supposed to be hurrying to the next class; carrying on conversations which caused you to slide into your seat just as the bell rang. Good times, not always easy, but a time when it was easier to be a teenager than it is now. The world was still outside the high school doors, and we went back out into it at the close of each day, but somehow it didn't offer the temptations that teens deal with today...maybe they were there, but we didn't know about them. Or knew, but weren't tempted by them. Or were tempted, but didn't give in. Kind of complicated, huh?

One last thing that I thought would be the most difficult part of our trip back home...seeing the house that was our home for 29 years. The lady has made some pretty significant changes - at least on the outside, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Somehow, I think this is because the years we had there with the kids - including our grandkids - were so happy. It doesn't bother me to see the changes because the memories of our time there are still so fresh. I wish the new owner many years of blessing in the house which is now her home.

God has been gracious to us - and to our family. So much ahead...and so many blessings we have to be grateful for - including all of you.

May He bless our troops - and those who wait.

2009-10-01T19:38:00.003-05:00

Wonderful Friends, and A Great Place on a Great Lake.

I can't believe it's been so long since I posted here. We've been on the road since September 16th - have seen some of the most beautiful areas of our country. It's been a great trip so far - and thankfully, we will be in Buffalo by Monday.

The last couple of days we have been in Milwaukee visiting good friends. Nancy, her husband Jim, their great kids and grandkids, and our friend Wendy as well. Nancy and Wendy and I have been friends for a long time - all of us being Military Moms...Nancy is a veteran's mom now but the connection remains. We are three moms who met in our military moms chat room, and will always be friends. We see each other infrequently, but our friendship is steadfast. And every time we do get together, as my friend Wendy said today, it's like we pick up where we left off. And that's a very good thing.

And so, Nancy gave us a tour of Milwaukee today - and a great tour it was. We saw the beautiful old buildings downtown, the waterfront which could teach many major cities a lot about how to build up one of their greatest assets - Lake Michigan.

Tonight, we prepare to leave this city - packing up again and putting breakables in their travel mode - wrapped in dish towels and ready to sit in the kitchen sink for a few hours while they bump along on the highway. We'll head out soon after rush hour traffic has thinned out a bit, and travel another day as we head closer to home....well, what we always will consider our home..until we are done traveling and are in an apartment somewhere.

My friend Nancy always tells us Milwaukee is a great place on a great lake. I agree - but it's people like her and Jim, and my other friend Wendy who make it so.

Military moms have a kinship - we have been brought together by our children's service, and blessed by God to be friends forever. I have so many friends - GOOD friends - with whom I share this bond. Some are moms of soldiers, others spouses, even widows of soldiers who sacrificed all they had to give.

I cherish you all.

Blessings my friends.

2009-09-11T10:39:00.003-05:00

On This Day.....

We all have a story, don't we?

On this day 8 years ago, I sat at my desk in the University at Buffalo Financial Aid Office, processing financial aid documents for students who had filed them late. We were already into the fall semester, and the busy-ness of the summer semester (always our busiest time) was behind us. I looked outside at a glorious day - blue skies, warm temperatures and a soft breeze came through the open window next to me. All of a sudden, my friend came back from the front of the office and announced that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and I immediately called Ron who was at home watching CNN and FOX News as he still does in the morning. We put the TV on in the conference room and all of us took turns watching it. I knew that Laurie was not at her duty station at Fort Knox, but rather at another post across the country for some training. Someone had a radio which was always on during the day - not loud enough most days for anyone else to hear, but suddenly, on that same (normally quiet) radio, we all could hear the terrible news as it unfolded. It was unthinkable to know what was happening and when the Pentagon was hit, it became very personal to me since Laurie had met many soldiers from the Pentagon at an NCO training course only weeks earlier. My mind immediately envisioned the graduation program and the names of the soldiers and their home bases. I can still see 'Pentagon' listed so many times.

My fear then was, 'what was Laurie hearing so far from home?' And was Scott listening at his new apartment, or watching this on TV? My prayer was that my children were not afraid - not as afraid as their mom was at that moment.

We heard that students were crowded around the TVs in the Student Union - so many of our student population were from NYC and their thoughts must have been so far away from classwork. At 1 pm, Governor Pataki announced the closing of UB for the day and we all went home to watch the morning's terrible events on TV.

Laurie called bot Ron and I when she was able to, knowing that we would be worried about what was going on where she was. She couldn't talk long but we at least heard her voice....and Scott's shortly after hers.

Laurie said that they had been given updates all morning long and that although they were supposed to leave the next morning, with the airlines not operating it would be several days before she could go "home." Scott was frightened beyond words and eventually he realized that his greatest fear was because he knew his sister no longer served in a time of peace.
I think my most lasting vision of that day was the dust and destruction surrounding those buildings...and the empty fire and rescue trucks buried in that rubble...of wondering where the occupants of those trucks had gone; of the surviving firemen sitting on the curbs in total shock.

It's all personal - yet shared by us all - what the events of that day mean to us.

May God be with the families of those lost that day...and protect those who still work to keep it from happening again - from the President, to our military, the fire and police men and women, right down to each American citizen.

May He bless us all.

2009-09-09T21:17:00.007-05:00

Looking Back - and Ahead.

It's been a little over 3 years since I sat down at my computer and began this blog. It's been a journey of ups and downs, but all of the twists and turns, and each one of the steps along the path have been blessed by God. Stephen has returned from the sand, Laurie is in the top third of her class, and we have had a wonderful 10 month adventure with a little boy named Kasey.

Being a Two Star Mom is very important to me. But we have Scott back home in Buffalo, and his little 5 year old daughter - our granddaughter Veronica. We affectionately call her Binker - although I have no idea how our family came up with that nickname. And then there is Luke - our 12 year old grandson - our former daughter in law's son by her first husband and whose picture will be added to the ones above when we have a new one of him. Seven years ago when Scott and Tina married he became our grandson (actually we loved him from the moment we met him)- and he always will be. Divorce changes things, but not our love for the children involved in our lives. Things haven't been easy for Scott recently, but are looking up now and it's really going to be nice to spend some time with him as he makes his own plans and to let him know that we believe in him just as we believe in what Laurie and Stephen do.

In my very first post in July of 2006, I said, 'It’s not just about the soldiers, but about the soldier’s sibling - your son, and the things going on in his life.'
True to that statement, next week we will leave this beautiful state and travel back to Buffalo to see Scott, and Veronica, and Luke. We have been blessed by God's grace and He has given us good health and modest means - enough to travel where we like across this great country and still be able to travel back "home" (far apart but two states are home to us now) to see our children and grandchildren as often as we like. When parents have two children (actually, three counting Stephen), they want to be involved in all of their lives. And yet, we know when to bow out for awhile. Stephen and Kasey are fine here - a happy little boy who adores his daddy...and a daddy who is content in all of that, and proud of his wife who is working so hard to achieve a goal not easily reached. I am not looking forward to leaving our boys for 3 months, but we are getting excited at the thought of seeing Scott and the kids. Once a mom and grandma, always a mom and grandma. It will be good to see our friends, to sit in my favorite pew at church with my good friend Betty, to worship with my Christian family, and listen to our Pastor's awesome sermons. Not to mention that to travel with Ron is always a unique experience in itself - we do love our road trips. I am so thankful for his sense of humor. We are both working on patience. :)

Lily has finally become a contented doggie. She knows this is home, I think. Of course she will be wondering what gives next week when we take our "show" on the road again. Sometimes we look at her and you can almost see it in her eyes or read it in the way she cocks her ears...."why did you people leave a perfectly good house with a deck with warm sunbeams shining on it (perfect for naps), and lots of room to play?" Other times I think if she could talk she would just say, "are you kidding me???" She hears me say that all the time. :)

And tomorrow is my last session with my physical therapist - my physical therapist's husband just left for his deployment. She is kind of young, but not a stranger to deployment as this is the third time they have experienced it.

About 18 months ago, when we knew Stephen's deployment was imminent, we were visiting Laurie and Stephen and Kasey when they were on temporary duty away from here. As always, they made the best of it.

One day while we were there, Laurie had to go over on post to the PX and I wandered into one of the little boutiques outside the main PX and came across some military pins. One in particular caught my eye - it was a typical yellow ribbon pin, but with a charm of the Army star attached. I bought it and wore it nearly every single day when Stephen was deployed. It didn't matter if I was dressed up, or dressed down. The pin went on and I wore it over my heart, along with my two star pin. It now lies on the table here next to me and I figure I have a few good choices as to what to do with the pin: I could put it in my keepsake box as a momento of this time in our lives when God blessed us so by bringing Stephen home safely. Perhaps I could continue wearing it in support of our still deployed troops.

Or I could give it to my physical therapist - to let her know that she isn't alone, and that this mom of two soldiers cares about her soldier and appreciates his sacrifices and hers as well. And that is what I will do tomorrow. I can leave a bit of who I am behind me. I will probably never see this young woman again, but I will think of her often, and her husband too.

And so, as life does, we move forward - never forgetting to look back at the blessings and to be thankful for the present.

God is so good.

May He bless you.

2009-08-26T10:46:00.003-05:00

Taking Chance

Sunday afternoon, we walked into a video store to rent some movies. As Ron filled out the paperwork for a membership card, I began perusing the movies. It's been quite some time since we've rented movies and I was happy to see there were many new titles to chose from. When I came upon 'Taking Chance,'
I took it off the shelf and read the back of the box. It wouldn't be an easy movie to watch but I handed it to Ron as he joined me.
If you aren't familiar with the title, it's about a Marine officer who volunteers to accompany the body of a young marine who was killed in Iraq as he is returned home for his burial. The movie is riveting, and very emotional. Ron and I sat and watched it, and more often than not, tears streamed down our faces.
It is a movie which celebrates the spirit of Americans - their respect and admiration not only for a young marine, but for the officer who accompanied him on his final journey home.
Ron said he had wanted to see it but wanted to wait until Stephen was safely home. Still without giving anything away, the movie brought back the time in our lives when Stephen returned home from another deployment....9 days prior to the death of this young man in the province previously occupied by Stephen's unit. I remember how the violence picked up in the days following Stephen's return...and the prayers, both for Stephen's safe return and for those young Marines who had taken over.
As I mentioned, it is not an easy movie to watch - but because it is a true story the difficulty becomes a blessing as the viewer witnesses the respect and reverence given to the young Marine on his way home...and to the man who goes with him.
And it also brings home the memory of my friend Wendy's son who accompanied the body of his best friend home from Iraq 15 months ago. No, being a military mom isn't always easy - but it is a amazing to see the devotion and loyalty our children have toward their comrades. The heartache becomes a blessing as we see the values instilled in these men and women despite the personal cost.
My friend Nancy says this movie should be required viewing for all military families. Its' message is carried throughout the movie...and continues to hit home long after the DVD player is turned off. She also has a personal friend who has just been assigned as Chaplain at Dover AF base where returning heroes go after they have paid the ultimate price for freedom and before their final journey home. Please pray for Chaplain Sorensen as he assumes his new post and for all the heroes he receives...and the families who wait for them to return home one last time.
May God be with all who work at Dover Air Force base - who do their jobs daily not with obligation, but as a labor of love. And may He bless all those who bring our heroes to their final resting place, and the families they bring them to.
God bless our troops, and those who wait.

2009-08-15T08:26:00.006-05:00

With Mission Accomplished, We Begin Again.

At 7:45 last night, following the very last notes of Proud to be an American, the double doors opened, and in a cloud of dust, 160 American warriors marched into the packed event room. And with tears of joy, relief, and pride, Ron and I realized that the greatest blessing a military parent can experience was ours once again. Stephen had come home safely from the sands of a place far, far, away. Laurie had arrived here the night before and we were so thankful that while trying to make it through a program so intense, only God's will could have helped the Army's plan and had allowed her to be here at that moment. We let the tears of joy, pride, and relief fall; and whatever fear had been hiding in our hearts for the past year fell away with those tears. And as we observed a moment of silence for those who had given the ultimate sacrifice, I knew that but for the Grace of God, those prayers would have been for our soldier. We sang The National Anthem and the Army Song and then they were dismissed to their families. Ron and I started snapping pictures immediately as Stephen and Laurie, who was holding on to a slightly overwhelmed Kasey - made their way through the masses to find each other. And when they did, no amount of film could capture the love in that moment.
Eventually, we made our way outside, Stephen got his bags from the bus, and we made our way to where we had parked the pick-ups. Final hugs and kisses, and they piled into their truck, we into ours - and drove away in separate directions. Even as the distance grew between us, their happiness followed our truck like a sunbeam - even in the darkness of the evening hours.
Ron told me I had done well during the ceremony - meaning I had cried, but had maintained my composure. :) With his words, the floodgates opened. And I said. "the toys are all at home but the little boy will be missing" Of course, referring to Kasey.
When we got home, I hugged Ron and said, "well, it's just us two again, but we accomplished OUR mission too."
For ten months, one of the first sounds we heard in the morning was Kasey's little voice. Happy or grumpy, it was a sound we treasured. Do you remember those days back in October? The "honeymoon" period of the first few days of his settling in, the moments of trying to consoling Kasey's homesick little heart, the difficult moments in the morning when pre school didn't seem an acceptable option to him. I remember those "difficult" mornings when, after dropping Kasey at school, I prayed for strength and guidance on my way to work...knowing that Ron and I had a blessed (but awesome task) in front of us. And all the while askng God to remind me that this was a 3 year old boy - far from his mommy; and that his daddy was even further away - "getting the bad guys, grandma."
But the days rolled into weeks, and then months. And soon enough, it was Christmas and Kasey had both of his parents with him to celebrate the holiday. They had nearly two weeks together as a family. And, as Laurie and Stephen once again had to go their separate ways, they left with knowing our selling the house and moving into our on the road home was just ahead - and with us would be Kasey and we would all be waiting for Stephen when he arrived home.
And so, here we are. The first morning of our new life. Just how many journeys is a couple our age blessed enough to travel?
There will be other days with Kasey - times when we could be asked once again to be his guardians. Because the US Army is what it is. Unpredictable - but like no other.
And I smile now because I know that in a hotel not too far from here, a little family is getting to know each other again after so long apart. And the smile is also because we have had this wonderful gift from God - a mission He so graciously led us through.

My heart will always have a yellow ribbon tied around it for the men and women who are still deployed, or are looking at their orders to go to the mountains of Afghanistan or the sands of Iraq.
My last words to you this morning would be to say THANK YOU. For your prayers, your help, your encouragement along the way.
For your appreciation of what it has meant to Ron and me.
I ask you for one more prayer - of thanksgiving - that after this awesome and amazing year, God's grace has allowed me to remain...
A Two Star Mom.

2009-08-08T10:13:00.002-05:00

Do One Armed Hugs Count?

Well, if you read my other blog, you know that I had a mishap on Tuesday and my left arm is now in a cast from the elbow down to my top knuckles of my hand, compliments of a broken arm. One of these days I will have this tumor on my auditory canal removed so that my sense of balance returns to normal. Then, perhaps, I can walk and maintain solid footing. After all, if we are ever going to stand on that new fangled platform above the Grand Canyon good balance is important. Do you agree? :)
So, anyway, as I was lying on the gurney in the ER the other night, I said to Ron, "How am I ever going to give Stephen a normal hug when he gets home with this cast on my arm?" Ron said he thinks he will understand and he said he is sure that Stephen will do his best not to make mockery of my grace and ability to get into trouble (or a cast). At least for the first 2 minutes after we see him.
So, do you think my hug will do? I think I can squeeze the daylights out of him just as well with one arm, as opposed to two...don't you agree?
Yeah sure. But as long as he knows what my heart is saying with that hug, I think being a one armed mom for awhile is just fine.
God bless our troops - and those of us who wait.

2009-07-28T09:31:00.004-05:00

Can I Call You When Daddy Comes Home?

The other day, Ron and Kasey were talking about the fact that Stephen will be home soon. Kasey was happy, of course, but then got very pensive. Ron said, "what's wrong, Buddy?"
And Kasey said, "But Grandpa....can I call you when my daddy gets home?"
Ron told him that we would BE HERE when his daddy comes home. And Kasey said,
"No, No. I mean after daddy gets home and you and grandma go to live in the desert, can I still call and talk to you and grandma?" I guess we've grown on him a bit in the last 9 months. This makes me smile.
He's been asking a lot lately why we have to go live in the desert (Arizona). Ron doesn't really have a better answer other than, "well, Buddy, that's where Grandma and Grandpa want to be for the winter." (jury is still out on that one as far as grandma is concerned :). Grandma sure wouldn't mind a Colorado winter...very few snow storms in this area of CO. So this will be up for discussion in the weeks to come.
When I hear Kasey's little voice asking such serious questions - and telling us that he will miss us, I am so grateful for the wonderful experience we've had with Kasey. The ups and a fair amount of downs too as Kasey has grown into a more independent little boy, have kept us happy and busy and fulfilled.
"Can I call you when my daddy comes home?"
Kasey, there won't be a moment when we won't be thinking of you and hoping to hear your little voice. It's a sound I could never do without.
Thank you, Lord for the blessing of this little boy.
God bless our troops, and those who wait.

2009-07-14T22:17:00.003-05:00

As Beautiful as Ever.

This morning, Ron and I were driving about town, and always, the mountains were in view. They are so majestic - and it caused me to remember that America the Beautiful was inspired by a visit to the top of a mountain here in CO. As I thought about that, it brought to mind 9/11. and perhaps one of the most poignant moments of that day. It was when so many of our government leaders - of both parties - gathered on the Capital steps in Washington DC and sang God Bless America- united in the tragedy that our nation had endured that day. I have a lot of trouble singing those songs because of the lump that forms in my throat and the tears that cloud my eyes. But I always manage to get through them.
We are a proud nation - hopefully not a boastful pride - but a pride which makes our hearts swell with thanksgiving at being one of America's citizens. And when I see our military men and women dressed in their BDUs, going around town - banking, shopping, errands that we all do - it just causes me to be proud of all of them. Over and over again.
And when I look at them I wonder...is he or she a veteran of the Iraqi war? Are they scheduled for deployment? Do they have children who have missed them - or who will need to say goodbye in the near future?
We all do our part to keep America who she is, live good lives and help one another if a need arises. But the men and women in the Armed Forces give a lot more. Some of their sacrifices are known by those of us who love them, but even we can't grasp the magnitude of everything they have given up...including the families of those who have given the ultimate sacrifice. They give their lives every single day...may their families know it is not in vain. Nor will they ever be forgotten.
This is because the America they fight and die for is still free. And beautiful.
God bless our troops and those who love them.
Thanks for stopping by.
Sue

2009-07-09T23:16:00.002-05:00

NO MORE MAIL!!

After a week at Laurie's, and then three HOT days on the road, we are finally at our home base and are waiting for news on when Stephen will be coming home. Saturday when we were on our way to the zoo, Laurie's cell phone rang and it was Stephen. NO MORE MAIL!
THIS is a good thing as anyone who has ever had a loved one deployed can tell you. And so, now that we are where we want to be for a couple of months, we will have some fun with Kasey, do some shopping and finish unpacking the trailer. I have quite a bit of wall space so there will be plenty of room for my patriotic wall hangings. Call this mom happy and finally, after a rough few months, I think we are content. Scott will be here later this month, Laurie will also have leave in August, and they will stay here. So we are allowing ourselves one free day tomorrow, then begin the fun part of decorating and the rest of the unpacking.
Kasey is so excited to be here. Such a lot this little boy has been through in the past 10 months.

I must admit, there have been times during these last few weeks when I can honestly tell you I thought we were crazy to do this full time RVing thing. But God is good - He knows just how much we can handle and stops at that.
So now, instead of writing letters, I can start writing my lists and planning Stephen's welcome home dinner. Right here, in our RV. At home.
God bless our troops...and those who wait.
Blessings,
Sue

2009-06-25T22:18:00.002-05:00

Banner's Up!!

Hello dear friends. Today we became residents of South Dakota. The people at the DMV office were quite nice, and my picture doesn't look too bad. I kept my eyes open so this is good. But I think I look like a chipmunk.
At any rate, it feels kind of weird...but at least the plan is going quite smoothly. On our way through IL yesterday, we stopped at a store and I bought some little suction cup thingies that you put on windows for wind catchers. And of course, for Blue Star Banners. And so, this two star mom has finally put up my two star banner...it's in the back "picture" window of our RV for all the world to see. I had looked for-and found-the box I had packed it in on the first day I unpacked...but couldn't find the suction cup thingy which I know I packed with it. So I finally just bought some more and hung the banner today. I must say, I feel more at home now.
We are having a pretty good time, although there is a lot of work involved in moving into an RV from a house. Kasey is having a ball - is such a good traveler and stays awake most of the day but does take a good nap sometime in mid afternoon. I miss his little jibber jabbering for those couple of hours.
Tonight, as on all the other nights we have spent in the trailer, Kasey is sleeping with us - as is Lily. The sofa bed still has a few boxes on it and the bed is big enough for all of us. I think there is a bit of comfort for all of us in this. But tomorrow, I will be able to clear the sofa so he can sleep in his own bed tomorrow night. Our time with him is quickly passing - and I won't get into that or I won't be able to finish this post without some tears. Last night Ron was talking about when we are on our own and of course I teared up at the thought. Ron said he's pretty sure Stephen and Laurie would notice if we tried to keep him. Funny.
So, here we are...we are home tonight because we are in our RV in our new state. By Saturday we will be gone and on our way to see Laurie. This is a great thing for us all.
As our troops in the sand get closer to that date that is in the news, please pray for them...for God's hedge of protection to be all around them - and that those who wait will feel that assurance of God's protection around their loved ones.
Be blessed my friends.

2009-06-17T20:46:00.002-05:00

New Journeys...

The house is sold, the ink on the last signature of our closing papers long since dried, and we have been living in a motel for a week now. The check has cleared the bank and we pick up our brand new fifth wheel on Saturday. By Sunday afternoon, we should be on our way west.
Sounds good, right? Yes, and it's also good to see the plan in black and white. But it's also a bit of a challenge. An emotional challenge for this mom.
Coming home from dinner tonight, I realized that all the "things" which make our town comfortable will remain here....and we will be finding new comforts in every mile we travel, in every town, or forest, or RV park we call "home" for however long we stay, and in those quiet nights in campgrounds hundreds of miles from Western NY. We will travel far and wide...east to west, north to south and back again to the North (but not in the winter :) and somewhere along the way I will get used to it all. And find the comfort that I found here in Western NY for 62 years. Nothing will change - I will be Ron's wife, mom to Scott, and to Laurie, and to her Stephen as well, and Kasey and Veronica and Luke's gram. But in a different place.
And of course, I will be a two star mom. When Ron and I left our house on closing day, the last thing I did was to take down the yellow ribbons from the trees in the front yard. Ron insisted that I not save them....and that new ribbons will adorn our RV. I felt a little sad about that, but he was probably right...they had gone through a heck of a western NY winter, a windy and rainy spring, and looked pretty much done for.
Tomorrow I will go to the local Bath and Body Works and fill a basket with some things for the teachers at Kasey's school. They have been great to us all...and in fact today Kasey came "home" with 2 Father's Day gifts...one labeled 'Dad,' another 'Grandpa.' The same thing happened for Mother's Day...mom and grandma packages. So I'd like them to know that we appreciate their understanding Kasey's unique situation these last nearly 8 months. They've always allowed him to talk about his mom and dad and his grandma and grandpa, and how his daddy is getting the bad guys and mommy is learning something that she will be able to do for a long long time...even when she is out of the army.
He has grown up a lot - I know I mentioned that in my last post. And we have been the blessed witnesses to that.
And so, our new adventure is beginning. Oh, I am still Two Star Mom....guess I probably always will be if Laurie and Stephen don't change their plans.
Wherever the journey takes us, however long the Lord will allow it to be, we are hoping for fun, and knowledge, and, well, comfort.
Ron said it all in one sentance this afternoon...."We live in a great country. It's time to see it all."
And just think, you get to see it with us. :)
God bless our troops and those who wait.

2009-06-03T19:58:00.005-05:00

From Toddler to Little Boy.

So many wonderful blessings have come our way these past 7 plus months since Kasey came to live with us. And, of course, challenges as well. Lately, just in the last few weeks, he has changed. When he first arrived, Moosey - a huge stuffed moose that I...ummm, that Santa gave him in Christmas of 07...was his constant companion. Bedtime pal, extra pillow when he turned himself around in bed at night, and just plain friend. Although it was gradual, Kasey began leaving Moosey behind when he went to bed at night...would say "oh yeah" when I asked him if he wanted him in bed. But now, Moosey remains in Kasey's toybox and he takes his hotwheels cars to bed. :) A few, and within reason. Which averages out to be 7 or 8. Now that we are all sleeping in one room - Kasey on his thick quilt on the rug in our bedroom and us on the mattress on the floor - when I wake during the night as I always do, I often hear noises. I hear the sounds of Kasey...mumbling in his sleep, turning over, and the sound of his hot wheels turning over as well. It's a funny thing, but comforting as well, to hear these things in the middle of the night. It means that yes, my boy is still warm and cozy and sleeping like a log.

And he is also more independent - takes more showers instead of baths - supervised by one of us to make sure he doesn't slip in the shower, and of course with a pair of orange goggles to protect his little eyes from the baby shampoo. Funny. (We've gone through an awful lot of that in the past couple of weeks since he's been doing this himself). And we've noticed in the last couple of weeks a spontaneity in hugs and kisses. When he first arrived, if we would ask him for a kiss, he would put his head down and let us kiss the top of his head. Now, he holds up his little face for a kiss...those wet little kisseys that I love because his face is so adorable as he is puckering up to plant the kiss.

And the hugs...not just a quick hug that sometimes misses entirely, but a real hug - both arms held there in a good hug that says I love you. Sometimes, I stop and think of the fact that in less than 3 months, he will be back at home with his daddy - this 11 month time of blessing which seemed so scary, wonderful, overwhelming all at the same time when we first began this journey- will be over. Now, I think only of the blessing - the confidence and trust Laurie and Stephen placed in us that day when Kasey was still a baby as they asked us to sign the family care forms in case their Army commitments ever required them to both be gone at the same time. From 3 year old toddler, to 4 year old little boy - and to think we are living these days with him.

And yet, I can't wait until his mommy and daddy can have him back - not that I am anxious to give him back...but that they can experience this wonderful little boy once again. Thank you, Lord...and please keep his daddy safe in the sand, and his mommy steadfast in her studies.

God, please bless our troops...and those who wait.

2009-05-30T08:22:00.002-05:00

The Faces of War

The other night, just as I was putting my laptop to sleep for the night, I noticed that I had a new email from Laurie...the subject line: Picture of Stephen!
Opening it, her words to Stephen's mom, to Ron, and to me were that she found a picture of Stephen on her FRG website. She was so thrilled to see it. It was an action picture - apparently taken during a mission. And while I shared my daughter's thankfulness at finding the one picture out of God only knows how many out there in cyberspace with a picture of her beloved soldier, it also made me cry. (you know how I am). I opened the picture and clicked on it to give me a zoom in, and sure enough, there he was. Now, my first words to that picture were, "Oh Stephen." And the next? Through tears, my prayer, Dear Lord, please bring our soldier home safely to us.
It brings the war too close to home...puts a personal face on it that I cherish...and yet, the loneliness that I feel for him and for Laurie and Kasey. Their loneliness for each other. He is but one soldier in more than one hundred thousand US troops now serving over in the sand. But he is OUR soldier, just as all the men and women over there belong to someone. They belong to many people - and all of them are ours. As individuals, and as a nation.
President Obama said on Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetary, they are the very best our country has to give.
God bless them all - those faces across the sea, and those who serve at home.

2009-05-26T23:18:00.005-05:00

Quiet moments.

I love those last few moments before Kasey gets tucked in to bed at night. The busy-ness of the day is left behind and the time for reading stories and saying prayers becomes a haven for this grandma. That's just it - after a long day for both of us, Kasey and I settle into who we really are - a boy and his grandma. It's our time to put behind us whatever stressors have made their unwelcome presence into our day. For me, those include this waiting for our closing to be done on our house, or the times I've had to raise my voice to a little boy who is being just that, a little boy. 'Eat your peas, Kasey.' 'No more chocolate milk until you have some bites of chicken, Kasey.'
'Please wash your hands, Kasey." Etc., etc., etc. (sigh).
For Kasey, it's putting the time outs he may have had at school behind him, or the words he may have said to grandma or grandpa which got him in trouble...all those moments which make a day upsetting to a 4 year old boy.
Tonight, the pain in my ribs was really bothering me but I wanted to read Kasey a story about Lightening McQueen and his ever present friend Mater the Tow Truck. When he saw that I was in a great deal of discomfort, he filled in the blanks...knows the book by heart...and recited it word for word just by memory and looking at the pictures. After the book, it's time to tell Kasey a story. He always tells me what the story should be about, and leaves the rest to grandma. :)
In those quiet moments, we also say Kasey's prayers - blessing everyone he can think of including 4 legged creatures he (we) love. Tonight we did a little detour from the prayers as he mentioned his doggie Mya and how he will see her when we visit Laurie in July. He can't wait - the love for her (and his mommy) brightening his little face with a beautiful smile.
We asked God to bless his daddy - and a side conversation with a quivering lip as he asked me why his daddy has to be in Iraq. My own lip quivered as I told him his daddy and all the other soldiers over there are brave and wonderful people who believe in making sure everyone is safe from the bad guys.
As we got near the end of his prayers, he was a little restless and I mentioned to him that when we talk to Jesus we should always pay attention to what we are saying. Which prompted a conversation about how Jesus died - "are those the same bad guys where daddy is grandma?"
(No, Kasey, but people are still not understanding why Jesus died which doesn't make them bad, just not understanding about Jesus).
In the end, we adjust his covers, turn the right nightlights on which allow him to read his book one last time for the day, and we say "Night Night, I love you" about 4 times until he is done asking last minute questions.
And I walk down the hallway....not feeling like a guardian at all.
Finally, I am just grandma. And I smile...just as I am smiling now.
God bless our troops and those who love them. Especially their children, who wait -and wonder just how long it will be before it isn't grandma who says their prayers with them, but their mommies and daddies.

2009-05-23T09:08:00.005-05:00

Because of the Brave

This is definitely a weekend when all military families reflect on the freedom our nation so cherishes - and even more, on the loved ones who keep us free. There's not a whole lot to it - plain and simple, we are free because of the brave.

We are ever so mindful of who to thank. Those who serve now, those who have served in the past, and especially those who have sacrificed everything - even their very lives - so that we may remain free.

It's a belief. A treasure we have been given; and something we can all too easily take for granted if we don't set our hearts in the right place.

What will you do this weekend to honor them? We will hopefully talk to Stephen - more importantly KASEY will talk to Stephen. We will also have our daily conversations with Laurie (and more importantly KASEY will talk to Laurie). And wherever we go, as we pass the flag dotted cemetaries, we will thank God for all who give today - all who gave so much in the past.

There is a certain pride that is in the hearts of Americans - not a boastful pride, but rather an appreciative pride. It allows us to stop and think - to be thankful for this land we live in. Not for the material things we have, but for the principle on which this nation was founded. For our freedom to worship, and speak, to be together in our ideals and opinions - or to differ in them.

I give you thanks, dear Lord, for our freedom. For these men and women who have given so much for so many years.

Since the beginning of time, there has been strife in this world. And therefore, warriors. Great differences in warriors, though, have made the struggles different as well. In America, we fight for Freedom - here on our soil, and wherever it needs to be defended.

In the hearts of our American warriors dwell committment, loyalty, courage, and if truth be told, fear. May Faith also dwell there as well. ALWAYS, may they know that God is with them.

God bless you and this land of the free we call home.

2009-05-17T18:17:00.003-05:00

Connections

We are still waiting for a new closing date - a date that actually sticks this time - so this morning, I had just a few more things to go through before I could say I was satisfied with what I saved and what I couldn't keep. I have this notebook type album made by a good friend a long time ago. It's a red notebook with patriotic cloth covering it and the words "Military Moms" on it. Inside, many pages of postcards from military moms I have "met" over the years via this wonderful blessing called the internet. Some have remained good and close friends, some are easy to remember and make me smile in doing so, but are no longer part of our military moms website and we have lost touch; and others who have left the mms website are still good friends. A few years back, maybe 5 or 6 years ago, we had a group who decided to have a postcard exchange - we sent postcards from our home cities to each other and we gathered quite a nice collection - these are the postcards I found today in the notebook. Going through the pages of the book today and looking at the postcards from all over this great country, it made me smile.
My Two Star Banner is now packed away in a box and safely inside a uhaul, but it will be one of the first things I unpack when we have our new home and are sitting in a campground. I anticipate all the new friends who are out there - military parents those who see our Two Star banner and realize that they have found other military parents who can understand the sacrifices made, the fears they have, the pride.
I am grateful for the connections that make this roller coaster ride such a blessing - and if you are reading my words right now, I am grateful for YOU.
God bless our troops and those who love them.

2009-05-05T14:49:00.004-05:00

Stars and Stripes Forever.

Well, since today seemed to be a pretty good day pain-wise, I thought it would be a good day to pack/sort/pitch the stuff in my linen closets. I only needed help with the top shelves - had nurse Ron pull those things down to my level for me. I sorted through the sheets and tablecloths and cloth napkins - so many were inherited from my mom and Ron's mom and Laurie had asked if I could give her some of them (gladly Laurie), so I went through them all. In doing so, I remembered the tables our moms used to set - with the ample and steaming bowls of mashed potatoes, and vegetables with cheese sauce or butter, perfect salads, and platters of meat - and full to the brim gravy boats sitting next to them. Dinner rolls - mmmm good - with REAL butter.

Anyway, it was a good project for today. A nice box of memories will go in the trailer with Laurie's name on it.

Of course it also meant going through the tons - ok, not tons, but LOTS - of dishtowels I have built up over the years. Some of the towels I've b0ught found their way into scrub buckets filled with Murphy's Oil Soap or Mr. Clean, and I found a few more that qualify for Mr. Murphy during today's task. But oh my gosh - I never realized how many patriotic towels I've bought, and been given, over the last 10 years or so since Laurie went into the military. Stars, stripes, patriotic hearts, lighthouses with flags offering a symbol of "light" as well. (Karen, I thought of you when I put them in the "save" pile, and figured you probably have some which are similar. Then there were the several navy blue and white checked towels with the patriotic hearts on them - Kim and Linda - I remember those with the mugs you gave me (the mugs are amongst those going with us - they made "the cut":). And the red and blue towels with white stars on them which Laurie bought in our favorite gift shop near one of her past duty stations where she and I did some of our best shopping with Ron's blessing - well, ok, maybe not with his blessing, but with his credit card. (Isn't that the same thing?).

And so, even though our patriotically themed wallpaper was stripped last month for the soon to be new owner of our home, the things that made this house our home - the touches that define who we are - will go with us. I am smiling here.

Stars and Stripes Forever? You bet.

God bless those who fight for those stars and stripes - and those of us who wave them proudly as we wait.

2009-05-01T14:55:00.002-05:00

Ummm, Doc, can you help me please?

Hmmm. No, this isn't a repeat post. Last night, I had an early dinner (soup, sandwich PLAIN lemonade) with my friend and her little 8 month old daughter (she's gorgeous and friendly and smiley) and then stopped at Tim Horton's for some decaf coffee and some donut holes for Kasey.
When I got home, Kasey was talking to his mommy. Happy that I hadn't missed her call, I put my stuff down and went over to sit down. Kasey was just saying his goodbyes so I took the phone when he handed it to me and started talking to Laurie. Enter KLUTZ. I lost my balance as I was sitting down in the chair. The rest is kind of a blur...I fell, hitting my back on the cement ledge around the fireplace, bounced off the ledge and landed on the floor. Couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, couldn't holler for help or tell Laurie I was ok. I could hear Laurie saying - "hello, hello - are you there, mom?" And then I heard Kasey say to Ron, "what's the matter with Grandma? " Enter Sir Lancelot (Ron) who was asking me why I was on the floor, why I couldn't talk, what was the matter with me. One word answer: "FELL!" I couldn't tell him what happened - he just thought I fell. So, he hung up the phone - Laurie had hung up by then and two seconds later the phone rang and it was her - she thought she got disconnected. Ron told her that her mother fell and was trying to decide whether or not to get up off the floor.
So he said that I would talk to her today.
Enter pain. Shock is gone, pain is setting in. I got to the couch - Kasey runs to get his favorite blankie and says, "here grandma, this will make you cozy." (Don't you LOVE little kids? They offer so much comfort in so few words).
Long story short, I went to bed at 10 pm, woke up at 1:30 am and Ron helped me out to the recliner where I slept for four hours. This morning I felt better except for the spasms of pain in my rib cage. One visit to my favorite family doctor in the whole wide world, a visit to the xray place, and voila! 2 broken ribs, but my lung wasn't punctured.
Six weeks and I should be fine. But he gave me a couple of prescriptions for meds. He did say the packing, traveling, etc., wasn't going to be easy. Oh, well. When I think of how serious it could have been, it's really ok.
Today is Laurie's birthday - 29 for the first time. How did so many years go by? We called her first thing this morning so Kasey could say Happy Birthday to mommy. She had gotten her birthday box yesterday so that was the first thing she did when she got up. (this from the girl who said 'I don't need a THING.') I love sending birthday surprises, don't you? Even if they don't need anything - it's important to say to them: I NEED to tell you that I love you on your birthday and always.
Ron and Kasey should be home soon with Kasey's movies for the weekend. Bless his heart - and his grandpa's too. How blessed am I to have them here? No words to describe that blessing.
Have a good weekend everyone.
Message to self: try to stay upright. :)
God bless our troops.

2009-04-28T06:51:00.004-05:00

Branching out!

It seemed inappropriate to include all my travel adventures here on Two Star Mom. This is, after all, a blog created to honor my two soldiers and all of our military and their families. Being part of a military family is a unique honor - a roller coaster adventure in itself.
And I have a feeling that being on the road full time in an RV will also be unique - a real trip. Pardon the pun, please.
In any case, I made the plunge and created another blog for the traveler in me to use. It's called - Living the Dream - I THINK!
I tried to insert the shortcut into this post but wasn't successful, and so if you'd like to visit, the link is in my profile. Ironically. although I struggle with Two Star Mom in trying to post links and shortcuts, I have been able to set up a link list - still incomplete - on my new blog. That is a big YAY!! since so many of you have been visiting me for so long and I couldn't figure out how to send others to your sites. Problem solved, or so it seems. If your site isn't there yet, it will be soon.
I will still be here as Two Star Mom, but I'll be hanging the two star banner in our fifth wheel trailer and taking it on the road. I hope you visit once in awhile to see where we are - hmmm, does that sound like I don't know where we are going?
One last thing for this morning's post and it has nothing to do with blue star banners or RVing. It's all about health and the flu epidemic that is beginning to move across our nation, and the world. Be safe, be cautious, be alert for the signs of this disease in your family or others. All of you are a blessing to me and I'd like you to stay healthy and happy. These are precautions that we will take as well - so that branching out and moving on can become reality.
God's blessings my friends and God bless our troops.

2009-04-23T18:50:00.002-05:00

So, What's Up Doc?

This is a post I have been praying I could make for a couple of weeks.
It all started a few weeks ago with a hearing test at an ear, nose, and throat specialist. I've been having so much trouble hearing out of my right ear - it's been a gradual hearing loss, but definitely more prounounced in the last several months. It was getting to the point that nearly everything couldn't be heard, or if I did hear someone speaking all the words were garbled. So, before we headed out and before my health insurance switched over, I thought I would have it checked out. I flunked the hearing test miserably, more than that - because everything is garbled - the ENT dr. asked me to have an MRI to rule out a rare type of benign tumor that causes the symptoms I've been having. I had the MRI the next morning - got the results last week. The doc comes into the room and said, "you're the lady who's going to travel in an RV, aren't you?" And I said, "Yup...aren't I?" (there was something about the way he asked the question). And then he told me he was going to throw a monkey wrench into our plans because guess what? I am one of those one in 100,000 people who get this rare type of benign tumor. He told me it's on my brain but it's really small. Three methods of treatment: watch it with MRIs, radiation, or surgery. Enter shock and awe. And tears. So I go home and tell Ron I have a tumor, and got an appointment with a neuro surgeon.
The appointment was this morning and the news was good - find a good primary MD when we get to our home base, and then have him refer me to a good neurologist who will monitor it for me. The tumor is on the nerve to my auditory canal - not actually on the brain. The hearing that is gone is gone - no treatment will bring it back. But the news was the best I could hope for.
The neuro surgeon summed it up pretty good this morning - told me that the ENT dr. was definitely looking for this tumor when he ordered the MRI. He also said this usually hits people like a ton of bricks. Yup, he's got that right.
So, with the blessing of the doctor, it's full steam ahead. Pack, sign papers, and close the door behind us as we begin a new journey in two weeks.
Oh, and I finally found the place in WNY who makes the PERFECT pizza - and great wings too. I think we found that place the day I had my hearing test - at least something good happened that day. :) We took Laurie and Kasey there yesterday.
But the REALLY good thing that happened that day was that God sent me to an ENT doctor who was thorough by suspecting a tumor. And by making sure I followed up.
So, God is still here, blessing us. No surprise in THAT, is there? He is so good.
Blessings my friends.

2009-04-22T16:04:00.002-05:00

With the sure and certain hope of Resurrection.

When my dad passed away in 1999, we were thankful that he had made all the pre-arrangements for himself and for mom before their health began to fail. They lived in Florida, and so, as my two sisters and I met that afternoon at the funeral home in Florida, there was very little we needed to worry about. The funeral home director had made all the arrangements to fly dad's remains to Buffalo for the viewing, the funeral, and the cremation. Dad even had his and mom's urns selected and purchased. And so, since I was the only daughter living in Buffalo, I brought his ashes home - and mom's also when she passed away in 2003. We knew that before we left for our new journey, the ashes would need to be interred in Dad’s family plot of a small cemetery about an hour from my home. Laurie hadn’t been able to get home when Dad died because she was in training, and she also did not return home when mom passed away since she and Stephen were on their honeymoon (I chose not to tell her until they were home), and also the war was looming and they were about to begin their deployment training. When I knew that we could inter Mom and Dad’s ashes while Laurie was home on leave, I asked her if she would like to be present. She said yes- it would be closure for her.
This morning, Ron and I, Laurie and Kasey took the ashes to the cemetery and had them interred. My sister asked me to be the one to do the brief service since she and our other sister both live out of state and couldn't be here to participate. So last night, I wrote a brief service, choosing Scripture and hymns I knew mom and dad would like.
I printed the service out last night on plain white paper, adding a graphic of a cross and a heart, and the words of John 3:16 to the front fold of the service; this morning – in the rain and cold wind of a WNY April morning, we stood before the urns and said our goodbyes. They are finally at rest. There’s an empty corner now on the concrete ledge that goes around our fireplace in the family room; yet with the sure and certain hope of resurrection, I said my earthly goodbyes this morning – knowing that at the time God has pre-ordained me to join them, I will embrace them again. To close the service, we sang The Common Doxology.
Indeed, Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.
Thank you for letting me share.
God bless you and may He bless our troops.

2009-04-19T11:52:00.006-05:00

The girl in the Nike sweatshirt:

There's one thing better than a hug from your child - and that is:

watching as she hugs her own little boy. Life in it's perfect circle.

Dear Lord thank you for this long awaited reunion - please bless Laurie's and Kasey's time together. And also please bless a husband and daddy in the sand, knowing the two people he loves most in this world are together.

2009-04-13T06:57:00.002-05:00

Let's get serious here!

Ok, this week is going to be a killer. Packing, cleaning, and physical therapy. Dishes, pots and pans, linens and all miscellaneous things joining us on our journey need to come out of their rightful places and get wrapped in newspaper and into boxes. Half of the two and a half car garage will be filled with boxes by week's end. This is a good feeling. Saturday, it took me a couple of hours to sort out all of Kasey's toys and condense them from two boxes into a large plastic tote with a picture of Lightening McQueen on it and a bright red cover (let know if you don't know who Lightening McQueen is :). Kasey, trying to help (but mostly saying, "I've been looking for this grandma" and then playing) was also asking, "Why is this taking so long and when can we color Easter eggs, grandma?"
Last night I was really tired - hips really bothering me from standing on the ceramic tile floor all day in the kitchen - so I was in bed by 9:30. It was a great day, but grandma was tired.
Today, no appointments or anything to draw me away from the fun - :) so I will get a lot done.
This is so that when Laurie comes to visit she won't feel like she has to pack stuff and can just spend time with Kasey.
The physical therapy for my back is going ok. I am finding all sorts of joints and muscles that I didn't even know I had but I guess this means it's working.
But I guess I'm not getting anything done sitting here blogging, right?
Better get moving. Literally.
God bless those held captive by the pirates in the standoff which just ended - and the Navy Seals who rescued them - thank God for their bravery.
May He bless all of our troops - those standing guard at home, and all those across the seas.

2009-04-12T10:53:00.003-05:00

HE IS RISEN!!

It is Easter Sunday - the somber days of reflecting on the last supper, the betrayal, and Jesus' trial and death are over (all of which should never be forgotten), and CHRIST IS RISEN!

This morning's service of joy was as uplifting as always - the church filled with the scent of hyacinths, lilies, and tulips, the windows draped in white with butterflies fastened to the drapes to remind us of our new life in Christ. Pastor had changed the communion assistant schedule to include me because he asked me to serve this one last time with him before I leave in a couple of weeks. So, it was not only joyful this morning, but bittersweet. This was the 26th Easter Sunday since God called our family to the doors of this church. Year in year out, day in and day out, moment to moment, there has never been a time when Jesus hasn't been there. And because of this constant reassurance, He has been with me as well - no matter the path God has led me on.

And so again this morning, He was there in all His risen glory.

May He be with you today my friends - and each day to come. May the joy of the risen Christ also bless and be with the men and women who serve our nation at home and away. His peace is one which is everlasting - and the hope we have in Him a hope that endures forever. It matters not where we are, He goes with us.

HE IS RISEN. ALLELUIA!

2009-04-02T08:23:00.002-05:00

It's not always easy.

We talked to Laurie last night. She got another good grade on an exam yesterday, but she said that two of her friends had not made the grades they needed to stay in the program. It's an extremely difficult program, and to make the "grade" so to speak, they are required to study, study, study. They have no "life" to speak of except studying, and I think it's discouraging sometimes when soldiers see their friends try so hard and not make it. Some people just don't do well on exams - studying for hours doesn't help, and hope isn't enough to get the grade they need. And so, although I heard discouragement in her voice last week, she isn't changing a thing. Her life is studying, PT, taking the dog for a walk or run, doing laundry (while studying of course). I know that she is tired, but she feels it's worth it. And so, Kasey and I will fill a box with happy things and send it to her for Easter. He made a wonderful dinosaur picture yesterday at preschool and he says his mommy likes dinosaurs so he will send it to her in our happy box.
Same with Stephen - he never sounds discouraged, but does sound tired. Our happy box will go to him tomorrow as well. Sometimes when he calls us at dinner time and he should be in bed, but says they just got back, it makes me wonder how the mission went. Know what I mean? So I bought him some extra special things yesterday and Kasey and I will make some cookies tonight and frost and decorate them. Stephen will know without a doubt who decorated them. :) And this is good. It isn't always easy to know what to say when they are tired or discouraged, but I just ask God to give me the words that will offer a little bit of sunshine or peace. I count on Him a LOT.

Things here at home are good - if busy is good then we are REALLY good. It's wonderful to have my early morning time with Kasey, to get him ready for school, comb his hair a bit because he needs another Army style haircut (we just did that about 3 weeks ago - it grows really fast).There's a lot to be said for busy-ness. It keeps me focused on the task at hand, and helps my heart be grateful for God's hand at work in my life. We don't always know where the road is going to take us- further away or closer to home - but we know He is always with us however long that road may be. And I am assured of His hand on my children as well. I pray they feel it.

God bless our troops - and all of us who wait.

2009-03-28T16:21:00.003-05:00

Who would have thought?

Yesterday was my last day of work. It becomes official at beginning of business on Tuesday - I am retired. It's been quite a week for me...people stopping by my desk to say goodbye, or to say they thoroughly expect me to stop back sometime when we come "home" to visit Scott. And yesterday was an extremely emotional day - trying to get things done, a few problems here and there, little fires which needed extinguishing. And so, by the time I got to my wonderful party at 3 oclock, I thought I was doing well - tears had fallen during the day at various intervals but I had a handle on it.

Uh huh, sure I did.

It was a wonderful party and I did quite well until I opened my gifts - my co workers were so generous. And then it was time for me to speak. Saying good bye is just not something I am good at, and even though it came out ok, I woke up this morning thinking of all I could have added. There were three banners hanging on the wall with so many wonderful sentiments written on them, I didn't dare read them until I got home. This is also when I read some of the cards which were written by people I have come to love and respect - some of them in the background of this picture. Long story short - the smile on my face above is how I feel - truly. It was taken when I saw Ron and Kasey walk into the party and I thanked God that this is where my future lies - Ron has always been my life, but now we have another excellent adventure ahead of us. I look back on all the things God has brought us through, and I am so thankful, but I am sure that He has so much ahead of us as well.

When Ron and I got married nearly 40 years ago, Richard and Karen Carpenter had a mega hit - We've Only Just Begun.

Honey, here we go again - just beginning. But I have a feeling that every once in awhile, I just might be looking back - to savor the memory of 14 years working with friends in a job I loved.

God bless our troops.

2009-03-20T18:40:00.003-05:00

Days with Kasey

Hi friends.

Sorry - it's been awhile since I've been here (or anywhere in the blogging world) but the days are pretty busy right now. This weekend, we are taking some time off to take Scott and Veronica, Luke and Kasey to the circus. Send in the clowns. (I don't like clowns).
Things are winding down here - I have exactly 5 more working days and then I will be an old(?) retired lady. This will be bittersweet for me - the other morning I went into my boss' office, shared a few tears, and said that this will likely be very hard for me to do. I think it's because I have enjoyed my job thoroughly - and have made some wonderful friends along the way.
And so, in just a Monday thru Friday work week, the days of phone calls and emails and processing and procedure writing will end and become - instead - days with Kasey. Selfishly, I feel they are passing too swiftly, and yet this mother's heart knows that the goal is for Laurie to get through school, Stephen to return from the sand, and all of them to be together. Mya, their dog (who gets to live with Laurie), will be glad when she doesn't have to spend her days cooped up in the bathroom. :)
I plan to write a story about all of this - about the coming days with Kasey...and all the ones that have passed since he came to live with us. Pictures and memories, reflections on being his grandma - and his guardian. The story will be written when Ron and Kasey and I are finally in our RV home somewhere across the country. I am thinking of nights spent in a cozy little living room, which is 3 steps away from the kitchen (excuse me, the galley- sorry Ron). There will be "weather" no doubt, but I'm just gonna hunker down and be retired-put a sweatshirt on if need be. That could be the toughest decision of the day - should it be my sweatshirt, or one of Ron's flannel shirts? Anyway, there will be pictures and some of Kasey's artwork, and a few odds and ends from Hobby Lobby :) and give it to Laurie and Stephen for Christmas. By then, Laurie will have completed her first phase of the program she is in and will hopefully be stationed back at home with Stephen. And then HER days will be with Kasey.
I also have something planned about Veronica - about the weekends she spent with us while Scott was living here during the first year of his separation from Tina.
It will be called, "Weekends with Papa" and I will give this to Scott when it is finished.
I hope that each of these books - Kasey's and Veronica's - will be something that will help them to remember the days we have spent together.
So the other day, as I cleaned out my personal things from my desk at work the other day (cleaning a little at a time each day), I found many things that could go into a personal scrapbook. One that I will enjoy putting together when leaving isn't quite so fresh in my mind, and the days of retirement are being enjoyed in an RV park somewhere in this great country of ours.
Stephen called the other night - they've been busy. :( Not what a mom wants to hear. But we are nearly 7 months into it all and on the down side. This is a blessing.
Thanks to all of you who have stopped in while I've been awol. While I was gone, I celebrated a birthday. My 62nd - lots of years behind me, more than there are ahead of me but God has a journey planned and I will follow it's path as far as it reaches.
Hard to believe that we'll be on the road in just about 5 or 6 weeks. But so will my computer.
God bless our troops and all of us who love them.

2009-03-06T19:11:00.003-05:00

Celebrating Kasey!

In an Army hospital, four years ago today and in the wee hours of the morning, Kasey was born. He was little and kind of frail; had some breathing problems and the kids were scared. And when they took him to the intensive care nursery, so was I. Stephen stood next to the isolette saying, "come on buddy," and all I could do was stand next to Stephen and pray. Once Laurie was in recovery, Stephen told me to go back to their house and get some sleep. I fought the urge to stay because I thought they needed some time alone. And so I left...but on the way out of the hospital, I stopped in the chapel. It was nearly dawn, no one else was there. Except for God and His Son who sat with me, listened to my prayers and calmed my fears.

When I got back to Stephen and Laurie's, I looked around at the home that was ready to receive a little boy and the tears finally flowed, and I fell asleep on the couch for all of two hours. When I awoke, I called the hospital. Kasey was out of ICU, swaddled in a receiving blanket and sleeping like an angel in his isolette in Laurie's room.

Four years later, those moments come back to me as some of the most precious in my life. Seeing him being born, understanding that he was completely in God's hands, and trusting in that perfect care that God provides.

And so this morning, the first thing Laurie did when she got up was to open the package I sent to her earlier this week - the pictures I had taken last week to mark Kasey's fourth year birthday. And she loved them. She took them all to school to show her friends, and they loved him. Who wouldn't? :)

Tonight we had Kasey's favorite for dinner - chicken noodle casserole and bisquits. I made him a yellow cake with chocolate frosting - and four candles.

Kasey stayed home from school until his daddy called late this morning, and then - armed with the mini cupcakes grandma made and skippy cups that went with them, he and grandpa headed to school. When I got home from work tonight he was sitting and waiting for me - wondering if he could open his "big" presents. And so he did and the squeals when he opened them all were so happy.

Tomorrow a party with Scott and Veronica and Luke. But tonight, well, tonight I am just basking in the peace that comes with having a four year old birthday boy running around the house with his dinosaur transformer. I know that Laurie and Stephen miss him - and that he misses them, but oh Lord, I am so grateful that I am still young enough to enjoy the wonders of a little boy's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KASEY! WE LOVE YOU.

God bless our troops and those who love them. Especially a little 4 year old boy, far from his mom and dad but trusting there will be a time when they will all be reunited when the deployment is over.

2009-03-03T21:15:00.003-05:00

What makes a house a Home?

Here we are - finally doing the packing thing. Deciding what we can keep that will be appropriate to carry with us in our RV full time, what we can give away without much pain, and are we going to be able to actually get rid of things with out being sorry about it later. You know - if you've ever had to move, or downsize, or REALLY condense your stuff - it's not easy. I probably still have every card I ever received; have every little trinket and souvenir the kids have brought home from garage sales or school field trips, or dollar stores. Just for me, given with proud smiles.
And mugs? Where the heck am I going to put 30 mugs in my trailer? And I won't part with any of them because I've actually been able to get rid of 4 or 5 - all others stay. Well at least for another week until I downsize them again next week. :)
So tonight, Ron mentioned that he is going to steam all the wall paper off the walls in the entrance hallway so the new owner of the house won't have to do it. At first it upset me because, you see, it's patriotically themed. Laurie helped me pick out the wallpaper and the border when she was home on leave during a major remodeling project. On these walls hung my little pictures of angels holding flags, of a little girl dressed in red, white and blue, and where I hung the poem I wrote for Laurie a long time ago. The Heart of A Soldier - my only published written work. There is another wall - in an RV - waiting for them.
So I realized, as I took all of these wall hangings down, that no matter what the walls look like without the paper, no amount of steaming will remove the feelings represented on that wall for so many years. The pride, the love, the thanksgiving - all the joy, and fear, and faith that go into being an American military mom can't be steamed off my heart, or my memory.
So what makes a house a home? Not walls, or interior decorating, not anything material.
It's the memories, the love, and family happenings shared within these walls. And they will go with us no matter where we go.
God is good.
Blessings my friends.
And may He bless our troops wherever they serve, and those who wait.

2009-02-26T23:11:00.003-05:00

It's time.

Yesterday morning I went into work with a really great feeling. I had made one of the most important decisions of my life and it felt good - my shoulders feel a lot less burdened by wondering when exactly I would make this choice. And so, when my supervisor came in and started to unlock her office door, she looked at me and knew that I had something to tell her - and something to give her. It was my notice of retirement - the paperwork was submitted and it was time to take the step. I cried like a baby when I gave it to her. I am hopeless.
You know, it felt more like a giant leap than a step, but I took it anyway. And so, in just a few weeks, my time at the university will be done, my desk will finally be empty, and I can walk away knowing that I've enjoyed every moment, have loved each day that I was blessed to work there, and most of all, that I could leave knowing that I was leaving friends rather than co-workers. It will be a bittersweet time - a time of preparation, of dotting I's and crossing Ts. (Of filling the confidential recycle bin with all those things that I will never need to remember again about Federal financial aid). By the time Kasey and Veronica are old enough for college I can MAYBE still remember how to fill out a FAFSA application but I wouldn't bet on it.
And this will be a time of letting go. It won't be easy. Dear Lord, please help me to realize that it's not a bad thing to retire - it's just a different road to travel. And it doesn't matter that my sick leave credit is based on my life expectancy - although it's quite humorous to see how much time they are giving me at the outset. :) Yup, humorous is the right word I guess.
But hey - this is no time to think about life expectancy. I think God still has a lot in store for Ron and I.
It's time we found out - don't ya think?
Blessings and love and as always, may God bless our troops and those of us who wait.

2009-02-21T05:23:00.002-05:00

Keeping in Touch

Deployment is taking on a whole new meaning these days as Stephen's missions in the sand get longer and longer. It means that he isn't able to call, doesn't have the time to write, and internet access isn't something easily come by - he does have his computer with him, but internet access is expensive. And so, we hunker down now, write more letters, send more Kasey pictures and "artwork" and wait for the time when he can have a better schedule.
We have plenty to keep us busy these days. The house is sold, there is plenty to pack (and toss), and our furniture is being sold a piece or two at a time, which is great. We've had a few struggles here and there, but time is going really quickly and before we know it, life as we know it will be sooo much different. It's been our dream for a long time now to do this full time RVing thing, and now that the time is here, for me it's just a bit frightening. No. frightening is not the word. I can't think of a word to describe it, but it's not a bad thing. Just overwhelming. Yup, that's the word. Overwhelming. Whew - glad I got THAT figured out. :)
Kasey, Kasey, Kasey. Our days with him are going so quickly-the days with him yet to come are ahead of us like a wonderful beam of sunshine. Laurie calls every day so it's good that he can talk to mommy and stay connected to her during this long separation.
I've been bad about visiting your blogs - please forgive me. Having not been here for a week either, I can tell you that life just keeps going at break neck speed and I am trusting that it will slow down one of these days. It will, WON"T it?
God bless you all...and may He keep our troops safe in His care.

2009-02-13T18:57:00.002-05:00

Flight 3407

Last night, as I was turning out lights and getting ready for bed, I paused to sit at my computer for a few moments and listen to the 11 oclock local news. It was then that I learned about a small plane that crashed into a home in a suburb east of Buffalo, and it totally flattened the home and the entire neighborhood was witness to a home being demolished. The first reports were about a small plane, so I assumed it was a private plane. But it didn't matter what kind of a plane it was, those on board had perished, and most likely everyone in the home as well. And God heard my prayers along with those at the scene.
This morning, I turned on the news and sadly found out that the plane was a commuter plane flying into Buffalo with 49 people on board in mist and snow and wind. Somehow, the day went on, but in a state of sorrow for all of those lost.
You have probably all heard about it by now and so I add my prayers to yours. You probably have heard the stories of those on board - each of them personal, and sad.
But there were also the stories of God's grace for some of the would be passengers who missed Flight 3407 because of missed connections, or deciding not to go standby after all. All of these things were God's will, not luck, but God's Grace. I pray those lost now rest with Him and that those who mourn for their loved ones also know His peace. It's what we count on and appreciate when we don't have the answers to "why?"
May He be with us all and help us to appreciate our lives - and spread His love.

2009-02-06T18:42:00.003-05:00

I see you smiling, Mom and Dad.

Today, my little sister Chelle became a grandma when her oldest daughter, my niece Nicole, gave birth to her first child. He was delivered by c-section since he weighed 9lbs. 5 oz. Big boy Van Christian is, but healthy - and his mommy is doing well also. I've been feeling pretty nostalgic today and thinking a lot about our family. This little boy is named for his grandpa, (we called him Skip, but his name was Van) whom he will never meet because he passed away 11 years ago. I know that he is smiling down with pride and happiness on his daughter and grandson.
There are three of us girls born to my mom and dad - poor dad had to wait til I gave birth to Scott to have a baby boy in the family. But Dad was proud of his family and I know he's smiling down with Mom as they see Chelle as a new grandma. All their girls are grandmas. There's kind of a completeness about it, you know? Chelle and her hubby Bob will be wonderful grandparents - just like Mom and Dad were.
And so, welcome to the world little Van Christian. There are many of us who haven't met you, and yet we love you. The world is good - don't let anyone tell you different. Tonight your mommy's and daddy's world is perfect....and it's just the beginning for you all.
I am so thankful for my mom and dad - for bringing us up in a loving and happy home. It makes days like today even more perfect.
Be blessed Nicole and Bryan and Van. God is watching over you all with His great -and very tender - goodness and love.

2009-01-31T06:31:00.005-05:00

Turning Corners.

It's been quite a week here - the weather has been horrendous. Snow. Snow! Snow!!
The lady that looked at our house says she wants it but has done nothing about a formal offer so we will list it next week and hopefully sell quickly. We will also start packing and get ready for a household sale. I will also check into the preliminary paperwork for retirement - it takes 30 days or so to retire. :)
All of this is much like the driving I had to do during all of these snow storms we've had. You know about the turning corners thing - slow down, but keep your foot off the break and if you start to slide just go with it and don't turn the wheel the other way.
Kasey is a good little boy but has had a couple of rough days in school this week which carried over to home at least one of those days. Got himself (and grandma) good and upset before we even left the day care parking lot on the drive home one day and by the time we got home it was getting worse. Once we got home and in the house, and out of our cold weather garb. I sat down on the step. pulled him over to me and sat him on my lap and we talked, and apologized to each other - the good and sincere apology that comes with a warm hug and a heartfelt, "I love you."
We're just trying to make our way here - turning the corners, so to speak. Scott has some health issues and I know that he is thinking about us leaving - it isn't going to be as easy as it seems. We all look forward to the day when we retire - getting there isn't easy though, is it?
Laurie is doing very well in school, Stephen instant messages to us all when he can although we are like ships passing in the night because of the time and schedule difference. All I know is that when I see his name with a yellow happy face next to it on my messenger - even if his status is "Idle" or when I see both Stephen and Laurie's happy faces lit up, then there is a big piece of my heart that is at peace.
Turning corners isn't a bad thing - it's good when you know what will be ahead of you, but we don't know God's will and I'm not about to guess. I am hoping that this huge corner we are headed for will be easier to navigate than what it seems like now.
Think I will give my brain a rest this weekend and watch the Superbowl. Yup, that's what we will do. Watch some of the hype, order some pizza or maybe make some hot soup and sandwiches and veg in front of the TV.
And wait for the weather advisories to crawl across the bottom of the TV. :)
Sounds like a plan. Hope YOUR weekend is a good one too. Many blessings.
God bless our troops and those of us who wait.

2009-01-23T10:56:00.001-05:00

Just when I thought I was home free....

Ok, I've been thinking to myself since October, "let's try to make this a winter without an upper respiratory infection...can we do that, Susan?" As December passed into January and I got through all the busy-ness of the holidays - shopping in stores with people who should be home taking care of their colds, not catching any of the colds other kids shared with Veronica and Kasey in school and day care, and getting three weeks into January, I was just thinking the other day, "HA! You're gonna do it!"
And then there was yesterday morning when the familiar scratchy throat, red nose and eyes, and sneezing hit. One of my staff members told me when she saw me first thing yesterday morning, "you look and sound sick!" (encouraging way to start the day). Good thing I love her. :) And when I woke up at 3:30 this morning head pounding, sneezing, etc., I decided to get up as usual at 5:15, take my sudafed, wait til 6:15 and see how I felt. At 6:15, I picked up the phone and called in a voicemail to my Supervisor that I wouldn't be in today. I can do some things here today - need to do a spreadsheet and that will be easy without having any interuptions. Well, not counting Lily begging to have her ears scratched.
Things are changing for me at work. Our director sent out an email yesterday to the entire organization asking them not to call me for customer service issues since I am preparing to retire and the staff needs to learn the issues and the answers they should be giving. No longer will I be doing processing, but rather documenting the things that my supervisor would like me to leave behind. It feels different already -not like I'm not still needed but as if the baton has already been passed. It's hard, you know? And if it's hard for me to do NOW, how difficult will it be for me when I leave?
Well, there is always the fact that I am retiring to be with Ron and the rest of our family. There is the fact that we will be traveling and we will have Kasey with us. I think I can get used to that without ANY problem at all. But we will be leaving Scott and Veronica behind...THIS will be a heartbreaker for Nana, Papa and I think for Veronica too. Scott might miss us a bit also. :) but hopefully they will be able to travel to see us - with a little help from our checking account once in awhile.
And so today, I will nurse my cold, and my sciatica, and build my color coded spread sheet. Tomorrow we will go hunting for RVs again - Kasey loves doing this and has to sit in the driver's seat in every motor home that's there. Of course we won't be buying a motor home, but he can still enjoy looking at them.
We are waiting for the lady who looked at the house last week to be able to bring her son through with her. This is good, don't you think? She's had a week to think about it and she still wants the house. YAY!
Time for my sudafed....blessings for your weekend.
God bless our troops.

2009-01-20T17:41:00.004-05:00

Are We a Different Nation?

Today - we have probably all heard at least 10 times - is a day for the history books. As one President leaves as some (most?) do ~ with a less than pleasing performance in the eyes of many ~ we can be thankful that we live in a country where WE get to decide our next leader. Of course not all of us chose the same man (and we came oh so close to being able to say "woman"), but I think we now need to put all of the political stuff behind us and get on the same page. Support our nation by working together. It won't always be pretty, but it is democracy at work. We have youth in the White House - not just in the man and woman who are the first parents of the nation, but in their cute little girls. It's been awhile since the White House has been occupied by children as young as the Obama girls - and they will most certainly love the experience.
And so, ARE we a different nation tonight? I must admit that I wish I could have watched the inauguration events today - and will try to catch some of the reruns and highlights tonight. It is exciting - and yet a bit heartbreaking at the same time. We see a man take the oath of office for the highest and most influential position in the free world - maybe in the entire world.
And we pray - for him, for his family, and his safety. We pray that God will give him wisdom and strength; the energy - and the conscience - to do what is right for this awesome nation and the interests of the world.
But no matter where our political affiliations are, we are also seeing a President go home to his native state of Texas. A man who showed what he was made of on September 11, 2001. Who made some poor choices over the course of 8 years, but I truly believe kept our nation safe from other terror attacks. I am one of those in the minority because I still believe George Bush is a good man. I pray God will bless him with a restful conscience - because every man who has good intentions and a peaceful heart should have a sense of accomplishment over a job that is way too much for a normal man to endure 24/7, 365.
This is probably the MOST outspoken post you will ever see on Two Star Mom. But I try to see the good in everyone - I believe there were so many good intentions in the man who left the oval office today.
And may God be gracious to the man who will be at work there in the morning. The new Commander in Chief for those who serve. Dear Lord, may they be able to look to him with confidence and security in who he is.
Maybe we CAN be a different nation - and rely on God's will instead of mankind's.
God bless America and the troops who defend her.

2009-01-19T11:38:00.002-05:00

This house belongs to Murphy's.

Hi everyone. It's been a busy week - cleaning, polishing, pitching and tossing. Ron helped so much - he was awesome. The lady did indeed stop on Saturday - she brought her sister and brother in law also since she is single - widowed or divorced - so she wanted some moral support in checking out things like the furnace, wiring, etc. She told us we would be seeing her again, and that she was going to call her lawyer to draw up an offer. We are really excited at this but are not holding our breath since the offer is what counts.
As long as the house is in good shape, :-), we are having a realtor come in on Friday, just in case the offer isn't what we have in mind, so that we can list it if the lady doesn't buy it.
And so, Murphy's Oil Soap comes through again.
Unfortunately, my little trip to the ditch finally reared it's ugly aftermath with a case of siatica. I haven't been able to sleep for the past 2 nights - pacing and praying away the spasms in my leg and ankle - with a good share of tears and sobs mixed in. I went to urgent care yesterday but the medicine they gave me really isn't touching it - today I have an appointment with my own doctor so hopefully he can check me out a bit more thouroughly - the NP didn't even have me put a gown on so that she could check me out. Not that I don't think she knows what she is doing, but the shot that she gave me was supposed to help within 15 minutes - and did not - and the pain killer isn't doing anything either.
So, this is my story and I am sticking to it. I sure hope I sleep better tonight - I could be retiring sooner than I thought if this lady is serious.
I can hope, right? Kasey is so excited.
Thanks Mr. Murphy. You did it again.
God bless our troops.
Sue

2009-01-11T22:31:00.002-05:00

Could this be?

Friday night after I got out of work, we took Kasey to a local place for dinner - we had a fish fry, Kasey had one of his usuals...spaghetti, no sauce - no thank you to the meatball this time.
When we got home, there were three messages on the answering machine. One was from the insurance company about our November accident. Another was a reminder for an appointment. And the third was a lady who said she heard that we are going to be selling our house and could she come and look at it?
Huh? Somebody wants to look at our house and it's not even on the market yet?
I mentioned to Ron it would be a good thing to give me a week to get ready - so that I can do some heavy cleaning. And so, she will be here Saturday.
As I was going through the last of the basement things today, I stopped to think about it a bit. I asked Ron if I could keep the whole book in which my one and only published poem is - or if I had to tear out the poem and throw out the book. :) I half expected he would say tear out the poem, but he could tell by the look on my face that this would not be a wise answer. Little by little we are REALLY getting into the swing of things here and I find that I can throw things out after all. Half of the basement floor has been given a new coat of paint - Ron will do the other half tomorrow. It looks clean and bright.
But could it be that this is really happening? This retirement thing, selling the house, moving adventure - it's really going to happen?
I cried a bit thinking of how difficult it will be to leave the home we've lived in for nearly 29 years. But Ron said, "it will be hard for us all but remember that we are just leaving a house - the home and the memories go with us."
I hate it when he's right - but this time am very thankful too.
God bless you - thanks for stopping by. And may He bless our troops - and those who wait.
Sue

2009-01-08T22:03:00.004-05:00

And in tonight's headlines....

We had a really miserable weather day here today. First, I overslept and woke up at 5:45 when the phone rang. It was one of my staff saying she wouldn't be able to come into work today.
So then I looked outside and even though it was pitch dark, it looked like a tundra. First "executive" decision of the day: "Kasey is staying home from preschool today," I announced to Ron, who really just wanted to go back to bed (and he did, but he was up again before I left).
Hmmm, maybe I should wait to go into work when the roads are better," I thought.
Second executive decision: "No, I'll get an early start so I can get there on time."
And therein was the mistake.
I should have realized when I had to plow through ruts and snow piles to get on our rural expressway that it wasn't plowed very well. Now, in the 15 years I have been doing the 30 some mile commute (each way) to my job, I have driven in snow storms that would knock your sox off. Why should today be any different?
Except that it was, and 15 minutes into my commute, going 23 miles per hour, I skidded off the road, down the embankment, and the car came to rest facing the wrong way in a water filled ditch. After calling the police, then Ron - who had tried to convince me to go in late - I sat there in the pitch dark, crying and thanking God. The car could have very easily flipped and I could have been upside down in the water. Anyway, the towing place said they could be there in two hours so I would just have to "sit tight." (Like I was going anywhere?)
The tow truck finally arrived and it only took him about 20 minutes to pull me out. There's a little damage to the driver's side front end - there was so much mud on the front of the car that we thought the license plate was missing - but once I was home and Ron rinsed off the car, the plate was there...just caked with mud from the trip into the ditch.
On tonight's news, as they talked about the weather and the accidents and the cars off the road, a picture popped up on the video, and there I was, big as life, sitting in the ditch.
Tonight I am sore, thankful, and extremely tired. You know how a person gets a surge of adrenalin in situations like that once they know they are alright? Well, the adrenalin doesn't last very long and eventually the aches set in. This is me wondering why the heck I am still up.
Bed time for this two star mom. Ron is driving me in tomorrow.
When one of the policemen stopped to check on me, I told him that I had so much on my desk I planned on doing today. He said, "well, this is why we are given another day - you can do it tomorrow."
Oh and just a couple other things. People care - as was evidenced in the 10 or 12 cars which either stopped or slowed down to check on me. For those who did that in such dangerous conditions, even if it was to roll down their window and holler out, "ARE YOU OK?" it was a gift.
I wasn't alone in the dark - well, eventually, the light.
And oh yes, the other thing....SEAT BELTS REALLY DO SAVE LIVES.
I am livng proof.
Thank you, God.
God bless our troops.

2009-01-06T20:51:00.002-05:00

Sleeping Beauties

Veronica spent the day here today with Ron - she had some sort of bug thing going on with her tummy so had to stay home from school...that means Papa answers the phone at 8 am and comes to the rescue cause Tina had to work. It was a relatively quiet day - this is pretty much how it looked for the entire afternoon. Veronica is ALLOWED to sleep on the couch with out a blanket under her - all people are allowed on our couch.

Lily, however is a different story....she is supposed to have her blanket covering the couch beneath her. Hmmm - guess Papa got the sleeping beauties mixed up, or else he just didn't want to disturb the sleeping watch dog.

Must be nice, huh?

God bless our troops and those of us who love them.

Blessings my friends...

Sue

2009-01-03T08:58:00.002-05:00

And so, we begin again.

Happy New Year my friends. With many good wishes that your 2009 will be bright with hope and good health and happiness.
I am a bit late on that but it's been a busy couple of days around here as we get back into the "just us three" routine. We took Kasey to a local mall yesterday - did some window shopping and went to a show.
I managed to keep from crying at the airport when Stephen and Laurie left. Choked back some tears and had to turn around to wipe a few stray tears away, but it was important to their little family that we remained strong so as not to make it any more upsetting than it was. Doubly difficult for Laurie and Stephen since they were not only leaving Kasey, but each other.
We begin phase 2 now - the rest of Stephen's deployment, Laurie's intense class schedule, and the continuing adventure for Kasey (and for us too).
2009 will be a year unlike any other for our family. The next few weeks will be pitching and tossing time. Setting some things aside for one more garage sale in the spring, and for packing to go in the RV. The manufacturer of the RVs that we were most interested in is going under so even though we were planning on buying one that isn't brand new, it won't be that kind since service and parts would be hard to come by.
And blitzing the house is mandatory. Once I get some of the extra stuff out of the way, flat surfaces cleared, etc., it will be time to show no mercy with the cleaning supplies.
Monday sees me back at work and Kasey back at pre-school. Two weeks off has been wonderful but if I am ever going to retire, I need to clear my desk.
And so, the mission begins. Clean the house, clear the desk, call the realtor. Kasey can help - there are a lot of things to be gotten rid of so he can help me in doing that.
Whew - what a year to look forward to.
With Stephen returned to the sand, I can tell you that the magnitude of deployment is hitting me a bit harder...seeing them all together, and now knowing they are apart. So many families going through this same experience - but I prefer to keep it on the positive side and give thanks for the two weeks we've had together. God is good.
May He bless you richly in 2009.

2008-12-28T00:46:00.002-05:00

And the days dwindle down...

The past 10 days have been a whirlwind of activity at our house - and of course we've done our share of activity at the local malls. We have watched Kasey enjoy being with his mommy and daddy - the three of them fit together like a glove. Santa came and went - actually he just rested a bit and mentioned something about sticking around til next year. HUGE dinner on Thursday which was really good (sorry, that sounds somewhat boastful but really, Ron prepped the roast and put it in the oven, brined the turkey and roasted that too). I made the side dishes like stuffing, the mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, the squash, green bean casserole, whipped cream fruit salad, homemade gravies - turkey and beef - and the apple crisp and blueberry pie.
I was blessed in that Ron, Scott and Vi, Stephen and Laurie cleaned up the kitchen for me and you know what that can be like after a holiday meal is cooked.
And there have been the quiet afternoons and evenings - playing Rummikub and Risk (now WHY would I play Risk - a military strategy game with two soldiers and a Navy Veteran)?
Kasey has been a happy little boy - I have of course stepped back from the guardian role and have just been grandma, letting his mom and dad make all the decisions about things. Today we went to the library - wish I could have had a camera when I happened on Ron and Kasey in "their" reading corner.
And so, as the days dwindle down, I am so thankful we've had this time with our soldiers. I knew it couldn't last forever and will enjoy every moment we have yet to spend together. If you could please pray for them as they leave one another, and Kasey, it would be so appreciated.
Funny thing, whenever Ron and I used to visit them - or they would visit us - we'd always joke about keeping Kasey. Ironically, it's not a joke anymore - we DO get to keep him. I smile in gratitude, while my eyes mist over at the thought of them separating again.
I know that God will keep me strong; it is my one certainty - Faith.
God bless our troops and those who love them.

2008-12-22T07:02:00.002-05:00

Love is a beautiful thing.

2008-12-19T18:59:00.002-05:00

An Early Christmas.

I know - I've been awol in recent days. Kasey had a cold, work was kind of busy because it was the semester end final processing, and oh yeah, I got an early Christmas present.
On Wednesday, my phone rang at work. It was Ron - asking me to look outside. I said you are an hour early picking me up, but ok, I'll be right out. I left the office, went to the outer hallway and looked out the door. Sitting in his carseat grinning like crazy was Kasey. And sitting next to him - looking at me - was Stephen. STEPHEN!! I screamed. Went out the door and hugged him within an inch of his life. A financial aid advisor - also a good friend - was on his way back into the office, witnessed the whole thing and came over to shake Stephen's hand. And another good friend was witnessing the whole thing through her office window.
To say that I was shocked just doesn't do it. To say that I was happy also doesn't do it...but to say that I cried unabandoned tears of joy? That's more like it.
Ron knew it was a possibility last week and then he got the call on Tuesday from Stephen that he was on his way home and could he pick him up from the airport.
Laurie didn't know and wouldn't have known had she not checked their checking account online this morning and found out that someone had used Stephen's bank card to buy some stuff yesterday...and rented a car. When she instant messaged me I told her every thing Stephen told me to say. An hour later the phone rang. "He's there, isn't he?" said the very familiar voice on the other end of the line. She figured it out when she found out that he had taken money out of an atm and used his pin number.
And so, when Laurie arrives in the next couple of days, we will be complete.
Half my Christmas was all wrapped up in camoflage on Wednesday afternoon and the remainder will arrive on a big bird which hopefully won't be delayed by weather difficulties. My cup is overflowing because Scott and Vi and Veronica will be here also. The tree will go up on Sunday and the kids will do the decorating. And I will just watch and smile.
And thank our Lord for His tender mercies.
God is good.
May He bless our troops wherever they may be.

2008-12-09T22:10:00.003-05:00

Not just another week.

Where does a week go? I can tell you that it sometimes vanishes into thin air. And the days go all too quickly.
But it really has been a blessed week. I am learning that it takes time to practice patience and love. There are wonderful things that need to be noticed and celebrated and savored.
Time with friends and family - one and the same in some cases. This past Sunday, our Pastor who has been serving our church as a licensed Deacon, was ordained at our church. The service was one of the most blessed and joyfilled and beautiful services I have ever attended. And our Pastor is finally a Reverend and so deserves this title. If God ever gave someone a heart to serve, it is our Pastor. He is faith FILLED, faithFUL ( to God and to our congregation and to the mission of spreading the Gospel), and has a love for Jesus that is so contagious. It was just a wonderful day.
My friend Betty and I were blessed to be part of the service - and though I was at first a bit nervous, when the time came to do what Pastor had asked of me, I walked down the aisle in total peace. God does that sometimes if we let Him. To just concentrate on the blessing and joy. Sunday, I let Him and I was richer by far for the experience.
Kasey and I have had our ups and our downs at times, I have definitely needed to raise my voice since he seems to want to push me to the limit, and then says "Ok Grandma" when I have reached that point. Funny little boy. but this perpetual inner happiness this journey is giving me just keeps things rolling along. The end of the day can't come soon enough just to know that I will be picking him up and bringing him home with me.
Yesterday, I promised him he could make snow angels when we got home. And so, as he laid in the snow and waved his arms and legs back and forth in the pure white snow, I decided it was a moment too good to pass up. I dropped everything that I was carrying, turned around, and fell on my back in the snow next to Kasey - snow angels are something you never forget how to make - and the fun of being on my back in the snow with my 3 year old grandson next to me enjoying the same unabandoned experience - well let me tell you that it brings tears to my eyes from the sheer joy of the moment. Life should be that uncomplicated more often, don't you think?
Stephen says they are very busy - I cringe when I hear that but we are so grateful for his phone calls. The one thing I remember about the last deployments was the loneliness I feel after we talk to him. I can almost sense the loneliness he must feel as the delay in our conversation reminds me of the distance we are from this young man we love so much.
I know it will be ok - even though it's sometimes one foot in front of the other, one day, one hour, one moment at a time. I tell Kasey that mommy will be home soon, and that daddy will be so glad to get our Christmas box. Hickory Farms stuff is on order, all the special coffee and snacks just about in the box and ready to go. I need to make some cookies but I think that I will be sending some special ones from the local bakery - their butter cookies are fabulous. Saturday will be a busy day packing and sending.
Dear Lord, thank you for the blessings you have bestowed on our family and on our church this past week. I know that Your will is at work - help me to seek You always - in all ways.
God bless our troops in these coming weeks as they spend this joyful season of peace far from home. And may those who serve - no matter WHERE they serve - find the dearest Friend of all and the Prince of Peace right there beside them.

2008-12-02T23:42:00.002-05:00

It's all in how you look at it.

Yesterday morning, Kasey and I didn't have a very good start. He was slow and grouchy, and I was late and stressed. He didn't want to get up, or get dressed, or eat his breakfast. There was new snow on the ground - and on the roads, and it was cold and windy. As I hurried Kasey through our morning routine, I raised my voice a few times. It surprised him - and upset me.
But by the time we were on our way to his preschool, things were better. Still, it set the tone for my day. Last night after I picked up Kasey, we went to the local convenient store for a couple of things: thick crusty bread to go with Ron's homemade sauce and meatballs; chocolate chip ice cream; some cones to put the ice cream in, and some cookies. As we stood at the checkout, Kasey was moving away toward some displays. I used my debit card to pay for the groceries and then Kasey and I left. When we got home, I took Kasey out of his carseat and went to carry the things into the house. I noticed one thing was missing: my purse. Handing every thing to Ron, I said that I would be right back - that I was going to pick up my purse. Thankfully it was still there and as I drove home I realized how blessed I am. And how sweating the small stuff really doesn't pay. And what the most important things truly are.
This morning, Kasey didn't get up well again. But I just kept coaxing him gently and he was awake in a couple of minutes asking me to carry him into the dining room for his breakfast. He was slow, but agreeable; silly, but willing to cooperate. ("ok, grandma, but WHY?") The streets were slippery but we made it to daycare ok and Kasey got to wear his baseball cap instead of the knit hat. Because in his words, it makes him look cool. Can't argue that. I was 10 minutes late getting started to work, traffic was heavy, the roads were slick. But guess who was smiling? Yup! Me! And I was there in plenty of time.
And so, beginning today, the job is important - being on time something that I don't want to compromise. But darn it, Kasey and me - we need to have good mornings. It makes for happier days for us both and for wonderful reunions at the end of each day.
I smile and thank God at the thought of so many days ahead of us. They won't always be great because there will be moments of frustration for us both. But oh the special times that are ours because of the moments we have in the early mornings - it's our time and it's a blessing for me.
I pray it is for Kasey too.
God bless our Troops.

2008-11-30T19:45:00.002-05:00

Nice while it lasted.

I had a five day weekend this week - took Wednesday off to do my pies and Thanksgiving preparation, and then our office was closed on Friday. I like five day weekends but they make it twice as hard to face those Monday mornings.
More winter weather is coming in tonight and tomorrow - went out yesterday and bought myself some boots at Payless - the ones I've been wearing are in sad shape and not very warm either. Got my Christmas cards at a brand new store - oh did it ever put me in the Christmas shopping mood. Those songs they play over the pa systems in the stores really set me to humming ~ and I don't know about you, but once I'm humming Christmas songs that's it. Time to get out the plastic. :)
And so, tomorrow morning the clock will ring at 5:20. The bathroom heater will go on, as well as the hot water for my shower. Kasey will be up and at 'em, and a new week will begin. It sure was nice while it lasted. Kasey agrees. It's nice to know that I have something in common with a 3 year old - besides us both loving and missing his mommy and daddy.
God bless your week my friends and may His love and protection be with our troops wherever they serve.

2008-11-28T15:15:00.003-05:00

Ice chips and lots of love.

Well, the phrase "just a little bug, honey" was brought forth around here today. Haven't said that to a child in years. But this morning, as Kasey's little tummy decided to reject his morning dinosaur eggs oatmeal, the days of toddlers and their fragile little tummys came back without a doubt. I am not his mommy and when a little kid gets sick, they want their mommy. This morning, he seemed to know that Grandma had some experience with this sort of thing and so he was fine in letting me handle the ice chips and blankies and the "just in case" towels.
This afternoon, as he lies on the couch, and I am breaking the 2 1/2 hour max TV rule (Laurie says it's ok :), he is doing much better. His tummy is better - he lifted his shirt and showed it to me. (I just want to give him one of those toy catalogs that have been coming every other day in the mail - know what I mean?).
And so we have passed our second crisis - the first was a rash from the laundry detergent we were using - free of everything but just not liking Kasey. Grandma went and bought some Dreft - something else we haven't seen around here in awhile.
And he is talking about when he will see his mom on the webcam tonight.
There's a rain/snow mix falling outside - a good day for being inside and on the couch with a warm blankie and lots of attention. This hour's movie is Peter Pan. Yup, I think Kasey knows that Grandma knows how to do this.
Ice chips and lots of love.

2008-11-27T09:15:00.007-05:00

An Abundance of Blessings

Happy Thanksgiving my friends. It's a busy morning around here - lots to do, lots to do. But never too busy to pause and wish all my friends a wonderful day. I am praying that no matter what kind of feast graces your table today - Turkey or Ham or something traditional to your family - may you find many blessings to be thankful for.

Kasey is a busy boy this morning - and I am smiling at the blessing of having him here. Scott and Veronica will be here later for dinner. More smiles.

God bless you all, and may He bless our troops wherever they serve.

Love,

Sue